A performance at a local "World Music Jam" results in the Conchords gaining two new fans, but Mel is suspicious of the newcomers and their motives. Murray encourages the band to adopt a more "rock star" attitude.
WAR
103.2
Wins Above Replacement
“New Fans” ranks #13 of 22 Flight of the Conchords episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 93.0 — Elite. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 2.2 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.5 on impact, with Bret landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Murray: You'll end up going into town in a taxi, have a couple of drugs, have dinner, have a threesome, go home again. Have a shower, go out again, more drugs, more threesomes... happens all the time.
Jemaine Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback No, that's a dry piece of skin. You dropped it.
Bret Jemaine Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dave: Jesus! Sorry guys. My roommate's... being kind of a jerk.
Mel Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Murray: I bought you guys a beer.
Bret: I don't even drink beer.
Jemaine: I don't drink it either.
Murray: Just drink it, will you?
Bret Dave Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jemaine: Who likes to rock the party?
Bret: I like to rock the party
Dave Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Murray: Where's yours?
Bret: It's on my chair.
Bret Absurdist Character Comedy Murray: you could have a bit of hay coming out of your mouth... a little bit of hay.
Jemaine: All the time?
Murray: Yeah.
Bret: 'Cause there was probably only one entry.
Murray: No, there was hundreds, actually.
Bret: Really?
Murray: Yep. They're all from Mel.
Murray: And one from Jemaine.
Jemaine: Right.
Murray: But he was disqualified.
Murray Bret Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Murray: Because you can't be a fan of the band.
Jemaine: Why?
Murray: It's not a good look.
Bret Murray Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bret: Yeah, well, that's 'cause I'm not a fan of the band. I'm more a fan of popular bands like the Bee Gees, Pearl Jam.
Murray: First prize... the chance to cook for you two tomorrow night.
Jemaine: That's a terrible prize. I'm glad I didn't win that.
Bret Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Murray: I've already e-mailed her pretending to be you saying you're excited.
Jemaine: Were you pretending to be me as well?
Murray: Yes, that's what I do. It's... it's easier.
Bret Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Murray: Actually, next time you see Mel, you might want to apologize for your last e-mail.
Jemaine: Okay. Why?
Murray: It's just, I think she was quite insulted.
Bret Character Comedy Absurdist MC: Bonjour, lay ho, salaam, nabadeey, konnichiwa, and hola. Welcome to Tuesday World Music Jam.
MC Setup/Punchline Running Gag Bret: World Music Jam? We don't play world music. Do we?
Murray: Yes. Where's New Zealand from if it's not from the world?
Bret: There's a lot of hot women here.
Jemaine: Yeah.
Bret: Look at those two.
Jemaine: Whoa. Whew.
Ladies song with increasingly absurd nationality descriptors culminating in 'Amphibian Lady' and 'Presbyterian Lady'
Bret: Hermaphrodite Lady-man lady / All you sexy hermaphrodite lady-man ladies
Bret Physical/Slapstick Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch If every soldier in the world / Put down his weapon and picked up a woman / What a peaceful world this world would be
Redheads not warheads / Blondes not bombs / We're talking about brunettes not fighter jets
Mel Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Bret: Where every lady gets a little piece of Bretty
Bret: I don't care if you're ugly or you're skanky or you're small / Just want to do a little something special for you all
MC: Something completely different here. They're from New Zealand. We have... The Flute of the Commodores.
Murray Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Song opening with extensive tuning: A, B... A... D, G, G, G... G, G, G... G...
Jemaine: Who likes to rock the party?
Bret: I like to rock the party
Dave Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Murray: Different start to the song.
Murray: What were you doing there?
Bret: No, it's the same.
Dave Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Murray: I bought you guys a beer.
Bret: I don't even drink beer.
Jemaine: I don't drink it either.
Murray: Just drink it, will you?
Bret Dave Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jemaine: I do things for my image... make it more rock 'n' roll with the goatee and everything. I don't like this goatee. I hate it.
Bret: Makes you look like a goat, doesn't it?
Jemaine: Yeah, exactly.
Dave Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Jemaine: Tell you what, maybe if I pretend to go to the toilet, you guys see if they're looking at me.
Jemaine: Okay?
Bret: Yep.
Dave Bret Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jemaine: No, they're not looking at me! I might actually go to the toilet now that I'm over here!
Fan: You must have been really wasted when you wrote that.
Jemaine: No.
Fan: Do you mean on drugs?
Jemaine: Oh, yes, we were tripping when we wrote that one, that's right.
Jemaine: We were totally whacked off.
Fan: What?
Jemaine: Whacked off?
Fan: Uh, that's just a drug term we use back in New Zealand
Murray Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Dave: I got a shirt that's got a mouse having sex with another mouse in a mousetrap. I score chicks in this shirt all the time.
Dave: I guarantee you, I was just pumping away in this thing the other night.
Bret: I was hoping to dress something like Prince. Kind of erogenous, huh?
Murray: Yeah, but toned down a bit, like, Prince if he was just going to the zoo or the supermarket.
Bret: Casual Prince?
Dave: Jesus! Sorry guys. My roommate's... being kind of a jerk.
Mel Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bret: Is that a woman's blouse?
Dave: No.
Bret: Looks like a blouse.
Dave: No no no. This is what you're looking for, man. That's totally Prince.
Mel Bret Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Bret: Dude, you think I live with my parents?
Dave: Oh, is that your dad, though?
Bret: No. That's just some old, crotchety Indian couple that I sublet to.
Bret: The weird thing is they look like me. They've got photos of themselves with you as a kid.
Dave: I know. It's creepy. I think they make them on the computer.
Doug Bret Dark/Subversive Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Jemaine: That's... that's our bedroom.
Murray: Yep. That's a live webcam from your bedroom.
Mel Bret Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Murray: I've had a really good response from something that happened with you when you were alone with the webcam. Do you know what that would be?
Mel Bret Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Jemaine: I didn't know we had a webcam.
Murray: Okay, well, whatever you're doing, just be careful, all right?
Murray: We've tripled the fan base. So we need two new t-shirts made up.
Murray: You'll end up like ZZ Top.
Jemaine: What are you talking about?
Murray: You know, ZZ Top.
Jemaine: Yeah?
Murray: They sang the song about the... the... the woman with the legs.
Murray: they had a do-we-have-a-beard- or-not situation.
Bret: That's nice, like... kind of like bad weather.
Mel: Do you not have a computer, or...
Rain: No, I do have a computer.
Mel: Oh, you can't read.
Rain: Oh, I thought he was your dad.
Mel: He's a little bit older than me.
Rain: Yeah.
Mel: He was my college professor.
Mel: He resisted for a while and there were some legal... boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or... his family, but... in the end, love overcame.
Bret Absurdist Wordplay/Pun Mel: I always get what I want.
Bret Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Callback Mel: But you don't drink beer, Bret.
Bret: I drink it all the time.
Mel: I thought it always made you go to the toilet.
Doug: Oh, hey, Bret.
Bret: Are you gonna come up for dinner?
Doug: Uh, no. This is Mel's special day. Besides, I'm... I'm happy down here.
Jemaine Reaction Beat Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mel: Those girls, I don't trust them, Bret. They have no interest in you as musicians. They just want to...
Bret: Just want to what?
Mel: They want to do it with you, Bret.
Bret: Sex?
Jemaine: So, uh, you guys want to get whacked off?
Summer: What?
Jemaine: Yeah. Whacked off, you know, do some drugs.
Bret Callback Deadpan/Understatement Callback Bret: I have a cold.
Bret: So I won't.
Bret: Yeah.
Jemaine: I've also got the same cold. It's airborne.
Jemaine: Maybe just half my half again.
Bret: I'll just have a 16th.
Summer Bret Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback No, that's a dry piece of skin. You dropped it.
Bret Jemaine Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Pretty Prince of Parties drug song with nonsensical lyrics
Bret Jemaine Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Jemaine: I'm going to suggest that we have a threesome.
Oh.
Jemaine: I just have to go and talk to Bret quickly.
Jemaine: You got to go home.
Bret: Why?
Jemaine: Because I've been offered a threesome.
Bret: What about me?
Jemaine: No, you're not included.
Jemaine: You got it wrong. They want me in the threesome.
Bret: What? That's not a threesome, that's a foursome.
Bret Jemaine Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bret: You got it wrong. They want me in the threesome.
Jemaine: What? That's not a threesome, that's a foursome.
Jemaine: You ever had a threesome?
Bret: Nearly.
Jemaine: What you mean, nearly?
Bret: I had a twosome.
Jemaine: Yeah, I've done that. I've had a one-way and a two-way.
Bret: Oh no, I've had a twosome!
Murray Character Comedy Absurdist Bret: Summer, where's Rain?
Summer: Oh, Rain went home. She didn't want to be here while we were all having a threesome.
Murray Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Extended threesome negotiation in bathroom with both deciding not to participate
Bret: Are you doing it?
Jemaine: You're not doing it?
Bret: No.
Jemaine: Okay, I won't do it.
Bret: Well, if you're not doing it, then I think I'm... yeah, I'm gonna do it.
Jemaine: Let's just climb out the window and go home. Come on.
Murray: What, for the manager to e-mail the fans and offer them man-man-lady threesome?
Bret Jemaine Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Murray: You'll end up going into town in a taxi, have a couple of drugs, have dinner, have a threesome, go home again. Have a shower, go out again, more drugs, more threesomes... happens all the time.
Jemaine Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Bret: How many fans have we got now?
Murray: None. Empty club. I've put a note here... no one.
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