A friend of Larry's temporarily replaces Artie as producer but schemes to make the job permanent.
WAR
55.2
Wins Above Replacement
“The New Producer” ranks #35 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.1 — Elite. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 2.5 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Artie: Drink it, or I'll knock you to the floor, step on your neck and piss in that good ear.
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Horseshit! This isn't about those plants. This is about me. I am those plants, goddamn it.
Artie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: swelling it to such a grotesque size that the skull bursts like a ripe honeydew melon. I saw a case like this in Korea once. It was a horrible, painful way to die. Yeah, the screams still haunt me.
Artie Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Phil: Larry is just the kind of asshole to read that and believe it.
Phil Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: I'm always telling you how funny you are... and how well your clothes fit... and how your ass doesn't look fat in pants.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: That sign says "applesauce." No, I'm kidding. It says "applause."
Larry Misdirection Observational Announcer: And now, because he couldn't find the exit door... Larry Sanders!
Larry: Mike Tyson was quoted as saying "I'm in love with myself." Sorry, girls. That's it. That's that joke.
Larry Observational Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch They're using the young Elvis stamp for standard mail and the old Elvis stamp for packages over 300 pounds.
Larry Observational Setup/Punchline Jeff Cesario: Maybe she just didn't tell him where she put his medication.
Larry: Arthur, come back soon. We miss your cigar smoke in the hallway.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Hank: Horseshit. Not once in six years did he ever invite me up on the stage. Horseshit.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Hank: ¿Cómo se dice "horseshit"?
Hank Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: my show is being taken over by a guy who looks and sounds like Vanessa Redgrave
Hank Character Comedy Observational Larry: What's with Phil's fucking nose?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Sam: She isn't. Let's just leave it at that.
Sam Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Larry: Maybe you're too easily rocked.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: Does this mean we have to start wearing jumpsuits because I think only Hank has one?
Larry Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: If there's one thing I'm known for, it's my complete discretion.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Sam: She tried to kill herself with an overdose of Halcion. She's okay. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
Sam Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Callback Sam: This business will do that to you.
Sam Dark/Subversive Observational Writer: It was right on Larry's desk, right in a folder under some papers, in a drawer that was locked. Finding the key was a bitch.
Unfortunately, Phil's social maladjustment runs so deep that he is unpredictable and volatile. My guess is that he talks badly about Larry behind his back.
Phil: Larry is just the kind of asshole to read that and believe it.
Phil Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Beverly: Now I'm sorry I made copies of this for everybody.
Hank is very sensitive about his age. He's only 34.
Writer Character Comedy Absurdist Darlene: It's not actually here but it should be.
Darlene Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Set designer: I went through this same shit once with Sajak.
Larry: Very funny. Very fuckin' funny.
Larry Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Larry: I think you can never have enough vegetation. Ask Sting.
Larry Absurdist Observational Hank: Oh, my God, we've been canceled.
Hank Character Comedy Escalation Hank: Is Artie dead? Go ahead. Go ahead. I can take it.
Hank Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Hank: That's an insult. I'm not acting dumb. I don't know what memo.
Hank Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Hank Running Gag Character Comedy Callback Larry: Do you believe this shit?
Larry Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Larry: What do I need, a fuckin' security camera? I covered that on page three of the memo.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Jonathan: Maybe the fucking coffee will become a little bit hotter. From my own experience, fear is a great motivator.
Larry: Think I'm attractive and a great dancer, fine. But let's draw the line there.
Larry Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Artie: it looks like an old Tarzan movie.
Artie: Horseshit! This isn't about those plants. This is about me. I am those plants, goddamn it.
Artie Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: Phone the agent. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
Hank Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: He fired me from that QE2 Fourth of July special.
Hank Character Comedy Observational Larry: Bullshit. You've gotten an earring to make yourself look younger. What have you done to your nipples?
Larry Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: And the left ear is the gay ear. When you wear it low like that, it means you're catching, not pitching.
Larry Observational Cringe/Discomfort Larry: Catching, not pitching.
Larry Running Gag Cringe/Discomfort Callback Hank: Call me an ambulance.
Hank Reaction Beat Physical/Slapstick Artie: It's Demerol, you ass, and tequila. It's a good mix.
Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Artie: If somebody farts in the Xerox room, I've heard about it.
Artie Observational Character Comedy Artie: I guarantee you there's nothing in there.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Artie: Drink it, or I'll knock you to the floor, step on your neck and piss in that good ear.
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Never get sick. If there's one cardinal rule in show business, it's 'Never get sick.' It's when you're down, when you show the slightest weakness, that they slip that knife in your back.
Artie Observational Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Artie: I have to admire that little Iago... Jonathan Littman.
Artie Character Comedy Observational Hank: Do you think I skew to an older demographic?
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Artie: You want to sit there while Kathie Lee prattles on in your good ear about how Frank hates to change Cody's poopy diapers?
Artie Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Hello, you worthless piece of shit!
Artie Character Comedy Escalation Artie: "Cousins Will Fuck" is the first topic.
Artie Absurdist Dark/Subversive Artie: Yeah, but that knife was wielded by a relative stranger.
Artie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: swelling it to such a grotesque size that the skull bursts like a ripe honeydew melon. I saw a case like this in Korea once. It was a horrible, painful way to die. Yeah, the screams still haunt me.
Artie Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Artie: You just want people that fear... suck up to you!
Artie Character Comedy Escalation Larry: Hank just threw up in my wastebasket.
Larry Physical/Slapstick Reaction Beat Jonathan: but my enthusiastic and aggressive interest in taking his job and producing this show.
Jonathan Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Sam Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Larry: Have I ever told you, Jon, I can't stand the way you talk?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Larry: Obviously you guys don't know about my Chinese weatherman. It's "fleezing"!
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: Remember you held my head?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: We're facing east, so it's actually the sun rising.
Larry Character Comedy Observational Larry: I do it because... I love you, you bastard.
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: I'm always telling you how funny you are... and how well your clothes fit... and how your ass doesn't look fat in pants.
Larry Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Man, you guys sure have a lot of fuckin' plants on this set.
Morton Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
