Drive By

Bret:Don't... don't forget to get me my, uh, banana.

Fruit Vendor:Where are you from?

Jemaine:New Zealand.

Fruit Vendor:Yeah, that's what I thought.

Fruit Vendor:I don't serve your kind here.

Fruit Vendor:Neila, can you go boil this in disinfectant?

Fruit Vendor:I don't want our customers complaining that our fruit tastes like New Zealanders.

Murray:Are you picking on Bret again, Jemaine?

Murray:You're hurting all of us when you bring down New Zealand, okay?

Murray:Tension in the band. Bret upset. All sorted now.

Bret:Oh, great. This is my favorite box.

Murray:Nothing from your mom, Jemaine.

Jemaine:So?

Murray:I'm just saying, all right?

Murray:That's not a DVD, by the way.

Bret:Yes, it is. Dubbed video dub.

Murray:25 years and it's already obsolete, that one. They move fast now, don't they?

Murray:We're just having a band meeting... talking about upcoming gigs, that sort of thing.

Jemaine:Yeah, there's none.

Jemaine:What about your wife?

Murray:I'm separated.

Jemaine:Are you?

Murray:Are you?

Jemaine:Yes!

Murray:I moved in with you guys for a month. I was upset, remember?

Bret:Oh, is that why you were there?

Murray:You talked me down off the roof.

Bret:Ah, yes yes.

Jemaine:Remember?

Bret:No.

Albi, the Racist Dragon song

TV Narrator:grumbled Albi quite racistly.

Albi:Get your hand off my tail, you'll make it dirty.

TV Narrator:And suddenly, Albi wasn't racist anymore.

Jemaine:Are you crying over the kids' show?

Bret:Yes.

Jemaine:So?

Bret:So?

Murray:there's a lot of 'prejudism' here

Murray:You know, the... the English and whatnot. Redcoats... the oppressors. We're not English...

Murray:you're pretty much the most disliked race in this whole country.

Jemaine:Wh... wh... what about black people?

Murray:They don't like you either.

Jemaine:Yeah, but Dave, you're Indian. You hate us?

Dave:Yeah. Sometimes.

Bret:But you're our best friend.

Dave:I know.

Bus Driver:You can't sit there, gotta go to the back.

Bret:There's a dog in the New Zealand section.

Fruit Vendor:Well, it's for dogs from America and people from New Zealand.

Fruit Vendor:How dare you call me a racist!

Jemaine:He doesn't mean racist. He means xenophobic.

Fruit Vendor:You want a brown delicious to the face?

Jemaine:I don't. Bret was sort of driving this situation.

Bret:You... are you counting in your head?

Fruit Vendor:Yeah.

Bret:What are you up to?

Fruit Vendor:Seven.

Bret:Oh.

Too Many Mutha'uckers song

Jemaine:I pay my mother... ucking rent fortnightly

Jemaine:Then... uckin' pop an apple in his ass, yeah

Jemaine:We're in the middle of a race war, Murray.

Murray:What's that?

Jemaine:Bad.

Jessica:It is on.

Murray:Oh! Oh, it just comes on! That's weird.

Murray:I can't really put my emotions into... into words. So I've decided to use lyrics.

Jemaine:Well, this... they're also words.

Murray:Hi.

Bret:I like it.

Murray:Yeah?

Bret:'Hi'?

Murray:Yep.

Bret:Is that it?

Murray:Yeah.

Murray:I don't want to make it too convoluted.

Murray:I like pie. I had a budgie but it died.

Jemaine:# Hot leggy blonde chick, got it going on # Wanna see you wearing that thong thong thong... # ...Panties on

Murray:it's inappropriate. I can't say that in the workplace, can I?

Bret:Too much mumbling. Yeah, a lot of it was inaudible.

Murray:Ah, Jessica. That's her name.

Bret:Do you have the new Gipsy Kings cassette?

Library Worker:Let me check. Yes, we have it.

Bret:I would like to reserve it.

Library Worker:I'll put it aside for you.

Bret:Excellent. Goodbye.

Bret:With telephones, you make the call.

Dave:Inject strychnine into a piece of his fruit. Then when a customer dies, the C.I.A. Will trace it back to the vendor and he's going straight to the big house... Alcatraz.

Dave:sometimes what I do is I think mean thoughts about the person. How do they know? They don't know.

Dave:Say a comeback to him!

Bret:Banana balls! You look like a... a something... like a banana balls.

Bret:What is the bird? What's that?

Dave:That's the bird.

Jemaine:Well, that bird doesn't have any wings. It's only got one leg.

Dave:try putting some wings on your bird. There we go. That's much nicer. But you don't wanna be nice.

Dave:It's not a fucking school play production. It's the bird.

Fruit Vendor:Throw another shrimp on the barbie. Ride around on your kangaroos all day.

Jemaine:No no no no.

Bret:That's Australians.

Jemaine:The accents are completely different. Th... they're like, 'Where's the car?' And we're like, 'Where's the car?'

Murray:Hi, leggy blonde...

Greg:she's no longer here.

Murray:Oh, that's fine. We'll do it in the morning.

Greg:No, I mean she's finished installing the new computer system. She's not coming back.

Murray:Leggy Blonde song

Murray:I had a budgie but it died

Jemaine:I'll never get to tear your clothes off on the photocopier