Bart fools the town into thinking there's a little boy trapped in a well.
Fifty-nine jokes in 21 minutes anchored by dark comedy—Season 3's experimental sweet spot.
Directed by Carlos Baeza · Written by Jon Vitti
WAR
37.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Radio Bart” ranks #351 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 76.5 — Great. The episode packs 59 scored jokes at 3.5 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Bart landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bart as Timmy: I was trying to gnaw my foot off, but... I couldn't get through my sock. Good night, everybody.
Krusty: We got to pay for promotion, shipping, distribution. You know, those limos out back aren't free. Whatever's left, we throw down the well.
Krusty Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Bart as God · Rod/Tod: Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God? Happy God. Then quit flapping your lip.
Bart: Sorry, lady. Show's over.
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: It won't be like those shoe trees... I got him last year... or the shelf paper I bought him for Christmas. I'll buy his love yet.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 59 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Hey! Where in God's name did you learn that kind of... dancing?
Bart · Homer: Dad, this is $110. - Oh. Sorry.
Homer: That could be Bart.
TV Commercial: Hey, good-looking... we'll be back to pick you up later. He's in for some loving.
Homer: It won't be like those shoe trees... I got him last year... or the shelf paper I bought him for Christmas. I'll buy his love yet.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Homer: Wow. Best eight bucks I ever spent.
Bart: Take a message. Right now, I'm off to hit 46 local merchants... for free birthday... goods and services.
Bart · Store clerk: I'm here for my free birthday sundae. Eat it and get out.
Grandpa · Other old man: Digital audiotape, my butt. When I was a kid, we had compact discs... and I don't recall no one complaining. Damn right.
Wally: Hey, later, okay? Hey, why don't you go bug your parents?
Bart · Restaurant worker: Hell, no. - You got it.
Marge: Before we got it... I was always finding Patty's stubble... in my leg razor.
Patty or Selma: Ooh,just gorgeous. Now we can be twins.
Homer Character Comedy Callback Callback Homer: Hey, good-looking... we'll be back for some dinner later.
Homer: Mmm, chocolate. D'oh! Mmm, chocolate. D'oh!
Homer Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Bart: People of Earth, this is Bartron-- commander of the Martian invasion force. Your planet is in our hands. Resistance is useless. We have captured your president. He was delicious.
Bart Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Bart: Sorry, lady. Show's over.
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Lisa · Bart: I dreamed I was married to Corey... and we lived on a pony farm... and Corey was always walking around... with his shirt off. Oh, brother.
Lisa Bart Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Lisa: I dreamed I was married to Corey and we lived on a pony farm and Corey was always walking around with his shirt off.
Lisa Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Bart · Rod · Tod: Rod, Tod, this is God. How did you get on the radio? What do you mean? I created the universe, stupid kids.
Bart Rod Tod Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Bart as God: Walk through the wall. I will remove it... for you... ...later.
Bart as God · Rod/Tod: Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God? Happy God. Then quit flapping your lip.
Bart · Groundskeeper Willie: Help me, please. I fell down the well! I'll get help, laddie. A little nip of courage.
Willie · Bart: Out of my way! Look out, you horse's arse! Sucker.
Bart as Timmy: My name is Timmy O'Toole. I just turned ten years old. I have no family. I tried to enroll in school... but Principal Skinner turned me away... because of my shabby clothes.
Lou · Chief Wiggum: By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows. Why don't you go, Chief? Well, I'm too... ...important.
Mayor Quimby · Chief Wiggum: By God, men, you're a bunch of marshmallows. Why don't you go, Chief? Well, I'm too... important.
Wiggum: I don't think he's coming back.
Scientist: Although we can't reach the boy... we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen... so that future generations can rescue him.
Fisherman: With this hook and this hunk of chocolate I'll land your boy and I'll clean him for free.
Bart · Homer: How does that make him a hero? Well, it's more than you did.
Krusty: I wanted to do something... to help... so I called my friend, Sting. He said... 'When do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said, 'I'm busy.' I said, 'Friday?' He said... 'Friday's worse.' Then he said, 'How about Saturday?' I said, 'Fine.' True story.
Krusty Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Sting: Yeah. I used to open for Krusty in '69. In fact, he fired me, as I recall. Oh, Sting. But this isn't about show business. This is about some kid down a hole... or something.
Sting Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Krusty: We got to pay for promotion, shipping, distribution. You know, those limos out back aren't free. Whatever's left, we throw down the well.
Krusty Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Vendor: Authentic Timmy O'Toole baby teeth. $6.00 a bag.
Vendor Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Expert: It's very simple, Kent. The child is reverting to a feral or wolf-like state.
Bart as Timmy: I was trying to gnaw my foot off, but... I couldn't get through my sock. Good night, everybody.
Lisa · Bart: When they find out you've been fooling them... they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors. And how are they going to find out? The police will catch you. The police couldn't catch a cold.
Lisa · Bart: Maybe not, but you're stupid enough... to have left a 'Bart Simpson' label... on that radio. D'oh!
Lisa Bart Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Callback Bart · Police: Help! I fell down the well. Tell us something we don't know.
Bart · Lou · Eddie: Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody. Well, you sure fooled us, kid. Hey, I got an idea for a prank. Let's go home... and go to sleep. Good one, Eddie.
Marge · Lou: You must think we're the worst parents in the world. Yes, that's pretty much the feeling down at the station.
Homer · Bart: I brought you your Krusty doll. Ow! Knock it off, you bald boob! Don't make me come down there! Like to see you fit. Why, you little...!
Wiggum: I like the other boy. So polite.
Official: Had he done it at the start of the fiscal year, no problemo.
Homer · Marge · Reporter: It's not our fault. We didn't want the boy. He was an accident. Homer! Could you edit that last part? Mr. Simpson, we're live. D'oh!
Kids: One plus one plus three is five. Little Bart Simpson's buried alive. He's so neat. He's so sweet. Now the rats have Bart to eat...
Kids Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Mayor: Ever since I called for the rescue... of that Simpson lad, I have taken heat... so I am flip-flopping. I say let him stay down there.
Mayor Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Marge: You'll grow into it.
Marge Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more. I'm going to get you out of there myself.
Homer Character Comedy Callback Bart: smoke a cigarette... use a fake I.D.... shave a swear word in my hair--
Bart Character Comedy Escalation Kent Brockman: The Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated. We'll stay with the story all night, if we have to.
Wiggum: Gentlemen, this canary died of natural causes. Back in the hole!
Wiggum Character Comedy Absurdist Marge · Homer · Sting: Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play your albums. Shh! Marge, he's a good digger.
Marge · Homer: Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play your albums. Shh! Marge, he's a good digger.
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