Michael deals with numerous requests for some unfrozen money, and chastises Lucille for being too coddling with Buster. Lindsay decides to protest the war to boost her self esteem while Tobias and Gob decide to start a coffee company.
Mid-season slump: 73 score with sparse callbacks despite character-driven setup.
Directed by Paul Feig · Written by Jim Vallely, John Levenstein
WAR
37
Wins Above Replacement
“Whistlers Mother” ranks #82 of 84 Arrested Development episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 73.0 — Solid. The episode packs 56 scored jokes at 2.0 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.4 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Narrator: The next day, Mr. Vandenbosch was not in school. He was never heard from again.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Lindsay · Stylist: Come on! These salon wars have got to stop! - The war, Lindsay. The real war.
Buster · Michael: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army? - No. Your sister's husband. - Michael? Michael! - No, that's your sister's brother. - I'm my sister's brother. - You're in love with me. Me! - I'm in love with Tobias.
George Sr.: I mean, they run their... their tanks through there. Occasionally, they stop for a little lemonade, but what's that? That's a buck fifty. You can't make much from that.
Narrator: Lindsay was stunned, notjust that she was losing her stylist... but that apparently, there was a war going on.
All Jokes — 56 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael · Lindsay: Wow. Exciting, huh? - Finally getting some money. - What do you want, Lindsay?
Michael · Lindsay: Mother's neck. - No, that was a good investment. It is easier to look at now, isn't it?
Lindsay: I want to have an affair. Now, I'm not sure with who yet, but I'll need lingerie, waxings... These are some real costs, Michael.
Lindsay · Tobias: I just feel like using my body. - Well, Lindsay, could you use it over there? I'm trying to grow.
Lindsay: We had sex once in the last year, and he just laid there.
Lindsay Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Lindsay: Well, if I'm gonna have an affair...
Lindsay Callback Character Comedy Callback Lucille: I meant 'a matter of'L' and 'D'...' Life and death.
Lucille Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lucille: Buster's jaw clicks when he eats. I think it's what's driving his friends away.
Lucille: I seem to remember a certain someone running to Mommy when his algebra teacher made an example of him.
Narrator: The next day, Mr. Vandenbosch was not in school. He was never heard from again.
Narrator Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch George Michael: Pop-Pop? Sorry, miss. Pop-Pop!
George Michael · Maeby: But with hair! Which is probably why he asked for my hair, remember? - Give Pop-Pop your hair! - Give me the hair!
George Michael: tunnelled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candy apple on his way to Mexico!
George Sr. · Michael: Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you? - just one? No. No idea. It sounds wonderful though.
Michael: EspeciallyJordan. He's just waiting for me to screw up, so he can blow the whistle on me.
Michael Setup/Punchline Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Michael: Interesting choice of words, Mr. Jordan. He's right. We don't need a whistle-blower. We need a building full of whistle-blowers.
Michael · Board Members: When you see something wrong, I wa... There you go. I want you to report it.
Michael: Let's wait till something actually happens though. Okay, good fun. All right. Hey. Enough! 45, 46, 47... Okay, there's still three whistles left out there.
Michael Escalation Physical/Slapstick Tobias: I just need to prove to my wife that I can act like a man. And it's not about sex. I don't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking.
Tobias Cringe/Discomfort Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Buster · Michael: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army? - No. Your sister's husband. - Michael? Michael! - No, that's your sister's brother. - I'm my sister's brother. - You're in love with me. Me! - I'm in love with Tobias.
Buster: I can't be expected to live on the $800-a-month army-wife stipend that I'm gonna get. They just don't support the spouses.
Buster Absurdist Character Comedy Buster: Well, I've always wanted to remake Annie Hall. Except I wouldn't want to get in bed with a green producer like a Sofia Coppola though. Oh, but give me an old pro, like a Robert Redford? Oh, I'd jump into bed with him in a second.
Buster Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Buster · Michael: And I wouldn't just lie there, Michael Bluth... if that's what you're thinking. - Actually, that time that was what I was thinking.
Lindsay · Stylist: Come on! These salon wars have got to stop! - The war, Lindsay. The real war.
Narrator: Lindsay was stunned, notjust that she was losing her stylist... but that apparently, there was a war going on.
Gob · Tobias: People love to carbo-load. - The bagel place. - There you go.
Michael: I guess that's a response.
Michael Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Oscar Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Michael · Oscar: I have lemons, I make lemonade. - That's a very positive attitude. I hate the lemonade business. I hate the grind. You have to grind so many... lemons.
Michael: You're not a very metaphorical person, are you?
Oscar: That was a song I wrote for David Cassidy; he was gonna sing it on The Mike Douglas Show. But he was too embarrassed to do it in front ofJohn and Yoko.
Oscar Absurdist Character Comedy George Sr.: This guy has got nothing in his life. He wrote one song that madeJoan Baez call him 'the shallowest man in the world.'
George Sr.: I mean, they run their... their tanks through there. Occasionally, they stop for a little lemonade, but what's that? That's a buck fifty. You can't make much from that.
Oscar Visual Gag Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Lindsay · Maeby: I'm protesting the war. There's a war going on, you know? - Yeah, I'm the one who told you, and you said it happened ten years ago.
Lindsay: Actually, I used this one for Michael when he was too cheap to pay for the premium channels. But I added the bit about the stylists.
Gob: Have you seen the agricultural report? Nothing's hotter than coffee, so... the trend is up.
Gob Absurdist Character Comedy Gob · Tobias: Gobias Industries. - Go bias. - As in, 'Go buy us some coffee.'
Tobias: This is the first any of us at Gobias Industries have heard of a land deal.
Tobias Character Comedy Callback Callback Gob: He went around you, around the board... He steamrolled Gobias.
Gob Escalation Callback Callback Narrator: Maybe the worst bluff I've ever seen. Even the members of Gobias agreed on that one.
Narrator Meta/Self-Referential Callback Callback Lindsay · Officer: This is where we're protesting? This isn't right. Where are the cameras? - They're in the free press zone
George Michael: Well, we thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair.
Secretary: Excuse me. Your father's calling from prison. He wants to talk about the land deal you made with his brother. I found this on your desk. Can I keep this?
Soldiers: Thought we were seein' a gay marriage. - We can still hose 'em down.
Lindsay: All your water's doing is whetting my appetite for protest. No hair for oil! No hair for oil!
Michael: And he should be, you know? He told me to pay off his brother, and I didn't. Instead, I bought his worthless land.
Michael Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Michael · Lucille: What's this? What's happening? - It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. - Why?
Lucille · Michael: Let Mama take care of it. - No, no. Mom, come on. I don't want you to do anything. Hey! This isn't algebra. I'm a big boy. Mother! Do not make somebody dis... disappear.
Lucille: Now there's someone who could have used a good mother. Whore!
Lucille Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Oscar · Lucille: You still have the neck of a 20-year-old. - And you still have the hair of a lion.
Lucille · Michael: You know about what I was saying about how people outlive their usefulness? - That was out of line. - I know. But you made a good point.
Board Member: Why have we been spending so much money on whistles?
Lucille · Michael: I remember a young man who used to say 'But I don't have bad dreams in your bed!' - That was Buster.
Lindsay: I want to be... a cage dancer.
Oscar Callback Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — Arrested Development
