The Simpsons decide to embrace a cheaper, alternate source of energy by erecting a wind turbine in their backyard. But when Homer realizes some of the power is being directed to the local electric company, he decides to remove his home from the grid and becomes completely dependent upon an unreliable source of power. Meanwhile, a storm erupts, trapping a magnificent 150-foot-long blue whale ashore, and Lisa and Homer attempt to help the poor creature.
WAR
24.2
Wins Above Replacement
“The Squirt And The Whale” ranks #517 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 70.6 — Solid. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.1 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: so I got you a pet that will never die. An invisible dog.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: The wind may have stopped working, but my brain nev... ...er does.
Homer: He's young, he's got two cute kids. He'll be moving in with a sexy lady octopus in no time.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: Ooh, a baby whale. My diet is working.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Why couldn't I be eaten by a giraffe? That would be fun.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Commercial narrator: I love you, Romeo! I love you, Julie-x! Tic-tac-noooo!
Commercial narrator: From the producers of Duck, Duck Goose, Got Your Nose and One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Homer: I'm not made of money! I'm made of man-meat and a skeleton!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: vampire appliances that plunge their prongs into our creamy white outlets to quench their unholy thirst for electrons
Homer Absurdist Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Homer: Lamp, computer, Jacob's Ladder...
Homer Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa: Are you calling me fat? No.
Homer: Where there's expos, there's free Frisbees!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Santa's Little Helper: Do they think I'm like an idiot? I'm going to enjoy poong on their carpet.
Homer: A churro you can eat in the shower?
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Danish wind power salesman: Goddag, friendlys. Behold to you-- wind!
Homer: Well, I'm not usually one to take the word of a Dane.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Danish salesman · Homer: It will pay for itself in 12 to 18... Months? Lifetimes.
Danish salesman: Too late. Lars got the twine.
Homer: Yup, I Al-Gored it pretty good.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Observational Homer: Oh, that's just great. I discover electricity, and they want to take it from me!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Sports announcer: The kite's best friend, the flag's partner in patriotism, you've seen cherubs blow it from map corners-- the wind!
Barney: Yeah, blow me some sports!
Barney Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort Crowd: 'O'er the ramparts we' what?!
Crowd Observational Reaction Beat Homer: Who turned off the wind?
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: From now on, the Simpsons are living... intermittently.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Homer: The wind may have stopped working, but my brain nev... ...er does.
Lisa: But, Dad, it defeats the purpose if you're powering our windmill with the electricity from Flanders.
Lisa Observational Irony/Sarcasm Flanders: But we haven't read the minutes of last week's meeting!
Flanders Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Bart: I'm trying to hear Dr. House's third incorrect diagnosis before his final correct diagnosis!
Bart Observational Meta/Self-Referential Homer: Dear Lord, you've got the wind I need, I've got the prayers you crave. Let's make a deal.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: Nothing is ever right for you.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Marge: If you see a downed power line, do whatever it is people are supposed to do in that situation.
Marge Character Comedy Observational Bart: I'm gonna have my next birthday party on this thing.
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Bart: Check it out! World's biggest armpit fart.
Bart Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Comic Book Guy · Milhouse: Why should we? / Yeah, where was that whale when my mom moved out?
Milhouse: Never tell a bully you're afraid.
Homer: Man, who are these belts made for, French super models?
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer · Lisa: Haven't you learned anything from watching Bart drive? / A little.
Homer: It's not like it's stuck in the bottom of a well or in a Mexican prison. But that would make a great movie.
Homer: We're busting him out of prison, no matter what you say, Escobar! God, this thing writes itself.
Homer Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential Callback Homer · Homer: We'll need the town's strongest men to roll the whale back in the water. / Hmm. We need a better idea.
Homer · Lisa: We'll have to find our ten smartest men. / It's hard to believe anyone in that contest can be considered smart.
Comic Book Guy: It's hard to believe anyone in that contest can be considered smart.
Chief Wiggum: It's hard to believe anyone in that contest can be considered smart.
Homer: No, no, you're gonna like it. It's about the ocean.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's being killed.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Bart: If that flattened squirrel we poked last week could only see us now.
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Mayor · Chief Wiggum: Could you please stop dynamiting?! Sorry. I sat on the plunger.
Comic Book Guy: Behold, I am Captain Kirk from Star Trek One. Two. Five. Generations. Boston Legal.
Homer: so I got you a pet that will never die. An invisible dog.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: Hey! Not on the rug! You bad dog! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Stop biting my leg!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Absurdist Homer: Finally silenced that mournful wail.
Homer Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Typical eco-jerks- using words to talk.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: A shark's reptilian brain understands only one thing-- the crime of murder.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: My diet is working.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Why couldn't I be eaten by a giraffe? That would be fun.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: Ooh, a baby whale. My diet is working.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Eco-activist: It'll either make him go away or eat you quicker.
Homer: Ooh, maybe the blood will scare the sharks off.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: He's young, he's got two cute kids. He'll be moving in with a sexy lady octopus in no time.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: But if I'm not mistaken, there's a little whale-a-puss on the way.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Top Episodes — The Simpsons
