After the family successfully protest against a stamp museum being built next to their house, a cemetery is built near the Simpson house instead, making the normally unflappable Lisa realize that someone as smart as her can be afraid of something.
WAR
47.1
Wins Above Replacement
“The Girl Who Slept Too Little” ranks #197 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.1 — Elite. The episode packs 52 scored jokes at 3.3 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Marge: You see, sweetie, when a mommy and daddy are married for years and have nothing new to talk about, they bad-mouth their closest friends.
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Milton Burkhart: I wanted to be a children's book illustrator ever since Playboy wouldn't publish my cartoons because they were too filthy.
Marge · Homer: What ever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'? / I think they killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals.
Marge Homer Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: What a lousy party! I don't care what apu was in a past life, in this life, he's a blabbermouth! And that Dr. Hibbert was so boring. 'Homer, we've got to get that lump checked out.' 'Homer, we must discuss your test results.' 'Homer, we've got to find you a donor.'
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Lisa · Dr. Nick: Bye, Dr. Nick. / Bye, Lisa. And remember, you have a checkup next thursday. / We don't go to you anymore. We have a better doctor. / Oh, congratulations!
All Jokes — 52 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Flanders: What are they cock-a-doodily doing?
Flanders Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Flanders: Flanders, I can't listen to your crap before my coffee. / Okily-dokily, here's some french roast.
Flanders · Homer: Now, I'll go make toast. / Stupid best friend flanders.
Lisa · Bart: Stamps? Those are for snail mail! / Stamps rule! I mean suck!
Marge · Homer: What ever happened to 'please' and 'thank you'? / I think they killed each other. You know, one of those murder-suicide deals.
Marge Homer Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge: The noise is jiggling my grapes to the bottom of the jell-O.
Marge Visual Gag Character Comedy Homer: What man would want you now?
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Seven, four, three, one... oh, wait, that's my pin number.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Unknown soldier: 'come home from Iraq,' my wife says. 'Fallujah's too dangerous,' my wife says.
Homer · Character: You know, why didn't you just say 'stamp collectors'? / 'Cause I'm tired of dumbing myself down for you.
News anchor: The postal service is sending a change of address card... to itself.
Homer: When I die, you can mourn me from the bathroom. That's multitasking.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lisa: I don't even like watching the count on sesame street. One coconut, two coconuts, three coconets...
Lisa Character Comedy Misdirection Homer: Go back to your own country!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Bart · Lisa: Then the zombies will eat you first, and you won't have to watch them eat us. / Thanks for making me feel better. / Well, thanks for making me feel better, knowing that your screams when the zombies chomp your brains will warn me so I can get away.
Bart Lisa Dark/Subversive Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa · Bart: There's no such thing as zombies! / Glad to hear you say that, because the person who doesn't believe in zombies is always the first to get feasted upon.
Lisa Bart Setup/Punchline Meta/Self-Referential Marge · Homer: So that's why I've been smelling margaritas at 3:00 A.M. / Hey, I love waking up drunk in the morning.
Homer · Bart: Wait a minute, there's no batteries in this thing. / I needed them for my remote-control helicopter.
Homer · Homer: There's a little plastic man in your hair, and I'm trying to rescue him. / No soldier left behind.
Homer: Lisa, when you've sustained as many blows to the head as I have, consistency is something, something that something... / I love you, Bart.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Lenny · Homer: Hey, Simpsons. That'll be 40 bucks. / Oh, I thought it was 20! / Yeah, that's per axle. Park over there in Carl four. No early outs.
Lenny: Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button!
Lenny Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Lenny · Homer · Marge: Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button! You guys need water? / No one's gonna pay a buck to drink water from your hose, so... / Pay the man, Homer.
Lenny Leonard: Living next to the stamp museum is making me a mint! I bought a diamond for my belly button!
Homer: Yeesh! Butter face.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Alexander Graham Bell: You stole it from me, Elisha Gray. Read the patent number, bitch!
Homer: You read a book all the way through? Why?
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Commercial narrator: Is this the land of the wild beasts? / No, this is the land of the wild feasts! The Hillside Wrangler steak house!
Commercial characters: And I'm jumbo shrimp! Maximum two servings! / That's bull... Man!
Milton Burkhart: I wanted to be a children's book illustrator ever since Playboy wouldn't publish my cartoons because they were too filthy.
Gravedigger Billy: I've been digging graves for 30 years, and I've never buried anyone alive. If I did, they'd ring this bell. / Well, that's just the wind. / Oh, that's just a tree branch, with a nice watch on it!
Homer: What a lousy party! I don't care what apu was in a past life, in this life, he's a blabbermouth! And that Dr. Hibbert was so boring. 'Homer, we've got to get that lump checked out.' 'Homer, we must discuss your test results.' 'Homer, we've got to find you a donor.'
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Marge: You see, sweetie, when a mommy and daddy are married for years and have nothing new to talk about, they bad-mouth their closest friends.
Marge Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa · Homer: What has two ears but can't hear? / Grandpa! / Tragically, yes.
Homer · Marge: But don't be surprised if a snuggle monster shows up. / Well, I hope he's accompanied by the 'how was your day' monster and the 'foot rub' monster, and the 'let me just....' / don't worry, he's not showing up.
Marge · Homer: What about Bart's bedroom? / You know that race car bed I made him? The brakes are shot.
Lisa: Mom, I think there's a danger this time they might lose the ponderosa.
Lisa Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Homer: Why you very little...!
Homer Visual Gag Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Therapist · Marge · Homer: Well worth the $4,000. / $4,000? / Now, Marge, when our little girl's happiness is at stake... / Run, Marge! Start the car!
Therapist · Homer: I'm not chasing you, Mr. Simpson. / And you won't! Unless you can leap through fire!
Security Guard: I don't work here. I was just visiting another security guard that died. Bye, now.
Lisa · Dr. Nick: Hi, Dr. Nick. / Hi, everybody! / I mean, I'm not dr. Nick. I'M... Dr. Octopus. I'm going to get you, spidey. Then I will have upside-down kiss with Mary Jane.
Lisa · Dr. Nick: Bye, Dr. Nick. / Bye, Lisa. And remember, you have a checkup next thursday. / We don't go to you anymore. We have a better doctor. / Oh, congratulations!
Chief Wiggum: You know, I actually got into law school, but I just couldn't afford it. / Quiet, I hear something. / Yeah, that's my life slipping away.
Homer · Marge: Don't worry, we're not evil spirits! / Although, we were evil spirits, we'd probably assume the shape of your parents.
Slime Monster: I don't know how I reproduce, but we'll have a great time figuring it out.
Monster · Lisa: For god's sake, girl, you're eight years old. It's natural for you to feel scared sometime. / But I'm too smart to get scared.
Monsters · Lisa: You could just draw the blinds, you silly goose. / Or get a night-light. / My dad says they're too expensive. / For god's sake, they're four bucks apiece.
Monsters · Lisa: You could just draw the blinds, you silly goose. / Or get a night-light. / My dad says they're too expensive. / For god's sake, they're four bucks apiece.
Slime monster: What is it about slime that chicks don't dig?
Monsters: We're always just a concussion away!
Lou · Chief Wiggum: Uh, chief, it's light out. You can open your eyes and come down. / I don't want to, Lou! / I've got a pizza bagel for you. / Let's roll.
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