The Nap

You know that manslaughter is the least serious murder charge? Manslaughter. Literally, the slaughter of a man. Sounds brutal, doesn't it? Yet it's the most socially acceptable form of murder.

How about 'inadvertent life-ending'? 'Unintentional snuff-out.'

How about 'I can't believe it's not murder'?

Well, he was the devil's son, right? I thought he was the devil's helper. He's pretty scary for a helper.

Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed.

Walking date's good. You don't have to look at the person. It's the next best thing to being alone.

Yeah, look at those babies, huh? They're prunes.

Nothing, just a mischievous, rambunctious kid.

You know Twinkies aren't cooked? It looks cooked. It's dark on the bottom. That's just the way it is. It's a substance.

Like Back in Business... or Good Vertebrations. Not this one. It's called the Lumbar Yard.

Drop one. Left.

Sounds like a cool fort.

There is no normal. Whatever Jerry wants. He wants me here late, I'm late. Early, I'm early.

Maybe we'll just stand and watch the TV.

Mattress? I didn't order a mattress. Who sent this?

Like that? Like that? Like that. If that's what you want. That's what I want.

This is better than my bed at home.

It was like I was swimming through a flabby-armed spanking machine.

That pool can't hold me, Jerry.

You think he was expecting a roll in the supportive hay?

You have a waterbed? Sand. It's like sleeping on a beach.

Just figure it out for yourself and get it done. All right, Jerry, but I can figure it out by myself any way you want.

She's a heartbreaker, a love-taker, Brubaker run this prison like a man. Something like that. Very catchy tune. Very, very catchy.

I estimated your height and weight: 5'8'', about 110 pounds?

No, that's probably just a dead body, son. You see, when the mob kills someone, they throw the body in the river.

Technically, Norfolk has more gross tonnage.

Swimming? Well, floating. They weren't moving much, but they were out there.

Should I go? No way, Jack. I'm not humming it at the record store again.

How about a ride on the Stein-pony express? Get up here. What's your name, shorty? Mel? Are you Mel?

Beat it, Brian. Beat it. Beat it.

Call in a bomb threat. A bomb threat? Why would I call in a bomb threat? Just call.

Oh, my God. Quick, everybody under the desk.

Can you imagine what went through my mind when I saw there wasn't room under that desk for me and my babies?

You had a premonition about the bomb. You climbed under because you have ESP. Quick, George, put a thought in my mind. Meatballs, huh? Unbelievable. You're a wonder, George.

No more cheap adjustable hats for Hat Day. He wants fitted hats just like the players wear.

What is this? It's like you're selling movie tickets back here.

Oh, man, I'm on the wrong floor again.

Hey, you know what I think it is? I think it's that East River. I think it might be polluted.

Yeah, I'm with stinky. I'm going back to my place.

What if a pinhead shows up? I gotta be on top of that.

Seven and five-eighths! Why are you shouting? I don't know! It's this place. I'm very uncomfortable here.

I went clamming the other day and I forgot to hose off my boots. Clamming? Yeah, I clam and scallop.

Is it 'Fe-bru-ary' or 'Feb-uary'? Because I prefer 'uary,' and what is this rule?

It would be nice if you called ticket-holders if a game is gonna be rained out.

When someone's unstable, don't stir the pot. Know what I'll do? Run around the stadium, closing windows.

It'll be years before they find another place to hide cheese on a pizza.

Ferry traffic gets really bad around 4:30.

You've been in her bed. That's right. But this isn't still going on? No, no, no, she put a stop to that.

Four hours in this chop, and I'm a full inch taller.

Fire in the hole!

You want something one day. The next day you don't like it. I mean, come on, man. Make a decision.

I am trapped under a funky mattress.

He recommended it to all his patients.

He just sunk like a stone, didn't he?

It's just empty calories and male curiosity, eh, Georgie?

Starting tomorrow, no more desks. Just a Lucite table and four legs.

You people find your own river!

No, and I prefer Conrad.

Not bad for 4000 bucks.

Can't believe I got the low-fat.