Paper Marriage

Well, we got one, but ours is in the men's room.

How far did you get? / 'Dear Allen.' / That's 'Alien.'

Papers? / Zigzags?

You ever see any of the letters Latka gets from his homeland? They have postage stamps that honor barbed wire.

Some of it ain't even true.

You should see what's written about you on the walls of the ladies' room. / I know what it says in there. I wrote it.

Latka's the poodle I never had.

I don't think this is a full deck. / Doesn't make any difference. They'll never know.

They like to be called officers.

He's under that cab. / Louie! / You swine!

Fifth Avenue and... I don't know that intersection.

You take tongue right out of my mouth.

Phyllis George.

That's why I was buying you time when the feds came in.

It never occurred to him to just drop it.

That's the sweetest thing anybody ever said to me. I think.

Who asked you?

Oh, boy, we will be so happy. / No. N-o spells 'no.' / Aw, shup.

She's not a hooker. She's a call girl.

I love you.

I don't understand why he won't forgive me. All I did was turn him in.

But it's not absolutely necessary.

The line to kiss the bride could take a while. / I hear they asked the vice squad to give the bride away.

I've dressed up as everything from Pocahontas to Darth Vader.

'How...' / Can anybody else answer for him? / 'How...' / I'm up for retirement in two years.

She's classy, and you're just a grease monkey. It'll never work out.

In fact, they even went so far as to offer Latka $1,000 to leave their daughter alone, but he wouldn't take it.

The parents only offered me a lousy 50 bucks. / What was the other thing? / I took it.

The church was investigated and cleared completely. / Cleared of what? / Why go into it?

It doesn't even exist anymore.

Always. This is my first.

My mother paid good money for these lessons, and I thought Latka should have some music for his nuptials.

I bet you all thought I was going to screw up, didn't you?

'A part of me.'

This is heavy.

No honeymoon?

Boy, America's a tough town.

What did you do today? / Oh, uh... meet girl. Marry her. Uh, she leave me. It was fun.