Larry makes the tabloids when a woman claims he knocked her into a magazine rack and neglected to apologize.
WAR
72.2
Wins Above Replacement
“A Brush With (the Elbow of) Greatness” ranks #82 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.9 — Elite. The episode packs 76 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Larry Sanders landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Larry Sanders: Larry: 'Please accept it before he describes the ribbon.'
Larry Sanders Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: How would you like to be the guy who watches this all day long? Ten bucks says it's a cable channel by the end of the year.
Hank: That's Cindy Remington, a junior at USC majoring in telecommunications... and I believe she loves horses.
Hank: Would you call beating a man half to death... because he ran out of nondairy creamer abusive? Of course, after you beat a man like that, you know what the next step is. Larry had to make him his bitch.
Larry: I heard a crash... but, you know, a supermarket in LA, I figured it was looting.
Artie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 76 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: Now that sign says "applesauce." No, I'm kidding. It says "applause."
Hank: And now, because I am daffy about this guy and I don't care who knows it...
Larry: Before I go on with the monologue, I have to ask Hank... what is "daffy"? You said you're "daffy about the guy," which scares me. What exactly does "daffy" mean?
Hank: cuckoo about the guy.
Larry: You should get some help.
Larry: I'm getting some immediately after the show. Hope the bars are open.
Larry: Larry Bird retired because he said he realized he was white.
Larry: Not since Neil Bush appeared on television in America's Most Wanted... has a president's son been on television.
Larry: he says that he's going to "come out swinging." Isn't that what got Clinton into trouble?
Artie: Chicks seem to dig his sound.
Larry: "Chicks seem to dig his sound"?
Larry: Artie, I don't wanna keep you. I know you have Twiggy waiting at your pad.
Hank: Does this hat make my ass look fat, by the way?
Artie: Horse-hocky. Everybody looks good in a cowboy hat.
Hank: that obnoxious turd who does that "Hey, Vern" character.
Larry: Oh, that's Ernest.
Artie: He's funny.
Larry: Right. Right. Phone call for me. Better get that.
Jeannie: I thought we agreed that the fishing pole was an outdoor toy.
Larry: You are such a girl, and besides, the shag bass are biting, honey.
Jeannie: What?
Larry: The shag bass.
Jeannie: Put it back.
Larry: Put it back?
Larry: Throw it back into the carpet?
Carol Biederman: You know, he looks thin when you see him on his show... but in real life, he has kind of a gut.
Larry: I had one of those headaches where I get tunnel vision.
Larry: Artichoke hearts? Ever try 'em in a salad?
Artie: They really add zing.
Larry: Don't they?
Larry: Except, instead of a house, it was a supermarket. Instead of Letterman, it was you. Instead of breaking in, she got pushed. Instead of New York, LA. - Instead of a redhead...
Larry: The media should have something better to do than focus on me. That's why I refuse to watch the local news. "Two kittens fell in a well." - Who gives a shit?
Artie: Approximately.
Larry: Approximately not many.
Artie Reaction Beat Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: Would you call beating a man half to death... because he ran out of nondairy creamer abusive? Of course, after you beat a man like that, you know what the next step is. Larry had to make him his bitch.
Artie: I fished a dead bird out of her spa on the Fourth of July. - She owed me a favor.
Artie: How would you like to be the guy who watches this all day long? Ten bucks says it's a cable channel by the end of the year.
Artie: This isn't a fuckin' lending library, lady.
Larry: I heard a crash... but, you know, a supermarket in LA, I figured it was looting.
Artie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Norman: Take it easy. Let that Excedrin work for you.
Norman: This is a publicity bonanza. Gentlemen, I'm wetting myself.
Larry: So what are you saying? That after the monologue, I should scratch my balls and spit?
Artie: You may have a problem there... that's just completely unrelated to the world of publicity.
Norman: and I'm wetting myself again.
Larry: Oh, great. So now everyone in Iraq knows I'm an asshole.
Larry: Yeah, but don't worry. The chairs are Scotchgarded.
Norm Deadpan/Understatement Callback Callback Artie: this is the sort of thing that might have kept Dennis Miller on the air... for another week or two.
Norm Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Tommy Oh: I don't know much about this Sanders guy... but, you know, I don't think Arsenio would do something like this.
but a whole lot of pushing and shoving.
Larry: What's it like not being a celebrity? I mean, you must do a lot of shitty things in your personal life. I bet you bumped into someone in a supermarket.
Norm Character Comedy Absurdist Larry: See, I can't do that. I can't be an asshole.
Writer: That must be real hard for you, Larry.
Unknown Callback Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: You think she would have sold those tapes to Entertainment Tonight... if I wasn't Larry Sanders?
Artie Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Larry: I'll have... Just get me none. Because I'm so wired... I've had so many, I can barely lie still.
Hank: Not buy. Not buy. Forget the food. All we need are the wrappers.
Darlene: Why don't I just go outside and climb into the Dumpster?
Hank: I would never ask you to do that. I'm mean... Hey. You've got your dignity, babe. Remember that.
Larry: I'm vivisecting a choirboy. Why don't you call John Tesh?
Tony Danza: It's me in an apartment alone with a kitty. Bad-luck kitty. The kitty keeps gettin' into trouble. It's a bad-luck kitty, right?
Hank: So let's put these Chicken In A Minute wrappers... from the food that we enjoyed earlier... in the trash, right where it belongs.
Artie: I'm gonna tell everyone out here the nickname you have for your penis.
Artie: The only way you're gonna get better ratings is if you marry Hank on the air.
Larry: God, you're a sick fuck.
Larry: you are twice as attractive in person... as you are on that security camera. It does not do you justice.
Carol: I think you saw me, and I also think that you know what you did. Everybody saw it.
Cindy: And patented, self-regulating Frostbuster technology. It's the future of your kitchen today, and it's only from Antarctic.
Artie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Hank: That's Cindy Remington, a junior at USC majoring in telecommunications... and I believe she loves horses.
Larry: Please accept it before he describes the ribbon.
Artie: Artie tries to lure Larry out: 'Fred Savage is on. His voice is changing. You'll get a lot of fun out of that.'
Artie Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Artie: Artie continues: 'And we've got this great dog who drinks coffee while he smokes a cigarette. You gotta see this to believe it.'
Artie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Unknown: An unseen person impersonating Tony Danza: 'Yo, Angela, how ya doin'? I got a new series to pitch for you. It's me in an apartment alone with a kitty. Bad-luck kitty.' / 'The kitty keeps gettin' into trouble. It's a bad-luck kitty, right?' — answered with 'Bad-luck kitty put a spell on me' / 'Cram it, Jerry.'
Jerry (Staff Member): Hey, everybody, it's Tony Danza. Yo, Angela, how ya doin'? I got a new series to pitch for you. It's me in an apartment alone with a kitty. Bad-luck kitty. The kitty keeps gettin' into trouble. It's a bad-luck kitty, right? Bad-luck kitty put a spell on me.
Hank Kingsley: Cram it, Jerry.
Hank Kingsley: Hank, staging the Chicken In A Minute wrappers in front of Ben Smalley: 'Let's show Ben that we can run a tidy ship here. So let's put these Chicken In A Minute wrappers from the food that we enjoyed earlier in the trash, right where it belongs.'
Hank Kingsley · Larry Sanders: Hank: 'Hey now, Larry. It's your good buddy.' Larry: 'Fuck off, Hank.'
Jeannie · Larry Sanders: Jeannie: 'If you don't open the door in the next five seconds, I'm gonna tell everyone out here the nickname you have for your penis. One...' Larry opens the door.
Larry Sanders · Jeannie Sanders · Artie: I no longer rise. / We should move to Montana. / That's bullshit.
Larry Sanders · Norm · Artie: Norm pitches having Carol on the show to apologize: 'Why not have her on the show and apologize to her?' Larry: 'I swear to Christ, this is brilliant.' Then: 'The only way you're gonna get better ratings is if you marry Hank on the air.' Norm: 'God, you're a sick fuck.' Larry: 'Thank you.'
Larry Sanders: Larry's on-air intro to Carol: 'in continuing the tradition of me not having the smallest corner of my life that isn't open to public scrutiny...'
Larry Sanders: Larry's on-air intro continues: 'fresh from taping A Current Affair and Inside Edition...'
Larry Sanders: Larry to Carol: 'you are twice as attractive in person as you are on that security camera. It does not do you justice.'
Carol Biederman · Larry Sanders: Carol: 'I think you saw me, and I also think that you know what you did. Everybody saw it.' Larry: 'I don't think that's necessarily true that everybody saw it.'
Larry Sanders: Larry presents a refrigerator as the 'token of his apology'
Carol Biederman: Carol: 'I don't think I can accept that until I talk to my attorney. It might be construed as a settlement for my damages.'
Larry Sanders · Artie: Larry: 'Well, gee, if you wanna get your attorneys involved, I certainly can get my lawyer.' Artie (off-stage): 'Easy, easy, big man.'
Artie: Artie (off-stage) reframes the fridge: 'maybe you can help him ease his guilt by accepting a beautiful, beautiful present from Antarctic.'
Artie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Hank Kingsley: Hank takes over the fridge pitch: 'It's a gorgeous freezer. Gorgeous freezer.' / 'I believe it has an automatic ice maker and dual beverage dispensers.' / 'And patented, self-regulating Frostbuster technology.' / 'It's the future of your kitchen today, and it's only from Antarctic.'
Larry Sanders: Larry explains the Vanna White-style model: 'That's Cindy Remington, a junior at USC majoring in telecommunications, and I believe she loves horses.'
Larry Sanders: Larry: 'Please accept it before he describes the ribbon.'
Larry Sanders Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
