The Abstinence

Who are you gonna eat to survive? -Kramer. -So fast? What about me? -No.

Kramer's so stringy. I'm plump, juicy.

Kramer's got more muscle, higher protein content. It's better for you.

If other people are having some, I'll try you.

With me, or in general?

So how long is this not gonna be a problem for me?

I'm like a sexual camel.

No, it's not debunk. It's totally bunk. -Isn't bunk bad? Like, 'that's a lot of bunk'? -No, something is bunk, then you debunk it.

I've heard of Ohio, Katie

And you were integral.

I'm getting bumped? You're bumping me from Career Day?

Then I'm not really attracted you.

You got bumped from Career Day?

Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries?

You can make all the laws you want. He's still gonna bother people.

Like fire in a school is such a big deal.

Before you know it, Letterman won't return your calls.

I just remembered where I left my retainer in second grade.

Just because a person's a smoker doesn't mean he's not a human being. -It doesn't?

These people aren't gonna let themselves be flicked into the ashbin of society. -Why not?

Dead bodies really gross me out.

Rick is a periodontist. He does Giuliani's gums.

Can't you at least tell them what to do? -Like what? -Shouldn't he elevate his legs? -Right. Elevate your legs.

I call him doctor.

You know, they come in once, it's like they're addicted.

They cancelled Rick James. -'Super Freak'? -Yes.

Oh, yes, you are. We'll just stop having sex.

Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?

In six games.

Nine minutes.

And give you the chance to see some real disappointed kids.

Portuguese? Yeah, my cleaning lady is Portuguese. I must have picked it up.

I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don't know no Portuguese.

To a woman, sex is like the garbage man.

The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid.

It looks like an old catcher's mitt.

You've experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours.

Emphysema, birth defects, cancer, but not this.

Everything I have I owe to this face. It's my allure, my twinkle.

'Winnie-the-' blank. -Pooh. -Poo.

Perhaps I can better serve the world this way.

You mean, not subjecting women to your sexual advances?

There was a pretty good chance I was never gonna have sex again anyway.

I wrote a 20-minute bit about how homework stinks.

Oh, my vacation was restful, resplendent, magnificent. In fact, next time I'm planning on going to Corfu.

Your face is my case.

You could read the paper through the whole thing, if you want.

Is Kramer home?

I used to share that very same outlook, but now I have so many things to occupy my mind. For instance, the atom.

In fact, I feel Mr. Kramer projects a rugged masculinity.

By the time this case gets to trial, he'll be nothing more than a shrunken head.

I always knew that after I became a doctor I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor.

I calculated my odds of ever getting together with a Portuguese waitress. Mathematically, I had to do it, Jerry.

Hey, kids, what's the deal with homework? You're not working on your home.

A long time ago, my uncle and a date are driving, like, through Mexico. They see one on the road. Drags him out of the car and chews his face off.