Alex learns through a wedding notice in the newspaper that his daughter is getting married in New York. Alex is very upset that he hasn't been invited and calls his ex-wife, whose secretary explains that he was specifically not invited. Alex crashes the reception anyway, bringing Elaine with him. Cathy, his daughter, is thrilled to see him and asks why he didn't respond to her invitation. Alex gets angry again and tells off his ex-wife, insulting her weight in the process. Alex eventually feels guilty that he insulted his ex-wife and he pulls her aside and apologizes. They then start to reminisce and soon find that they are still somewhat attracted to each other. When they are about to kiss, Cathy finds them and lets them know how happy she is to see them together and asks them to hug. They do, and everyone is on good terms at the end.
Wedding prep chaos yields steady laughs but lacks standout moments at 1.72 jokes-per-minute.
Directed by James Burrows · Written by Barry Kemp
WAR
21.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Fathers Of The Bride” ranks #105 of 114 Taxi episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 69.9 — Mixed. The episode packs 39 scored jokes at 1.7 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Alex landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Louie: This is Louie Land. America is outside.
Alex: You know, it's amazing. You give your whole life to your kids, and they forget about you.
Alex: Well, I gave two years.
Alex Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Louie: You know what? Forget about kids. They grow up, they forget about you. You want my advice? Grow tomatoes instead.
Louie: At least when a tomato grows up, you can eat it.
Louie Dark/Subversive Observational Alex: Yeah, well, my wife left me because she said I was a failure. So I became a cab driver.
Alex: I guess that was too little, too late.
Alex Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tony: I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I eat, I sleep. Same thing every day.
Bobby: Tony, that's depressing.
Tony: Depressing? Are you kidding? I had it made!
Tony Bobby Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 39 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Tony: I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I eat, I sleep. Same thing every day.
Bobby: Tony, that's depressing.
Tony: Depressing? Are you kidding? I had it made!
Tony Bobby Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Alex: It's a two-way street, Louie.
Louie: What do you mean?
Alex: Well, you ask me a normal human question for once.
Louie: Like what?
Alex: Like, 'Hey Alex, how do you get rid of cockroaches?'
Louie: I haven't seen a cockroach in here in weeks.
Alex: That's great, Louie.
Louie: Yeah, I think I finally got rid of them all.
A cockroach immediately appears.
Louie: Hey, look at that cockroach. You know, Iggy, it looks just like you.
Iggy: What? That's not funny, Louie.
Louie: I'm serious. Same ugly mug, same crooked legs, same pathetic expression.
Louie: This is Louie Land. America is outside.
Alex: So what is it, Louie? What do you know?
Louie: You're jumping around like a frog in heat.
Louie: Alex, I got some bad news for you. Why don't you sit down? Here, put your head on my chest.
Alex: Louie, what's wrong?
Louie: Your mother called. She's not coming to visit.
Louie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Alex: What do you mean she's in the hospital? What happened?
Louie: Relax, Alex. The doctor said it's nothing serious. He said her glands gave her birth.
Alex: Her glands gave her birth?
Louie Alex Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Alex: You know, it's amazing. You give your whole life to your kids, and they forget about you.
Alex: Well, I gave two years.
Alex Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Louie: You know what? Forget about kids. They grow up, they forget about you. You want my advice? Grow tomatoes instead.
Louie: At least when a tomato grows up, you can eat it.
Louie Dark/Subversive Observational Louie: Look at it this way, Alex. You didn't have to pay for the wedding.
Louie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Alex: The mail is delayed because the postal service has to deliver to every address in the country. Do you know how far that is?
Alex: It's 3.6 million miles. Give or take.
Unknown character: I've got statistics that prove it. Seventy-three percent of all cabdrivers in this city have been hit by at least one passenger. And of those, eighty-nine percent were hit on a Tuesday. Furthermore, studies show that redheads are forty-two percent more likely to be involved in a cabfare dispute than any other hair color.
Unknown: Just gave very specific Brazilian budget information
Unknown Callback Character Comedy Callback Alex: Wait a minute... I know what you're doing. You're making up statistics to justify why I shouldn't call her.
Alex: That's the same thing my mother does when she doesn't want me to visit!
Alex Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Callback Tony: Wait, her father gave them an estate? That's wonderful!
Alex: Well, actually it was her stepfather.
Tony: Her stepfather? I thought you said her father gave it to them.
Tony Character Comedy Misdirection Alex: I need to get through to my daughter right away. It's important.
Alex: Every minute I'm not working, I'm losing money. And every minute I'm working, I'm losing my daughter.
Alex Character Comedy Observational Louie: You're going to a wedding with her? That's good, that's good. You soften 'em up at the wedding, get 'em emotional with all that love stuff, then you move in for the kill.
Alex: Louie, that's not how it works.
Louie: Sure it is. Women are like fish. You gotta know when to set the hook.
Louie Character Comedy Running Gag Doorman: There's a separate list specifically for uninvited people
Doorman Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Elaine: Do you have a light?
Doorman: I don't have a cigarette, but I'll give you a light anyway.
Elaine: This is my older brother, Alex. He's very disapproving.
Alex: I'm not her brother.
Elaine: He's in denial.
Alex: Yeah, well, my wife left me because she said I was a failure. So I became a cab driver.
Alex: I guess that was too little, too late.
Alex Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Alex: Phyllis, you've put on a little weight here and there.
Phyllis: Here and there? Alex, it's everywhere!
Alex: Well, yes, but I was trying to be diplomatic.
Alex Escalation Observational Cathy: What are you doing down there by Carlo's feet?
Phyllis: Just adjusting his socks, dear. They were bunched up. A man's comfort is important.
Phyllis: So Alex, tell me about your work. Do you use those fancy meters in your cab?
Alex: Yes, Phyllis, we have taximeters. They measure distance and time.
Phyllis: How absolutely fascinating! And does it have, you know, numbers on it?
Phyllis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Phyllis: A cab driver? Well, I suppose that's very... practical. Though I must say, it's hardly the sort of thing one aspires to. I mean, sitting in a car all day, dealing with common people, no real intellectual stimulation. It's really just operating a vehicle, isn't it? Anyone with a driver's license could do it.
Phyllis Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Alex: I'd like to propose a toast to the happy couple. May you have all the happiness you deserve. And I'd like to say, in all my years, I've never seen a bride look more beautiful, and groom who's gained a ton.
Phyllis: A ton?
Unknown man: No way! You look like you don't know what you're doing!
Phyllis: Oh, maybe he's been taking lessons in secret.
Phyllis Irony/Sarcasm Callback Callback Alex: Phyllis, I'm sorry about what I said.
Phyllis: Well, you should be!
Alex: I know, that's why I'm apologizing.
Phyllis: An apology doesn't change what you said.
Alex: No, but it shows I regret saying it.
Phyllis: You should regret it. You hurt my feelings.
Alex: Which is exactly why I apologized.
Phyllis: Apologizing doesn't un-hurt my feelings!
Alex: Phyllis, can we talk privately for a moment?
Phyllis: You're going to pay for that expensive wedding you weren't invited to.
Phyllis Character Comedy Observational Alex: I'm sorry for what I said about your weight. I was out of line.
Phyllis: Out of line? Alex, you weren't out of line — you were barely in the same zip code as a compliment.
Phyllis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Phyllis: I've gained weight so fast, I had to let out all my dresses. My seamstress said, 'Phyllis, at this rate, I'll have to let out your dresses faster than you can eat.' I said, 'That's impossible!'
Phyllis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Alex: Oh Phyllis, still wearing that same outfit from 1987? I didn't know they still made polyester!
Phyllis: That's it! I am SICK of this! You think you're so funny, but you've been doing this our entire marriage! Mocking me, belittling me, making me feel small!
Alex: Come on, I was just joking around...
Phyllis: No! This stops NOW! Either you respect me or we're done!
Alex: You know, Phyllis, I've thought about you over the years.
Phyllis: I've thought about you too.
Alex: I can tell. I can always read you.
Phyllis: And I can still feel what you're thinking right now.
Alex: See? We haven't lost it.
Phyllis: No, we haven't. We never will.
Phyllis: I'm afraid that after all these years, I've lost my ability to push your buttons.
Danny: Are you kidding? You still push my buttons.
Phyllis: Really? Even now?
Danny: Especially now. Age has made you even more attractive.
Phyllis: You're just saying that.
Danny: No, I mean it. You know what? You push all my buttons. Old buttons, new buttons, buttons I didn't even know I had.
Phyllis Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Phyllis: I've lost some buttons off my blouse and I'm worried no one will notice me without them.
Alex: Don't worry, Phyllis. I'll volunteer to search for those buttons.
Alex Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Callback Cathy: Seeing my parents together is the best wedding gift I could ask for.
Alex: Well, don't look now, but I think they're about to give each other a really special gift.
Alex Cringe/Discomfort Observational Alex Reaction Beat Character Comedy