Homer And Neds Hail Mary Pass

Marge · Cat Lady · Homer:Aren't you that crazy Cat Lady? Yes, I am. But thanks to this psychoactive medication, I enjoy brief moments of lucidity. Those are just Reese's Pieces.

Homer:Oh, I've only got a hundred dollars. I better bid shrewdly. First up is this video camera. One hundred dollars! $100 and 50 cents! Sold! Damn it!

Bart · Homer:Check it out, Fat-wad! I'm better than you, and I'm only ten. Fat-wad! I love it!

Homer:I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine, so kiss my behind!

Homer:My son flips frogs like a girl! Yeah! A-boo, a-bah, a-who's your daddy?

Marge · Homer:Homer, do fries come with that shake? Sure do.

Ned Flanders:He makes me look cool. And cool I am not.

Comic Book Guy:Boxer shot by wife. Beauty pageant diarrhea. Here's a new one: Big-ass Baryshnikov.

Italian tourist:Look at the American computer monkey! Dance-a, monkey, dance! Basta, basta. Take-a my picture with the Internet marmaluke-a!

Lisa · Marge:The Internet wasn't created for mockery. It was supposed to help researchers at different universities share data sets. It was.

Deion Overstreet:I played the gentle giant, 'Stay-off-drugs-ia.'

Homer · Deion:'L' is for 'loser' Which describes you, sir Don't try to stop me Just enjoy the view, sir. 'The view, sir.' Then show ass. Got it.

Homer:Don't forget showboating. That's the cornerstone of my 'Pyramid of Success.'

Jimmy · Grandpa:Grandpa, will you take me fishin'? Sorry, Jimmy, your Grandma and I are going to go have old-people sex.

Rod or Todd Flanders:Daddy, if Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve's only children, how did they make more babies? Did they make babies with their mother? Or with each other?

Ned Flanders:Your mouth is hopin' for a soapin', boy. Now stop asking silly questions and go kill your brother!

Homer:You're going down, you potato-eatin' pansy!

Ned Flanders:I happen to know that the person inside that leprechaun suit is a single mother.

Homer · Timmy Thomas:Deion, this is Timmy Thomas. He has Timmy Thomas disease.

Homer · Lenny:Lenny, can I move you from Wednesday at noon to Sunday at 6:00? Homer, you know that's when I play with neighborhood dogs.

Reverend Lovejoy:What the... Oh, I get it.

Professor Frink:It turned me from an atheist to a hurray-theist!

Professor Frink:I would pay to see it again and again and again and again, but not six times.

Random person · Wallet owner:Here's some guy's wallet. I am that guy!

Mr. Burns:And I've been looking for a way to launder the money I made selling club soda as flu vaccine.

Marge:He left out all the good times Cain and Abel had when they were growing up.

Bart:And sexy! King David stole someone else's wife, Mary Magdalene was a hooker...

Homer:I didn't know you could talk!

LeBron James · Lisa:I'm sorry, but I do not understand English. Wait a second. I've read that you speak excellent English. Shut up, kid. I got a good thing going here.

Reverend Lovejoy:Oh, I already do, if by 'razzle' you mean 'piety' and by 'dazzle' you mean 'Scriptural accuracy.'

Homer:What a tool.

King Solomon actor:Wait a minute. I killed a baby. I'm a monster!

Ned Flanders:I guess you'd rather see a film about a liberal European wizard school or the latest sexcapade of Miss Ashley Judd.

Ned:I guess you'd rather see a film about a liberal European wizard school or the latest sexcapade of Miss Ashley Judd.

Protestors · Mr. Burns:Solar. Hydroelectric. A mix of conservation and wind. Who told you about those? A talking tree in a commercial.

Sports anchor:Tonight, the Clipper and the Stripper, a Jones that's Chipper, and did Joe Torre shoot Flipper?

Homer:This is either about me or steroids.

Homer:I'm the worst thing to happen to sports since Fox.

Homer:Maybe he can tell me how to get this off. It soaked through to the other side.

Football Commissioner:Plus, we're making millions in player fines, which I'm going to use to bankroll a musical about The J. Geils Band!

Homer · Commissioner:You suckers! I would've done it for free! Fine, do it for free. Damn it! Well, I'll still do it. Suckers. I would've paid you. Fine, pay us! Oh, damn it! Will you take a check? No! Damn it!

Homer · NFL officials:You suckers! I would've done it for free! Fine, do it for free. Damn it! Well, I'll still do it. Suckers. I would've paid you. Fine, pay us! Oh, damn it! Will you take a check? No! Damn it!

Narrator:...to the marriage of PacMan and Ms. PacMan in Super Bowl XVI...

Homer:Oh, every single Super Bowl halftime show has been great

Ned Flanders:I'm like Michael Moore, except I'm skinny, my jeans are washed, and God loves me.

Homer:Have you tried checking the oil filter?

Homer:Yeah. You help me, and I, in turn, am helped by you.

Sports announcer:and it's scheduled for demolition early next month. America's priorities are a joke.

Sports announcer:But don't stop watching. In the second half, points count double.

TV announcer · Moe:How could you afford this? I hustled a lot of pool. Uh, hey, you want to play? I got to warn you, I ain't that good.

Michelle Kwan:I left the People's Republic for this?

Angry parent:You try to raise your kids as secular humanists, but these showbiz types keep shoving religion down our throats!

Deion · Homer:Omelets for dinner? This is the best day of my life. Really? Didn't you just sign a $90 million contract? That was a good day, too.

Homer:I should've just sent a crocodile into space like I originally planned.

LeBron James · Homer:Omelets for dinner? This is the best day of my life. Really? Didn't you just sign a $90 million contract? That was a good day, too.