Using the band's "emergency fund," Murray organizes a warm-up tour in preparation for a big gig in Central Park. At an airport bar, the boys get hooked by some "mermaids" from a woman's water-polo team - nearly ruining the tour and their relationship with Murray.
WAR
88.4
Wins Above Replacement
“What Goes On Tour” ranks #19 of 22 Flight of the Conchords episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 89.4 — Elite. The episode packs 67 scored jokes at 2.4 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Murray landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jemaine: Or are you an optical illusion caused by a woman sitting on a rock holding half a fish?
Murray: Is that... a bit silly, is it, Bret?
Jemaine · Murray · Bret: The Central Park reveal: 'This isn't Central Park.' — 'Yes it is. It's a central park.' — 'I said a central park in Newark... New Jersey.'
Bret: But get it wet and it snugs up, it'll shrink... shrink to fit.
Jemaine: Yeah, I can't even get mine off.
Murray: I'm so angry I feel like swearing.
Bret: Oh Murray, you wouldn't swear at us.
Murray: Go fuck yourself, Bret!
Murray Bret Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 67 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bret: Wouldn't have to be that big to be our biggest gig ever.
Murray: Headlining at Central Park? Yes. Us? Yes. Me and Bret? Yes!
Jemaine: Bret as well?
Murray: I've dipped into the Flight of the Conchords emergency fund.
Bret Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Murray: Players play the game, you guys play the guitar. Don't they? They kick the ball, you kick the... jams.
Murray Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jemaine: So we have to get up at 7:00 in the morning and do 200 squat-thrusts?
Murray Visual Gag Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bret: Yeah, you crossed out 'bus,' and you wrote 'bus.'
Murray Character Comedy Absurdist Murray: 'Honda Accord' was too big to fit in the gap there, so I put 'bus' back in.
Murray: Sometimes late at night when I'm driving alone, I imagine this is a bus.
Murray: Is that... a bit silly, is it, Bret?
Murray: You asked me why I was crying. I said it was the happiest day of my life. You don't remember that?
Murray Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Murray: those two effing idiots are good friends of mine, okay?
Murray Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Murray: I'm not even managing them anymore.
Jemaine: It's probably Mel stalking us.
Mel Running Gag Character Comedy Callback Mel: What a coincidence! Ha ha!
Murray: That's where the gig is, Jemaine. It's at the airport.
Jemaine: Shut up, Bret. Don't do your embarrassing speeches.
Bret: Well, it's only the middle of the afternoon, though.
Bret: There's hardly anyone here.
Murray: A lot of people have gone to get their flights
Murray: Not leather suits. It's a total waste of money.
Murray Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Murray: You've spent tomorrow's per diem. The per diem I gave you for was for the week.
Jemaine: 'Per diem' means for the day, though. See?
Murray: Well, I don't know Latin.
Jemaine: Well, you should have said...'per weekem,' would be the correct term.
Murray: You're like a couple of cool-looking idiots.
Murray: Do not call me at work, all right? I don't want them asking silly questions as to why I'm not at work
Murray: Okay, love you too! Bye-bye!
Murray Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement Callback Murray: You must have followed him, did you?
Bret: What, don't you think I'm capable of a classic rock 'n' roll move?
Murray: We're on tour now. Brings out the crazier side of someone like him.
Murray: Probably looking for some thunderstorms to rock out in.
Jemaine: Gotta be in exactly the right place. It's your turn to hold it, man. My arms are sore.
Murray Reaction Beat Character Comedy Murray: $8 can of mixed nuts. They must have been pretty good. Got so much buzz out of them that you chucked a television out the window.
Murray: I know how rock 'n' roll he thinks he is... Mr. Keith Moon.
Murray: You're watching Jemaine with his rock 'n' roll moves, buying the leather suits, getting the mixed nuts, jumping on the bed. And you thought, 'Oh, how can I equal this?'
Bret: No, I picked them out.
Murray: These are the guys that destroyed all that equipment the other night in Passaic!
Becky thought you guys were probably just a couple of magicians, and Kathy, Lisa, Tawny and Tracy thought you guys were probably just a couple of gays.
Jemaine: Are you sexy nurses?
Bret: Do we? Pfft. Do we?
Jemaine: Yeah, it's... everyone plays it. It's our national sport.
Bret: Bret Bret? No, just joking. It's McKenzie.
Jemaine: Don't joke, Bret, it's confusing when you joke.
Bret: Throw another shrimp on the barbie. Crikey! Wha!
Jemaine: Or are you an optical illusion caused by a woman sitting on a rock holding half a fish?
Bret: we've been waiting for five hours
Murray: Look, just pour some tap water and blow some bubbles in it
Bret: Oh no, that's my autograph.
Murray: This is your doing, isn't it, Rod Stewart?
Murray: Oh, they're in the car.
Jemaine Deadpan/Understatement Escalation Callback Murray: Well that's what happened. The Amer... on American cars, the hand brake's on this side. Oh, I must have just adjusted the seat.
Murray: First Jemaine with the mixed nuts, then the TV. And finally, Bret, you drive my Honda into the pool!
Murray: Personally, I prefer the mixed nuts caper.
Bret: Well, we all... we've all made a mistake each, so it sort of evens out.
Murray: I'm so angry I feel like swearing.
Bret: Oh Murray, you wouldn't swear at us.
Murray: Go fuck yourself, Bret!
Murray Bret Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bret: But get it wet and it snugs up, it'll shrink... shrink to fit.
Jemaine: Yeah, I can't even get mine off.
Murray: There there there there there there.
Murray: Yes it is. It's a central park. But it is a central park.
Mel Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Murray: Yes it is. It's a central park. But it is a central park. I said a central park in Newark.
Murray: I think I've broken a piece of them.
Jemaine Callback Deadpan/Understatement Callback Murray: Murray: 'I've done a lot of thinking that last 40 minutes when I was walking along the side of the road like a bum. I kind of realized I'm not a very good manager.'
Murray Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Murray · Jemaine: Jemaine: 'Thanks, Murray.' Murray: 'But it is.' Jemaine: '...' Murray: 'There there.' — beat — 'There there there there there there.'
Murray · Bret · Jemaine: The potato/one-potato-two attempt at a handshake ritual that no one knows — 'Potato? / One potato, two... / No, just leave it.'
Murray · Bret · Jemaine: Murray: 'Did you miss me?' Bret: 'Little bit.' Murray: 'Little bit, eh? Jemaine?' Jemaine: '...' [long pause] '...Oh...'
Jemaine · Murray · Bret: The Central Park reveal: 'This isn't Central Park.' — 'Yes it is. It's a central park.' — 'I said a central park in Newark... New Jersey.'
Murray: Murray on phone to Shelly, proudly: 'Managing a band, actually, a little band called Flight of the Conchords. Yeah yeah. 'Cause that's what I do, all right? Got it? Good.'
Murray Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Murray: Murray's cover story to his actual employer: 'I tripped over and both of my leg... muscles have... well, they contracted and I didn't know what... no. No. I don't manage a band. It has nothing to do with a band. Honestly, it's my legs. I think I've broken a piece of them.'
Murray Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Murray: Murray: 'No, there's nothing going on in the background. Okay.' — clearly standing at an outdoor gig
Murray Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Murray: Murray: 'Yes. I'll be in first thing.' — defeated acceptance of returning to his day job
Murray Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Top Episodes — Flight of the Conchords
