Prime Minister

Brett:present.

Jemaine:present.

Murray:Why didn't you let us say present?

Murray:I'm trying to save time here, Jemaine.

Jemaine:That wouldn't have saved much time.

Murray:Do you want to know why?

Jemaine:No.

Murray:All right, I'll tell you.

Bret:Will the queen be at the president meeting?

Murray:Oh, you're there, greg, lurking. How long have you been lurking there?

Murray:I got you both something.

Murray:Jemaine, this is for you.

Jemaine:Thanks, Murray.

Murray:And Bret, this is for you.

Bret:Cheers.

Murray:I thought you might like them. They're, uh, gifts.

Jemaine:What are they?

Murray:Clothes. And a wig.

Bret:Why would you give us a wig?

Murray:I thought it might be fun. You know, for a costume party or something.

Jemaine:A wig? What does Bret need a...

Murray:Yeah. It's for the gig, okay?

Murray:'I listened to some of their songs, and they're actually better than your songs'

Murray:Well, technically it was a gig. We put your names down on the karaoke list.

Bret:That's not a gig, Murray.

Murray:It was a paying gig.

Jemaine:We had to pay to get in.

Murray:Yeah, but you got to sing.

Jemaine:You've been managing us for two years.

Murray:Yeah, I know, but that's the first time I've been to that karaoke bar.

Murray's explanation about lookalikes who don't look like anyone

Jemaine:'So we look like some simon & garfunkel lookalikes who don't look like simon & garfunkel?'

$50?

Murray:$50 each.

Elton:I'm doing my thing. He's doing his thing. My thing is doing his thing, but it's my thing, not his thing.

Elton's outrage at another Elton John impersonator doing the same outfit

Elton impersonator:There is a guy who is not doing his own thing. There's a guy who doesn't have a single original idea in his head. He's dressed... he's doing elton John's thing. He looks like you.

Host:This is parsley and this is sage.

Host:Hello, sage.

Date:I usually look better than this.

Date:I like your height.

Jemaine:I'm usually this height.

Murray:The prime minister. Yes, he's terribly jet-lagged. He thinks it's tomorrow. Don't wake him.

Woman:Do you like bubble baths? Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Prime Minister:asking what day it is 'yesterday?'

Prime Minister:Prime Minister's obsession with the ending of Cars movie

Prime Minister:Good. It was touch and go there for a while. Thank you for that, Murray. That was well done.

Murray:Don't pull that out, 'cause that's obviously not a gun. When you pull it out, just go 'it's still in there.'

Bystander:What language is he talking?

Jemaine:English.

Jemaine:Dave, I'm going on a date with a woman tonight.

Dave:Gonna bang her?

Jemaine:She didn't mention that. She mentioned dinner.

Murray:Murray's desperate call to White House insisting New Zealand is a country

Prime Minister:You know what that is, don't you? Glitch in the matrix. Fuckin' a.

Jemaine:the one with the shopping list

Mel appearing and disappearing with crazy warnings about the date

There was no one there. That's weird. Mmm. That's... that's strange.

Woman:Can you put the wig back on?

Date:Do you always talk with the accent?

Jemaine:Yeah.

Date:Don't talk. Sing.

Jemaine:Pardon?

Date:Sing 'bright eyes.' I don't think that... Sing it. Don't sing. Don't talk.

Woman:Shut up and sing!

Jemaine:What?

Woman:No, don't sing, just talk dirty to me.

Jemaine:What?

Woman:No, shut up!

Jemaine:Demon Woman song lyrics about curdling milk and scaring livestock

Jemaine:how'd you magic my clothes off?

Jemaine:your breasts are balls of flame / and I'm burning my hands playing these ballgames

Bret:Why are you wearing your art garfunkel costume?

Jemaine:I don't know. She just prefers me to wear it.

Jemaine:I've been away three days and I'm still wearing the costume.

Elton:I've had eleven Elton babies.

Elton:I'm gay.

Jemaine:I could keep this up a couple of years.

Prime Minister:feeling 'one up from angry' - 'livid'

Prime Minister:a complete and utter turkey

Bret:They'd be very small, almost like crumbs. 900... I think that's too many.

Prime Minister:Try and split the difference.

Art Garfunkel appearing at the door and the second Art Garfunkel revelation

This is like the 12th one?

Murray:This is the 44th president of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama.

Prime Minister:I know kung fu.

Prime Minister:I knew it... a bloody glitch. I knew it!

Jemaine:Bret, are you rehearsing Paul simon's solo stuff?