Bobbys Roommate

Sometimes, I can't find mine for days.

Did you look over in Brooklyn? That's usually where mine turns up.

Jim, your apartment is in Brooklyn. / Again?

When did you ever sleep on my couch? / The night you showed slides from your ski trip.

You look that bad in the morning, huh?

I thought that was Desire Under The Yum Yum Tree. / That's another good one, Ton.

Rub Louie's nose in it.

I insist on telling everybody how wrong I was about you.

Bob has landed the lead in a major New York Broadway production.

starring role in one of the biggest cross-country tours in the history of the American Theater.

Bobby's got a teensy part with a sleazy company in three trailer parks.

I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him!

It's this old interior decorator trick I learned, called cleaning.

Don't seem like you been gone a month. / I've been gone a week. / That feels right.

You smell something funny? / No. / Neither do I.

Quit the tour, huh? / Yeah, I quit. / Got fired. / We're talking semantics here.

You got fired for not waiting till you got there?

I lasted a day in Florida... I spent three days on the bus ride back.

Tony, you call the vice squad. I'm standing watch...

You try anything on her, and I'll kill you. / This is Elaine we're talking about, remember? / Elaine, you try anything on him, and I'll kill you.

I know a girl on a bus who trusted him. Look what happened.

The man's a hound. / Yeah, anywhere, anytime, anything with a pulse.

You think they heard us? / No, I don't think so. Do you? / Hell, yes. Me, too.

Orgies where anything goes. People wandering around naked in public places. Sex that means no more than a handshake on the street.

Call me corny, but I miss those things.

How dumb do you think he is, Wheeler?

You'll be hearing the pitter-patter of little hams in the house.

Like what? / Bobby's career, Bobby's dreams... Bobby. / How did you ever drag all that out of him? / I think I said, 'How are you?'

In my country, it is tradition for a man and woman to live together before they are married. And to make love in every possible way so then they can see if they want to get married after that.

Bobby?

You think she might come on to me?

Well, if not, could you please give her my phone number?

You know, Elaine, you might want to put a robe or two over your negligee.

Hello, Alex, it's Bobby. She's all over me. / Who were you calling this late? / Dad. Good old Dad. / I thought your father passed away. / Well, maybe that will make up for the times I didn't call when he was alive?

'The road to naughty-naughty'? / Come on, Elaine. I'm trying to be delicate about this thing. / You want me to come right out and say it? / O-Okay. I'll come right out and say it... You and I were that far away from doing foo-foo.

You're making me yearn for four-letter words.

It's 3:00 in the morning, Alex. What are you doing here? / I was just out taking a walk. / Barefoot? / Yeah. I, uh... I like the feeling of snow in my toes.

I lost my slippers in a snowbank, see?

That telephone call a few minutes ago, that was to Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, right?

Bobby, the pope does that.

Well, then you two must care a lot.

I mean, I lost a boyfriend. / I lost my job in Florida. / I lost the feeling in eight of my toes.