Bart's answer to detention from Mrs. Krabappel is to answer her personal ad with letters from a Mr. Wonderful, but his last laugh is more of a guilty whimper.
Escalation-driven character comedy sustains 76 jokes across 22 minutes at peak Season 3 form.
Directed by Carlos Baeza · Written by Jon Vitti
WAR
60.4
Wins Above Replacement
“Bart The Lover” ranks #181 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.6 — Elite. The episode packs 76 scored jokes at 4.3 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer in postcard: Maybe it's the beer talking but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big, chewy pretzels here... Five dollars?! Get outta here.
Todd Flanders: Hell no. I don't want any damn vegetables.
Ned Flanders: All of us pull a few boners now and then-- Go off half-cocked, make asses of ourselves.
Homer: Dear baby, Welcome to Dumpville. Population: You.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Reverend Lovejoy: Damn Flanders.
All Jokes — 76 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Educational Film Narrator: You said you wanted a world without zinc, Jimmy. Well, now your car has no battery.
Educational Film Narrator: Sorry Jimmy. Without zinc for the rotary mechanism there are no telephones.
Educational Film Narrator: The firing pin in your gun was made of... yup... zinc.
Educational Film Narrator · Jimmy: Zinc, come back. Zinc! Zinc, zinc! What? Oh, it was all a dream.
Student: Gross! He's picking his nose.
Student Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat Teacher: If anyone wants to learn more about zinc they're welcome to stay. We can talk about anything. I'll do your homework for you.
Teacher Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Edna: Chef Lonely Heart's soup for one.
Edna Visual Gag Character Comedy Apu: I haven't seen you since we doubled our prices.
Apu Character Comedy Observational Edna's Ex-husband: Bingo, bango, sugar in the gas tank. Your ex-husband strikes again.
Edna: A personal ad? Why not? It might be fun. Kind of a lark. Come on, come on. Answer the phone. I need a man!
Edna Escalation Character Comedy Ted Carpenter: Kids, this is a yo-yo. Kind of dull, huh? Not much competition for a video game... or is it?
Bart Character Comedy Reaction Beat Bart: These guys must be millionaires. I'll bet they get all kinds of girls.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Lisa: I question the value of this assembly. It will be a pleasant memory when they're pumping gas for a living.
Lisa Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Principal Skinner: Ooh... careful now. That one grazed my ear. Don't move. You could really get hurt.
Sparkle: Wait. This isn't you. That's the old Sparkle. Get your worthless butts in the van. We got three more schools. Let's go, go, go!
Sparkle Misdirection Character Comedy Bart: That's your trick? No. Here's my trick. Hoowah!
Bart Setup/Punchline Escalation Homer: Can you believe it? Soon, I'll be able to quit my job and live off the boy.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Marge · Homer: Name me one person who's gotten rich by doing yo-yo tricks. Donald Trump? No. Arnold Palmer? No. Bill Cosby? No. D'oh!
Mrs. Krabappel: Did they have yo-yos? No, they did not have yo-yos. Did the Indians have yo-yos? No, they did not have yo-yos!
Bart: A little something I call 'Plucking the Pickle.'
Bart Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort Bart Character Comedy Running Gag Callback Groundskeeper Willie: Don't worry about your wee fish, lass. They're going to a better place.
Mrs. Krabappel: Here you go... Just kidding. Here you go... Just kidding.
Man responding to personal ad: Your ad said you wanted a man. You got yourself a hummm-dinger.
Man responding to personal ad: Just because there's a little snow on the roof... I forget how the rest of that goes.
Repair technician: Someone jammed a Malibu Stacy head down here.
Bart: One plus one equals two?
Bart Character Comedy Reaction Beat Bart: My name is... Woodrow.
Bart Character Comedy Misdirection Bart as Woodrow: I really hate yo-yos.
Homer: Marge, you're a tool of the doghouse makers.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: You've been brainwashed by all those doghouse commercials on TV.
Homer: This is a door. He goes through that. This is a roof. And this happy character here is the sun. He shines down on the house.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag Bart: I'm starting to get the hang of the floor waxer.
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bart: I'm the 28th president of the United States.
Bart Character Comedy Absurdist Bart: You've got a date with the Xerox machine.
Bart Character Comedy Visual Gag Homer: Stupid lumber. Damn it! D'oh! I-- Oh, the hell with this!
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Callback Todd Flanders: Hell no. I don't want any damn vegetables.
Reverend Lovejoy: Was it asparagus?
Reverend Lovejoy: Uh... page 900.
Reverend Lovejoy: Damn Flanders.
Lisa: That exchange student Mix!pa?
Lisa Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Maude Flanders: He used to watch Davy and Goliath but he thought the idea of a talking dog was blasphemous.
Homer in postcard: Maybe it's the beer talking but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big, chewy pretzels here... Five dollars?! Get outta here.
Lisa: Wow, a side of Dad I've never seen!
Lisa Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Bart as Woodrow: Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit.
Homer: What the hell are you talking about?
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Ned Flanders: All of us pull a few boners now and then-- Go off half-cocked, make asses of ourselves.
Homer: Oh, come on now, Flanders. I don't complain about your... moustache.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: Uh, it makes you look like you got something to hide. People are talking. Lots of people.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: Aye, aye... Admiral Butthead.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart: Whoa, slow down, Frenchy. This stuff is gold.
Bart Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Marge: Homer, you brought up Ned Flanders.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Marge: It almost cost him his job as a baby photographer
Marge Character Comedy Absurdist Homer: If I catch fire? If I see something weird? What about when we snuggle?
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Bart Character Comedy Reaction Beat Callback Bart as Woodrow: Perhaps later we will smooch up a storm. Sexily yours, Woody.
Marge: Homer, that was a 20.
Marge Visual Gag Escalation Ned Flanders: No sooner had I shaved off the old cookie duster than a lady cast me in a commercial.
Homer: Well, he just goes... Ohh!
Homer Visual Gag Physical/Slapstick Mrs. Krabappel: What about Principal Skinner? Let's just say his mommy won't let him out to play.
Mrs. Krabappel: What about Coach Fortner? Glug, glug, glug, glug...
Mrs. Krabappel: What about groundskeeper Willy? Ugh! I won't even tell you what that guy's into.
Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, you are the closest thing to a man in my life and that's so depressing I think I'm going to cry.
Homer: Oh, fudge... That's broken. Fiddle-dee-dee. That will require a tetanus shot.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Callback Homer Character Comedy Callback Homer: Dear baby, Welcome to Dumpville. Population: You.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Lisa: Though I'll be inoculating babies in Kampuchea my heart is with you.
Lisa Character Comedy Absurdist Bart: How about 'Crocodiles bit off my face'?
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: Three simple words: 'I am gay.'
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Marge: Homer, you old honey dripper.
Marge Character Comedy Reaction Beat Mrs. Krabappel: It's a date.
Mrs. Krabappel · Bart: It's such a nice day today. Let's have detention outside. It's a date.
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