A black hole threatens to swallow Springfield, Homer tries to find the source of paranormal activity, and a "Back to the Future" parody in which Bart keeps Marge from marrying Homer.
WAR
49.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Treehouse Of Horror Xxiii” ranks #173 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.0 — Elite. The episode packs 53 scored jokes at 3.5 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bart · Homer: I did it! I hit my first home run! No...! I'm still proud of you, buddy.
Marge: Sometimes a mysterious, invisible being from Hell waits for a family to go to sleep then kills them. Now, go to bed.
Marge Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Bully butler · Barty Ziff: Will that be haw-haw, sir? Give yourself a wedgie. Excellent choice.
Adult Bart: I'm your unwanted son from the future who killed all your fun!
Homer: Okay, it's possible someone may have started a business called Magic Craphole Waste Removal, but it wasn't me.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun All Jokes — 53 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Mayan priest: Don't worry. We got a guy here we really been fattening up.
Homer: More cricket fajitas!
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: Although I... I did kind of space out during orientation.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Mayan priest: Even though you know it's coming, when you see your own beating heart, try to act surprised, huh? It's some kid's first time.
High Priest: What priest isn't?
High Priest: That whooshing sound is really turning me...
Bart: Man, soccer's even boring for the ball.
Bart Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Mayan priest: And it will be Obama's fault!
Homer · Marge: Hey, uh, Marge, I'm setting my watch. What baktun is it? 13th! Oh!
Mayor Quimby: Welcome to the grand opening of our whatchamacallit, which, thanks to the lobbying of Lisa Simpson, we built instead of a new baseball stadium.
Mayor Quimby: At least the pennant works both ways.
Mayor Quimby: Professor Frink will now throw a switch, which will either answer certain obscure questions of subatomic physics or destroy the universe.
Professor Frink: Oh, my God particle!
Professor Frink: You can tell your grandchildren you were here when humanity finally learned that this accelerator is much too small to tell us anything important.
Homer: Thanks a lot, Liser! That money could've been used for a war!
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Groundskeeper Willie: Aah! No one takes Willie's mop!
Groundskeeper Willie: Take the mop! Take the mop!
Cletus: I's rich! I's poor and shack-less.
Cletus Character Comedy Visual Gag Homer · Lisa: Two stray dogs?! That was gonna be my next guess. Are you sure your next guess wasn't three stray dogs? Maybe.
Homer: Hey! Could it open a pretzel bag for me? Help a brother out, B.H.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: Come on. You can't look at that infinitely dense little guy and not want to feed it something.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: I'm nature's perfect choking machine!
Homer Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Marge: I know we shouldn't feed this, but grease brings raccoons.
Marge Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Ned Flanders: Quit bageling my English muffins!
Homer: Okay, it's possible someone may have started a business called Magic Craphole Waste Removal, but it wasn't me.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart · Homer: I did it! I hit my first home run! No...! I'm still proud of you, buddy.
Homer: You saw that I had the money, right?
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Alien leader: Our most popular magazine is your Presidents' Day Mattress Blowout insert.
Alien leader: And we listen to all our music on the most wonderful device ever created, the Zune.
Homer · Bart: remember me as a hero. Dad, you forgot to pick me up after Little League. You tossed your car keys in my bean plant. A hero!
Homer: Note to self-- edit out my lies.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Marge: Sometimes a mysterious, invisible being from Hell waits for a family to go to sleep then kills them. Now, go to bed.
Marge Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Ooh, I can't wait for tonight's massacre.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Homer: It's Moe with wings!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Young Marge: Hail Satan, the Minister of Sinister, Rude Dude with a Bad 'Tude.
Demon · Homer: Three-way. Hmm. You, me and Marge? Mmm, demon, demon, you.
Comic Book Guy · Bart: The only way to buy that comic book for 25 cents is to go back to 1974. That's impossible! Or is it?
Professor Frink: Here, kid, hold my keys while I grab some lunch.
Bart: Now to get my comic book and explore a world where no one's mad at George Lucas.
Bart Observational Meta/Self-Referential Young Homer: Eh, pretty good. A little preachy.
Barney: It's Homer! Before his boobs came in!
Barney Character Comedy Observational Adult Bart: I'm your unwanted son from the future who killed all your fun!
Adult Bart: Or my life might be a hell of a lot better! Ma'am, whatever you do, do not marry that ape.
Young Homer: Ice cream with cookie dough?! Unnecessarily big TVs! Thursday Night Football? And the globe feels so warm!
Bart Ziff: Why would I suck smoothie when I can suck face with you, Mrs. Artie Ziff?
Real Bart · Artie Ziff · Bart Ziff: My dad is Artie Ziff? Indeed! Which makes you Barty Ziff. Oy, caramba!
Bully butler · Barty Ziff: Will that be haw-haw, sir? Give yourself a wedgie. Excellent choice.
Rich timeline Homer: You're just like Indiana Jones, son. A role played by Richard Dreyfuss in our universe.
Caveman Homer: Crush them... in the name of Jebus!
Marge: I was supposed to be with all of you!
Marge Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Marge: That's Renaissance Homer. Well, cardinal or cannibal, I wish that 20 years ago, I had chosen love.
Marge Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Egyptian Slave Homer: Make Egyptian Slave Homer do it. It's always me.
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