Insane Clown Poppy

Homer:D'oh! [Screams]

Bart · Homer:This watermelon won't know what hit it. I love our Tuesdays together, Dad.

Homer · Bart:Hey, we just took care of that dangerous melon that was threatening our garden. Yeah. We're heroes. But where's our parade?

Homer · Marge:It's hopeless. - Or is it? - Yeah, it's hopeless. - I said, 'Or is it?' I said, 'It-' Oh.

Homer · Marge:Listen, do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast? Well, like all Americans, fast. But- Clear!

Marge:Hmm. Well, you can't argue with results.

Homer:Target date: January 2007.

Homer:Fire in the hole! Hmm. It's gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up.

Homer:Uh, honey, there's a point in every father's life... when he blows up his daughter's room.

Marge · Homer:Oh, yeah? You didn't blow up Maggie's room. - [Explosion]

Lisa · Homer:It is my birthday! - That's the spirit. Now what do you want to do?

Homer:Stupid Lisa.

Homer:Mmm! These stigmuffins are to die for.

Reverend Lovejoy:Oh, if you like that, you should try Mary Magdalene's Chocolate Orgasm.

Stephen King:He discovered electricity and used it to torture small animals and green mountain men. And that key he tied to the end of a kite? It opened the gates of hell!

Salesman:you can absorb books instantly by attaching this electrode to the brainpan... and this one to the... loins!

Customer · Diet book author:And you lose weight? - Uh, you might. It's a free country.

Various:Network Programming for Dummies. Christianity for Dummies. Mo- Moby Dick? 'Call me Ishmael, dummy.'

Marge · Christopher Walken:Look, Maggie, Christopher Walken's reading Goodnight Moon. 'Good night, room. Good night, moon. Good night, cow jumping over the moon.'

Christopher Walken:Please, children, scooch closer. Don't make me tell you again about the scooching. You in the red, chop-chop. Hmm.

Person · Maya Angelou:Maya Angelou is black? - It is a Mach-five child... forever bound to suckle from the shriveled breast of Congress.

Amy Tan · Fan:No. That's not what I meant at all. You couldn't have gotten it more wrong. But- Please, just sit down. I'm embarrassed for both of us.

Krusty:Whoa, whoa. I didn't ask for your life story.

Krusty:Hey, this pen's gotta last me all day! Now if you could bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, yeah.

Krusty:Hey, this pen's gotta last me all day! Now if you could bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, yeah.

Sophie · Krusty:My name is Sophie. - Hey, good luck with that. - I'm your daughter. - What?

Krusty:Ohh! I think I just 'seltzered' myself.

Krusty:Shut up, Updike!

Krusty · Sophie:Was your mother an Israeli flight attendant? - No. - Cokie Roberts? - No, she was a soldier. Chestnut brown hair, kind of shy, 32 confirmed kills-

Krusty:Saddam Hussein? They should call him 'So-Damn-Insane!'

Soldier:Hey! You're just fanning the flames of hatred!

Krusty:Maybe it was the anthrax in the air. Maybe it was the fact the Arab women weren't bitin'. Whatever it was, it was magic.

Krusty:You can't kill Saddam! He's half my act!

Krusty:I just saved my baseball bit. 'Who-say-in's on first, lya-toll-ya's on second and-' Aah!

Sophie:All Mom ever said was my father was some pathetic clown. So I typed 'pathetic clown' into a search engine and your name popped right up.

Krusty:What's wrong with your eyes? You need a Claritin or something?

Homer:So how's Maude Flanders doing up there? She playin' the field? Ooh! Yeah, really? All those guys?

Krusty:Listen, kid, I'm not the kind of dad who, you know, does things... or says stuff, or looks at you, but the love is there.

Krusty:Ohh! I gotta sit up now? Ohh! What am I, Baryshnikov? Ohh!

Sophie:You know, for a clown, you're not really a lot of fun.

Ned Flanders:Hey, uh, careful, boys. That arch is looking a little Romanesque.

Ned Flanders:No, Son. You let 'em finish, then you smash it. That's a good boy.

Homer:Well, I won't lie. Fatherhood isn't easy- like motherhood- but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Except for some mag wheels. Oh, man. That would be sweet.

Homer:What were we talking about? Ooh, a clown! [Chuckles]

Krusty:I thought I was on! When was I off? That bit about the tide pool? I tell ya, it killed at Jacques Cousteau's funeral.

Krusty:No. I guess musical talent skips a generation, like diabetes. You might want to watch out for that too.

Krusty:No. I guess musical talent skips a generation, like diabetes. You might want to watch out for that too.

Krusty:I think I'll go somewhere friendlier, like beautiful downtown Grozny.

Krusty:My little girl's sharp as a tack. I tried the 'got your nose' bit on her, didn't fool her for a second.

Fat Tony:My uncle still has my nose.

Krusty · Fat Tony:A weema-way A weema-way - Don't do that.

Devil/Krusty's conscience:Do it, do it do it, do it - She'll never know

Fat Tony · Krusty:Well, it won't bring much cash, but its sentimental value's through the roof. It is acceptable.

Sophie · Krusty:This is a ukulele. - Yeah, the thinking man's violin. Check it out.

Krusty:Wait! Time out! Four aces is not a gamble.

Teen characters:Word on the street is you dumped Dawson. He's history, Jenda. Wait till he sees me with that new exchange student. Hola, Harmony. ¿Que es el dilly-yo?

Lisa · Bart:I'm all for ethnic diversity, but this is just pandering. Maybe so. But Dawson's gonna be bummed.

Homer:It's some kind of Mafia summit! Every mob family in the country's here. The Cuomos, the Travoltas, the Lasordas, the Boyardees.

Mobster 1 · Mobster 2:Hey, I heard there's a lunar eclipse tonight. Maybe we should look up. Nah. For me it's solar or nothin'.

Mob guard:Nah. For me it's solar or nothin'.

Fat Tony:We've narrowed it down to either Johnny Tightlips or Frankie the Squealer.

Frankie the Squealer:Okay, it's me! I can't help it! I just like squealin'! It makes me feel big!

Frankie · Legs:Did you know Fat Tony's real name is Marion? You just don't get it, do ya?

Paramedic · Johnny Tightlips:Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit you? I ain't sayin' nothin'. But what do I tell the doctor? Tell him to suck a lemon.

Sophie · Krusty:Small bills, unmarked and nonsequential. Holy samolians! There must be five grand in there! Oh, which I intentionally put in there for you.

Fat Tony · Homer · Legs:That's him! That's the one! Homer Simpson! - I said I was sorry. - All right. Fair enough. - Class act.

Homer:Sorry you're such jerks! Ha, ha! [Screams] Ow! That bullet went in!

Krusty:Shut up, Updike!