Elaines Strange Triangle

Well, what about a stranger? Maybe she don't know any strangers. Boy, you got all the answers.

This calls for a celebration. Next round of drinks is on me. No, no, no. I got the part, I insist, I want to pay for my own drink. Not a chance.

Oh, yeah, what do you do? I'm an investment analyst. Wow... An invest... an investment analyst. Uh, small world. Why, are you an investment analyst? Nah, cabdriver.

Why do I feel like I'm watching a game show? Tell us what he's won, Tony.

Oh, do you know what you're putting this poor man through?

5-5-5... 4-2-7... 4-4-2-4. 4-2-7-6. 7-6. Here you go. 5-5... Jim, Jim... we got it.

That's a lie. Not you, Jim... Elaine.

He says you owe a towel fee from April. He's crazy. I didn't shower in April.

Hey, hey. Who are you? Kirk Bradshaw. And who are you? In here, God.

How far did you get? Come on. Come on, a little guy-talk here. Did you hit a home run?

Well, some friend you are, Kirk.

Well, she wasn't the one I was after, Tony.

Oh, no? / [Long pause] No. / [Even longer pause] Oh, no, no, no, no...

The one on the left's the brake. The one on the right's the gas.

You pick me or your butt's flying out of here.

My paisano.

The guy Elaine is going out with just made a pass at me

You're my favorite, Banta!

What do you call one of them questions that didn't happen but you ask it like it really did? Hypothetical?

Well, she's pulled that little trick once too often. I'm going to tell her we're through. Thanks a lot, Tony. I owe you one.

Hello, Tony. Hello? What's the matter? You're too sad to talk? Okay, I do your part for you then. Hello, Tony. Hello, Latka. How you doing there?

Hello, Tony. / Hello? / What's the matter? You're too sad to talk? / Okay, I do your part for you then. Hello, Tony. / Hello, Latka. How you doing there?

Of course. They are very popular in my country. Yeah. Oh, almost everybody have them. And, uh, one of our favorite sports is racing them. And when we are not using them, we have special racks where we chain them up at night.

The office is closed. The doctor is out. Sally doesn't live here anymore.

Alex, I'd like to pass on a compliment. Alex, I've got a woman for you. Alex, I want to give you money. Those are sentences I will listen to.

Well, he said my simplicity was engaging, and that we'd be wonderful together.

I can't be alone with him. I'm the one he spends tortured nights dreaming about. He said that? No. I'm just assuming.

But I've already told Elaine that I'm bisexual. Shh. Oh, okay. It's okay here.

Excuse me. Would you like to dance? Just for the sake of optimism, no, go ahead, I don't mind. No, I meant you.

Alex, Elaine's heart is getting broken. You're having a great time here dancing.

I don't care what you say. I would never dance with that guy. No, not you, you little heartbreaker.

I would never dance with that guy. / No, not you, you little heartbreaker.

Hey, Alex, what's that for? For acting like a jerk. Why doesn't anybody ever tell me about these contests?