Bart suspects something rotten when Selma gets engaged to Sideshow Bob.
Marge's sister episode delivers 51 jokes in 22 minutes—steady pace masks uneven emotional stakes.
Directed by David Silverman · Written by Jon Vitti, Sam Simon
WAR
43.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Black Widower” ranks #241 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.1 — Elite. The episode packs 51 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Sideshow Bob landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Sideshow Bob: Even murder has its ugly side.
Sideshow Bob: But what kind of guest would I have been?
Sideshow Bob: Enjoy your rest. The wedding was very tough on you, and the honeymoon is going to be... murder.
Sideshow Bob · Selma: Voy a matar a usted. - Wha? - That's Spanish for 'I am going to kill you.' - Say what?
Bart: Aah! It's Sideshow Bob!
Bart Reaction Beat Character Comedy Callback All Jokes — 51 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: Would you turn off that rock 'n' rock music?
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart: Don't have a stegosaurus, man.
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on TV.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Homer: It's like they saw our lives and put it up on screen.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bart: Cool, he can teach us how to kill a man with a lunch tray.
Bart Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Lisa · Marge: Then why aren't you using the good silverware? - I'm just not.
Bart: Aah! It's Sideshow Bob!
Bart Reaction Beat Character Comedy Callback Sideshow Bob: Bart is the shamus in short pants who sent me to prison.
Patty: If some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out I'd find out where he lives and tear him a new belly-button.
Patty Dark/Subversive Wordplay/Pun Sideshow Bob · Selma: You're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha. - I am not. - Yes, you are.
Sideshow Bob: When prison ended that dream, I became a seething cauldron of rage and recrimination.
Sideshow Bob: This is one more Emmy than you'll ever win, you bantering jack-in-the-box!
Krusty: Just don't drop it in the shower.
Krusty Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline Sideshow Bob: Do you know what prison is like for a life-long Republican?
Prison inmates: Who used my chap stick? - Oh, I did. Here you go. - I don't want it.
Sideshow Bob: But what kind of guest would I have been?
Prison guard: No Emmys, no Oscars, not even a Golden Globe.
Selma (reading letter): I share an apartment with my twin sister. Enclosed is a photo of us on a tandem bike. I forget which one I am.
Sideshow Bob (reading letter): your latest letter set off a riot in the maximum-security wing of my heart
Sideshow Bob: Like the lone crocus that pokes through the prison yard, our love bloomed despite all obstacles.
Sideshow Bob: Cutter. Icepick. Snake. I'm going to miss you most of all.
Marge: You're living proof that our revolving-door prison system works.
Marge Irony/Sarcasm Observational Sideshow Bob: You seized the wheel of my slow boat to hell, and pointed it towards the sunny shores of Selma.
Sideshow Bob: Though kissing you is like kissing some divine ashtray, that's not what I had in mind.
Bart · Selma: Don't be a fool. That man is scum. - Then call me 'Mrs. Scum.'
DMV worker: 'A'... 'G'... 'Q'... Seven... Close enough. May you drive safely and find true love.
TV host: You should see the bus they came to the studio in.
TV host Dark/Subversive Cringe/Discomfort Krusty: If they open the books on this telethon I'm right back in there.
Krusty Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but, brother, it ain't ketchup!
Homer Observational Character Comedy Selma: I bought stock in a Mace company just before society crumbled.
Selma Dark/Subversive Observational Selma: Holy frijoles! We've got ten minutes till MacGyver. Driver, here's a fin. Get me home, and don't spare the whip.
Selma Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun MacGyver (on TV): Don't thank me. Thank the moon's gravitational pull.
Sideshow Bob: First of all, he's not a genius. He's an actor. And second, he's not much of an actor.
Sideshow Bob: that was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me retch.
Homer: I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for love.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Bart: Bart no like. Bad medicine.
Bart Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Krusty: Oh, gee, a joke, huh? Um... uh... funny. Okay, this guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a 12-inch pianist-- Oh, no, wait. I can't tell that one.
Krusty Meta/Self-Referential Cringe/Discomfort Selma: 41 years ago, God took 168 pounds of clay, and he made me a woman, and for this, I thank him.
Selma Observational Character Comedy Chief Wiggum: Lighten up, son. If he was going to commit a crime, would he have invited the number-one cop in town? Now, where did I put my gun? Oh, yeah. I set it down when I got some cake.
Sideshow Bob: Enjoy your rest. The wedding was very tough on you, and the honeymoon is going to be... murder.
Sideshow Bob: I wanted a room with a fireplace, you brainless luggage monkey!
Sideshow Bob: Ah, fire-- Scourge of Prometheus, toaster of marshmallows, eradicator of deadwood.
Sideshow Bob: Even murder has its ugly side.
Sideshow Bob · Selma: Soon I will kill you. - Huh? - Son pieds sentit beau-- French for 'her foot smells lovely.'
Sideshow Bob · Selma: Voy a matar a usted. - Wha? - That's Spanish for 'I am going to kill you.' - Say what?
Sideshow Bob · Selma: Don't forget to die. - Ding-dong.
Sideshow Bob: My best-laid plans have gang agley.
Bart: Her only hope was a plucky young boy and his slow-witted father.
Bart Character Comedy Observational Bart: After trying four times to explain it to Homer, I explained it to Mom and we were on our way!
Bart Character Comedy Observational Homer: Oh, I'll field that one. [EXPLOSION] Oh, right, the gas.
Homer Physical/Slapstick Reaction Beat Top Episodes — The Simpsons