Another List

and now, because Larry's home catching up on his sex, Jon Stewart.

Jon Stewart:So I was thinking, 'hey, Why not just save the money And go out with tori spelling?'

Hank:I just feel like A wet burlap bag Full of monkey shit.

Larry:Well, that came across.

Network Executive:You know, that's How you get the flu. You could wear Rubber gloves.

Larry:That's true, And then I could, uh, Check their prostates, too.

Network Executive:We'd get more Of er's audience.

Hank:Why are you fucking With me like this? 'Hey now' is My catch phrase. I own it.

Network Executive:47%.

Network Executive:And, like the limited Mcrib sandwich-- Scrumptious, hot, And hard to get.

Beverly:Larry, she's never Done a nude scene.

Larry:Is he retarded?

Beverly:No. He works In a shoe store. He looks just like you.

Paul Fisher:This is like A wet dream come true.

Hank:Well, that's why We have the tarp.

Larry:What's it called? What-- uh... This song? Yeah. It's called, uh, this is track 3.

Winona Ryder:I'm not funny Or interesting, So I hope that's not Going to be a problem.

Larry:Well, that Hasn't stopped Hank.

Jon Stewart:I think last night One of the actors From melrose place Threw up on my door.

Roger:Ah, you're so fucking great. I love it.

Hank:That's funny. I thought I was the 'hey now' guy. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Paul Fisher:Not in valencia, my friend.

Artie:You don't have to run. What if you just walk Through the audience? You walk. It doesn't Have to look like A fucking telethon.

Larry:It's like A shooting gallery.

Artie:Well, i'll just run home And bring back My 7 mil. Remington mag.

Hank:He has colon cancer. I've got-- He's dying.

Artie:You're all fucking crazy.

Hank:I am nothing like that-- That sick fuck. He is a pathetic, Annoying nobody, And I am-- I am Hank fucking Kingsley.

Phil:I'm sorry. Did I forget To say now?

Winona Ryder:Everything's fine, Except I don't want To talk about the aliens Under water stuff. I'm so sick Of talking about that.

Hank:And you can go around, And you can say, 'Hey now' till Your dick falls off. But you know what, paul? That does not make you me!

Paul Fisher:I mean, with The show ending. What? You haven't heard?

Hank:Jon Stewart is Taking over for Larry.

Jon Stewart:But didn't inhale.

Jon Stewart:Um, would you want to go out And get a bite to eat later? You know, maybe You want to pussy hunt?

Hank:And now, because The charges were dropped, Larry Sanders!