Selma and Grampa embark on a May-December romance, and Bart and Lisa get into trouble with deliverymen over cardboard boxes.
WAR
33.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Rome Old And Juli Eh” ranks #193 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.2 — Elite. The episode packs 49 scored jokes at 4.3 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Grampa: You know, I was voted best kisser in my P.O.W. camp.
Grampa Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grampa: All right, lips, man your kissing stations. This is not a drill.
Grampa Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Selma: Well, if he dies in my arms, I could meet a cute paramedic.
Selma Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grampa: At my age, and with your drawbacks, we can't afford to miss an opportunity.
Grampa Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Homer: It's like an old sea turtle dating a suitcase that fell out of a plane.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 49 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: I feel like I'm back in wooden times!
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Wow, the graphics are amazing. That ball almost seems real!
Bart Irony/Sarcasm Observational Homer: What the...? But I thought bankruptcy was the cool law! The one that says 'Dude, don't worry about it. I got this.'
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer · Judge: Permission to moan? / I'll allow it.
Homer: Of course, you idiot, 'cause I'm wishing for more money.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Financial Officer · Homer: Three subscriptions to Vanity Fair? / I've got three bathrooms, don't I?
Homer: Shut up! It's an instructional website! Shut up!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Grampa: You promised me I could die here!
Grampa Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: I saw you doing a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle in there.
Homer Observational Absurdist Homer: To save gas, I'm Flintstone-ing the car.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Visual Gag Homer Physical/Slapstick Reaction Beat Visual: Keep Cool With Coolidge / Lilian Gish in Broken blossoms
Visual Visual Gag Observational ★ Rewatch Visual: A.S.S. American Shipping Services Not affiliated with the human ass
Bart · Ned: Could a kid like me get these boxes, then use them for whatever he wanted? / Only if he fibbed about his name, age, and occupation on this automated 800 number.
Bart Ned Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Marge: Nothing like un-tossing a leftover salad.
Marge Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort Grampa: Hands off, you big blue Buttinski!
Grampa Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Marge: Blood, bile, spinal fluid, blood, other, phlegm, miscellaneous ooze...
Homer Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Selma · Homer: Maybe it's the bang-up job he did raising you. / He was a great dad. Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents.
Selma · Grampa: I know what you're wondering. How come a single woman with so much to offer is alone on a Saturday night. / I assumed you were resting up for bingo tomorrow, like me.
Selma: My numbers don't get called much these days.
Selma: Wow, that's the first time anyone's ever put an adjective before calling me a thing.
Selma Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grampa: You know, I was voted best kisser in my P.O.W. camp.
Grampa Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Selma: Well, if he dies in my arms, I could meet a cute paramedic.
Selma Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Grampa: All right, lips, man your kissing stations. This is not a drill.
Grampa Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer · Selma: Ah! A bear is eating my father! / I'm Selma. / Ah! A talking bear is eating my father!
Grampa: I'm a little shaky on when and where, but I got my theories.
Grampa Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Homer: Oh, why did I borrow that roof from him?
Homer Callback Character Comedy Callback Phone Representative: Are you run by dogs or for dogs? Actually, don't answer. I like not knowing.
Bart · Lisa · Bart: 'Build a fart.' I love it. / Fort. That's 'build a fort.' / That might work, too.
Grampa: At my age, and with your drawbacks, we can't afford to miss an opportunity.
Grampa Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Grampa: Slow down, you hussy.
Grampa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Is she really going out with him? Is she really gonna take him home tonight?
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Homer: It's like an old sea turtle dating a suitcase that fell out of a plane.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge · Homer: Like how the parts of a pig nobody wants combine to make a yummy hot dog. / Oh, now you're dragging hot dogs into this. Real classy, Marge. Real classy.
Grampa: We wrote that joke in the water. It wasn't all frolicking.
Grampa Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Homer: Don't those two gargoyles know that love is for good-looking young people?
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Barney: Well, gee, Homer, you, uh, ain't exactly open-casket material yourself.
Barney Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Patty · Homer: Look, if you want to break up your father and Selma, I have a plan. But it involves you. / Okay, but I'm not good at details. Or the big picture. I also show up late. And drunk.
Ned · Bart · Ned: Lower the drawbridge! / What's the password? / I love my sister.
Ned · Bart · Ned: I shall go, but I will return with an army of my brethren and together we shall take back what is ours and Hell will rain down upon you! / What if we're not here? / We will come two more times, and then you'll have to come to our customer center.
Ned: It's near the airport, where the old Crown Books used to be.
Ned Observational Character Comedy Homer: Hola, I am Esteban de la Sexface. That means 'Stephen of the Sexface.'
Homer Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Patty: Okay, now let's prepare our mental images so we can kiss each other without barfing.
Patty Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Homer: Dos Selmas? Ay-yi-yi!
Homer Visual Gag Wordplay/Pun Homer: I guess I always dreamed that my father would grow old alone.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer Callback Character Comedy Lisa · Homer: Dad, don't throw rice, it makes the birds swell up! / Oh, Lisa, that's one of those rumors you get off the Internet.
Homer: Nothing solves everything forever like a wedding.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
