Bret and Jemaine are shocked by the prejudiced actions of a fruit vendor who won't sell to them because they are New Zealanders. Dave recommends a strong response and teaches them how to "flip the bird". Murray is smitten with the new tech support lady at the consulate.
WAR
126.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Drive By” ranks #5 of 22 Flight of the Conchords episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 96.0 — Elite. The episode packs 78 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.6 on craft and 7.6 on impact, with Jemaine landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Jemaine: I don't. Bret was sort of driving this situation.
Murray: I don't want to make it too convoluted.
Murray Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Murray: You talked me down off the roof.
Bret: Ah, yes yes.
Jemaine: Remember?
Bret: No.
Jemaine · Bret: 'No, you're thinking of Australians.' — the revelation that the vendor has been confusing New Zealanders with Australians the whole time
Jemaine Bret Misdirection Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Bret: You... are you counting in your head?
Fruit Vendor: Yeah.
Bret: What are you up to?
Fruit Vendor: Seven.
Bret: Oh.
Jemaine Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 78 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bret: Don't... don't forget to get me my, uh, banana.
Fruit Vendor: Where are you from?
Jemaine: New Zealand.
Fruit Vendor: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Fruit Vendor: I don't serve your kind here.
Fruit Vendor: Neila, can you go boil this in disinfectant?
Murray Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fruit Vendor: I don't want our customers complaining that our fruit tastes like New Zealanders.
Murray: Are you picking on Bret again, Jemaine?
Bret Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Murray: You're hurting all of us when you bring down New Zealand, okay?
Murray: Tension in the band. Bret upset. All sorted now.
Bret: Oh, great. This is my favorite box.
Murray Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Murray: Nothing from your mom, Jemaine.
Jemaine: So?
Murray: I'm just saying, all right?
Murray Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Murray: That's not a DVD, by the way.
Bret: Yes, it is. Dubbed video dub.
Murray: 25 years and it's already obsolete, that one. They move fast now, don't they?
Murray: We're just having a band meeting... talking about upcoming gigs, that sort of thing.
Jemaine: Yeah, there's none.
Murray Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jemaine: What about your wife?
Murray: I'm separated.
Jemaine: Are you?
Murray: Are you?
Jemaine: Yes!
Murray: I moved in with you guys for a month. I was upset, remember?
Bret: Oh, is that why you were there?
Murray: You talked me down off the roof.
Bret: Ah, yes yes.
Jemaine: Remember?
Bret: No.
Albi, the Racist Dragon song
TV Narrator: grumbled Albi quite racistly.
Albi Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Albi: Get your hand off my tail, you'll make it dirty.
TV Narrator: And suddenly, Albi wasn't racist anymore.
Jemaine: Are you crying over the kids' show?
Bret: Yes.
Jemaine: So?
Bret: So?
Murray: there's a lot of 'prejudism' here
Murray: You know, the... the English and whatnot. Redcoats... the oppressors. We're not English...
Dave Absurdist Character Comedy Murray: you're pretty much the most disliked race in this whole country.
Jemaine: Wh... wh... what about black people?
Murray: They don't like you either.
Jemaine: Yeah, but Dave, you're Indian. You hate us?
Dave: Yeah. Sometimes.
Bret: But you're our best friend.
Dave: I know.
Jemaine Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Bus Driver: You can't sit there, gotta go to the back.
Bret: There's a dog in the New Zealand section.
Fruit Vendor: Well, it's for dogs from America and people from New Zealand.
Fruit Vendor: How dare you call me a racist!
Jemaine: He doesn't mean racist. He means xenophobic.
Fruit Vendor: You want a brown delicious to the face?
Jemaine: I don't. Bret was sort of driving this situation.
Bret: You... are you counting in your head?
Fruit Vendor: Yeah.
Bret: What are you up to?
Fruit Vendor: Seven.
Bret: Oh.
Jemaine Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Too Many Mutha'uckers song
Jemaine Character Comedy Escalation Callback Jemaine: I pay my mother... ucking rent fortnightly
Jemaine Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Jemaine: Then... uckin' pop an apple in his ass, yeah
Jemaine: We're in the middle of a race war, Murray.
Murray: What's that?
Jemaine: Bad.
Jessica: It is on.
Murray: Oh! Oh, it just comes on! That's weird.
Murray: I can't really put my emotions into... into words. So I've decided to use lyrics.
Jemaine: Well, this... they're also words.
Murray: Hi.
Bret: I like it.
Murray: Yeah?
Bret: 'Hi'?
Murray: Yep.
Bret: Is that it?
Murray: Yeah.
Murray Character Comedy Reaction Beat Murray: I don't want to make it too convoluted.
Murray Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Murray: I like pie. I had a budgie but it died.
Jemaine: # Hot leggy blonde chick, got it going on # Wanna see you wearing that thong thong thong... # ...Panties on
Murray Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Murray: it's inappropriate. I can't say that in the workplace, can I?
Bret: Too much mumbling. Yeah, a lot of it was inaudible.
Murray Character Comedy Absurdist Murray: Ah, Jessica. That's her name.
Bret: Do you have the new Gipsy Kings cassette?
Library Worker: Let me check. Yes, we have it.
Bret: I would like to reserve it.
Library Worker: I'll put it aside for you.
Bret: Excellent. Goodbye.
Jemaine Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bret: With telephones, you make the call.
Murray Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Dave: Inject strychnine into a piece of his fruit. Then when a customer dies, the C.I.A. Will trace it back to the vendor and he's going straight to the big house... Alcatraz.
Murray Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Dave: sometimes what I do is I think mean thoughts about the person. How do they know? They don't know.
Murray Character Comedy Reaction Beat Dave: Say a comeback to him!
Bret: Banana balls! You look like a... a something... like a banana balls.
Bret: What is the bird? What's that?
Dave: That's the bird.
Jemaine: Well, that bird doesn't have any wings. It's only got one leg.
Murray Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Dave: try putting some wings on your bird. There we go. That's much nicer. But you don't wanna be nice.
Dave Absurdist Character Comedy Dave: It's not a fucking school play production. It's the bird.
Dave Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Fruit Vendor: Throw another shrimp on the barbie. Ride around on your kangaroos all day.
Jemaine: No no no no.
Bret: That's Australians.
Jemaine: The accents are completely different. Th... they're like, 'Where's the car?' And we're like, 'Where's the car?'
Dave Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Murray: Hi, leggy blonde...
Greg: she's no longer here.
Murray: Oh, that's fine. We'll do it in the morning.
Greg: No, I mean she's finished installing the new computer system. She's not coming back.
Bret Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Murray: I had a budgie but it died
Jemaine: I'll never get to tear your clothes off on the photocopier
Bret · Jemaine: Bret's 'bird': he extends the wrong finger and says 'Well, that bird doesn't have any wings. It's only got one leg.'
Dave: 'It's not a fucking school play production. It's the bird.' — Dave's exasperated summary
Dave Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Dave: Dave explains the bird's meaning: 'Hey, you better not disrespect me, man, even though I'm gonna disrespect you.'
Dave Observational Character Comedy Dave · Bret: Bret practices the bird with Dave coaching him through it with timing: 'Around, and up. Good, Bret. Around and up.' — one minute 32 seconds to learn
Dave Bret Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jemaine: 'It was either this or getting you sent into Alcatraz.' — Jemaine's explanation to the vendor of why they chose the bird over the strychnine plan
Jemaine Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Jemaine: Jemaine's speech: '...Or whether they spell words slightly differently... some would say more correctly.'
Jemaine Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Fruit Vendor: Vendor is moved by Jemaine's speech: 'That's a great speech. Too bad New Zealanders are a bunch of cocky a-holes descended from criminals and retarded monkeys.'
Jemaine · Bret: 'No, you're thinking of Australians.' — the revelation that the vendor has been confusing New Zealanders with Australians the whole time
Jemaine Bret Misdirection Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Jemaine: 'Th... they're like, "Where's the car?" And we're like, "Where's the car?"' — Jemaine demonstrates the supposedly distinct accents
Jemaine Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fruit Vendor · Bret · Jemaine: The vendor apologizes and gives them free fruit; they're suddenly best friends with Sinjay the vendor after the entire episode's conflict
Jemaine · Bret · Murray: SONG: 'Leggy Blonde' — Murray's full love song for Jessica, incorporating the budgie, the pie, and the thong lyrics as a complete musical number after she's gone
Greg · Murray: Greg delivers the news that Jessica won't return: 'She's finished installing the new computer system. She's not coming back.' Murray: 'Oh, right. She's gone.'
Jemaine: 'Her hair down to her legs / And her legs down to the floor'
Jemaine Wordplay/Pun Absurdist ★ Rewatch Murray: 'I had a budgie but it died' — inserted into the romantic chorus of 'Leggy Blonde'
Murray Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Murray · Bret · Jemaine: '# I had a budgie but it died #' — appears mid-song in 'Leggy Blonde'
Murray: Song: '# I like pie #' — Murray's other lyric also makes the final song
Murray Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Jemaine: Final verse: 'I'll never get to tear your clothes off on the photocopier' — in the middle of the sincere, sad romantic outro
Jemaine Dark/Subversive Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jemaine · Bret: Finale: Jemaine's 'thong thong thong / panties on' verse from the earlier workplace meeting is incorporated into the full 'Leggy Blonde' song as the closing verse
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