The Lighter Side Of Angela Matusa

Well, If they want to have pants-putting-on contest, I'm in.

Okay, okay, Tony, look, if, if my plans fall apart on Saturday and I have nothing better to do, and I, uh, feel in the mood to be humiliated, I might just drop by.

You want the message explained, it'll cost you another buck.

All right. Ah, the explanation is I gave you the wrong message.

Yours will cost you another dollar. But... I'll put it on your tab.

Nice kid, great sense of humor... fat.

Big Angie Matusa, the apartment house with legs.

Hey, Tone, she'd make a great catcher for your baseball team. That dame could cover the plate, the umpire and the sun.

I'll prepare for her arrival. Open the loading docks!

Some men climb mountains, others date 'em.

Oh, I think I'm gonna write these bon mots down, before I forget them.

Lock up the candy machine.

The management requested it.

No, really I'm one of the few women in New York who's safe on the streets.

They give you a little dinner, they think they own you.

My God, you lost a ton!

The only thing that could spoil this moment if Cheryl Tiegs was standing behind me.

He said I could eat anything as long as it wasn't food.

You don't know how many pounds I've waited to hear somebody say that.

Nah, I throw it over my car when it rains.

Ahoy, there! Has anyone seen anything of the great white whale?

She's not so fat.

But, hey, if you ever bloat up again, come and see me.

Make the salad dressing Hundred Island.

I chased him six blocks and lost him in an alley.

All it takes is a little, uh, confidence and, um, another nine years.

You're right, we were here all that time.

[Alex's long awkward pause when he realizes Angela means him]

Look, why don't we just go out a couple of times and, uh, you know, get to know each other better and then, uh, maybe go out again and see what happens.

Hey, Alex, aren't you just saying this because I put you on the spot and you're afraid of hurting my feelings? Yeah.

And if I can lose 100 pounds for you, maybe I can lose 150 for somebody with a better nose.

You know, I just wish once we could leave this place together.

Grandma's in center, Grandpa's playing left.

So far, you're the only guy in the garage who knew enough to bend over.

You're fat. Just a second. What did I do with that list?

I prefer to think of myself as portly.

Did you say 'portly' or 'porky'?

el battleshippo wants to talk to you.

or maybe she's eating under an assumed name.

He's the guy wearing the Plymouth.

I had to stand on a garbage can to look in the window.

so I went in the kitchen and ate a turkey.

That blimp?

The reason I didn't go out with Wayne had nothing to do with his weight. No? No, I think he's adorable. So what was the reason? His wife and four kids.

That's cute. Oh, shut up!

Yeah, but from third?

You only got two pitches, Tony... Balls and home runs.

We've got to get back for the second inning.