Prime Minister

Brett:present.

Jemaine:present.

Murray:Why didn't you let us say present?

Murray:I'm trying to save time here, Jemaine.

Jemaine:That wouldn't have saved much time.

Murray:Do you want to know why?

Jemaine:No.

Murray:All right, I'll tell you.

Bret:Will the queen be at the president meeting?

Murray:Oh, you're there, greg, lurking. How long have you been lurking there?

Murray:I got you both something.

Murray:Jemaine, this is for you.

Jemaine:Thanks, Murray.

Murray:And Bret, this is for you.

Bret:Cheers.

Murray:I thought you might like them. They're, uh, gifts.

Jemaine:What are they?

Murray:Clothes. And a wig.

Bret:Why would you give us a wig?

Murray:I thought it might be fun. You know, for a costume party or something.

Jemaine:A wig? What does Bret need a...

Murray:Yeah. It's for the gig, okay?

Murray:'I listened to some of their songs, and they're actually better than your songs'

Murray:Well, technically it was a gig. We put your names down on the karaoke list.

Bret:That's not a gig, Murray.

Murray:It was a paying gig.

Jemaine:We had to pay to get in.

Murray:Yeah, but you got to sing.

Jemaine:You've been managing us for two years.

Murray:Yeah, I know, but that's the first time I've been to that karaoke bar.

Murray's explanation about lookalikes who don't look like anyone

Jemaine:'So we look like some simon & garfunkel lookalikes who don't look like simon & garfunkel?'

$50?

Murray:$50 each.

Elton:I'm doing my thing. He's doing his thing. My thing is doing his thing, but it's my thing, not his thing.

Elton's outrage at another Elton John impersonator doing the same outfit

Elton impersonator:There is a guy who is not doing his own thing. There's a guy who doesn't have a single original idea in his head. He's dressed... he's doing elton John's thing. He looks like you.

Host:This is parsley and this is sage.

Host:Hello, sage.

Date:I usually look better than this.

Date:I like your height.

Jemaine:I'm usually this height.

Murray:The prime minister. Yes, he's terribly jet-lagged. He thinks it's tomorrow. Don't wake him.

Woman:Do you like bubble baths? Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Prime Minister:asking what day it is 'yesterday?'

Prime Minister:Prime Minister's obsession with the ending of Cars movie

Prime Minister:Good. It was touch and go there for a while. Thank you for that, Murray. That was well done.

Murray:Don't pull that out, 'cause that's obviously not a gun. When you pull it out, just go 'it's still in there.'

Bystander:What language is he talking?

Jemaine:English.

Jemaine:Dave, I'm going on a date with a woman tonight.

Dave:Gonna bang her?

Jemaine:She didn't mention that. She mentioned dinner.

Murray:Murray's desperate call to White House insisting New Zealand is a country

Prime Minister:You know what that is, don't you? Glitch in the matrix. Fuckin' a.