The B. Team

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Michael takes a job at a company that drives a car photographing every private residence — but the show blurs out the Google Street View car and logo, with the narrator saying 'we're just going to blur it anyway' and Michael told to 'something' it.

Narrator · Michael Bluth:I'm used to a car with some stares. Albeit one that had trouble negotiating low-hanging obstacles.

Narrator · Michael Bluth:This is going to be low. / I hooked it. — Visual: the Google camera car knocking into a low-hanging obstacle.

Narrator:But it's also a company that won't let us show the car that takes those pictures. In fairness to them, it is their property.

Barry Zuckerkorn:Barry in front of a jury, offering to tell Ron Howard to 'go (BLEEP) himself' and 'shove it up his (BLEEP)' while apologizing to the jury: 'Sorry, everybody. I'm an attorney, too.'

Barry Zuckerkorn:Barry: 'Apparently, he directed a movie called Cocoon.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · Bob Loblaw:The Bob Loblaw Law Bomb sequence: 'If he can't reach, this trial's a breach.' / 'That's a low blow, Loblaw.' / 'A Bob Loblaw Law Bomb.' / 'Ahhh.'

Barry Zuckerkorn:Barry: 'I can't reach the Chachi.' / 'Hey, should I try tippy-toe? Look, I'm on tippy-toes.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · opposing counsel / narrator:'That's a low blow, Loblaw. A Bob Loblaw Law Bomb.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'Michael drove to the North American headquarters of Imagine Entertainment, the modest film, television and streaming colossus'

Narrator · Michael Bluth:'Ankles' means 'leaves' in Variety, Michael.

Michael Bluth · Kitty Sanchez:Kitty: 'I'm a D girl.' Michael: 'No, I don't want to see them.' / Kitty: 'It means development. I'm a movie executive.'

Narrator · Kitty Sanchez:Narrator: 'And she'd proven as loyal to him as she was to her former boss, Michael's father. But without the quote-unquote benefits. Also, Imagine provided no health benefits.'

Narrator:The narrator explaining Kitty's loyalty to Ron Howard: 'And she'd proven as loyal to him as she was to her former boss, Michael's father. But without the quote-unquote benefits. Also, Imagine provided no health benefits.'

Michael Bluth · Kitty Sanchez · Narrator:Michael: 'You're probably going to call me a pig for this, too, but are you sure that you meant to say "knew"?' Narrator: 'She did.' — followed by extended explanation of what Kitty actually blew.

Maeby Fünke · Kitty Sanchez:Maeby, a 17-year-old, hiring Kitty as an assistant and asking her to buy booze and 'smack or hash or Special K.'

Kitty Sanchez · Maeby Fünke · Narrator:Kitty: 'You know where all the bodies are buried.' Kitty: 'And I even helped bury some of them.' Narrator: 'Maeby was only 17 at the time.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'And the project got thrown on the back burner.' — Visual: a literal project (script?) on a stove burner.

Narrator:Only Jerry Bruckheimer's building was technically taller. But who wants to be south of Wilshire?

Narrator · Ron Howard lookalikes:'But first, Michael would have to pass a few little Rons.' — Visual: multiple Ron Howard lookalike assistants.

Michael Bluth · Ron Howard lookalike:Little Ron: 'Hey, nice try, mister. We're never going to beat the original.' Michael: 'Well, that's what I've been saying.'

Ron Howard · Michael Bluth:Ron Howard is finishing 'casting this Andy Griffith Show thing' and has been reading about it for 40 years.

Ron Howard · Michael Bluth:Ron Howard: 'Hey, let's go inside the LEM. You want to? Is this the one that landed on the moon?' Ron: 'On a soundstage.' Michael: 'Oh, right, from Apollo 13.' Ron: 'No, no, 1969.'

Ron Howard:Ron: 'So, NASA did go to the moon in '71. That one was real. But in '69, they weren't ready, so they faked the whole thing on the soundstage of Gentle Ben.'

Michael Bluth · Ron Howard:Michael: 'Whoa! Hang on, are you kidding me? I'm a Phoenix. I've never met anyone else in person that also goes there.' Ron: 'I guess that's the downside of going to college online.' Michael: 'Well, I just got a sick aunt down there.'

Ron Howard · Narrator:Ron Howard's movies sourced from random images: Splash from a counterfeit Hockney, Da Vinci Code from a photo, Willow from a Soft 'n Snuggly coupon.

Ron Howard:Ron: 'Plus I've been dying to figure out a way to do something about the market crash ever since my partner, Brian Grazer, was tipped off that it was three months away from happening.'

Ron Howard · Michael Bluth:Ron: 'Your wife is dying. You're trying to hold your family together.' Michael: 'Oh, gosh, no, no. My wife died years before any of this.' Ron: 'I think it's a lot more fun if we see her die.'

Michael Bluth · Ron Howard · Narrator:Michael assuming 'my girl Rebel' refers to Ron Howard's mistress — talking conspiratorially in the LEM — while Ron is actually referring to his daughter.

Michael Bluth · Ron Howard:Michael: 'I'm not one to judge. I'm sure you've all got girls up here in Hollywood.' Ron: 'Brian's got two boys.'

Ron Howard:Ron: 'How do you tell Ed Harris that he's simply not a Barney?'

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Michael is given a producer card that accidentally makes him a producer. He's delighted. Narrator: 'Health plan is not another one of the perks, by the way. No health plan.'

Barry Zuckerkorn · Michael Bluth:Barry: 'It sounds like Ron Howard is casting with his (BLEEP).' Michael: 'Well, it is hard to believe, but I guess they've all got their mistresses up here in showbiz.'

Michael Bluth · Barry Zuckerkorn · Narrator:George Bluth Sr.'s father never signed birthday cards — only gave money orders — because he claimed he 'didn't have a signature.' Barry rhymes: 'Oh! If you don't sign, you will be fine.'

Michael Bluth · Rebel Alley:Michael bumping into Rebel Alley — literally — in a meet-cute so clichéd she was literally auditioning for a scene exactly like it.

Michael Bluth · Rebel Alley:Michael: 'My deceased wife had red hair.' Rebel: 'Yep, garbage like that.'

Rebel Alley · Michael Bluth:Rebel: 'And it's so unbelievable. Like, they never get each other's names.' — and then neither Michael nor Rebel ever get each other's names throughout the scene.

Michael Bluth:Michael: 'I'm a movie producer. Sorry. I'm a movie... Here, I've got... I've got proof here. Huh?' — showing his accidental producer card.

Narrator · Michael Bluth:The narrator: 'It wasn't until Michael had walked two blocks past the California Pizza Kitchen when this happened. Hey, I met a girl today and her name is (BLEEP).'

Michael Bluth:Michael searching headshots for the unnamed woman: 'Nothing? She was super-pretty, red hair...'

Michael Bluth · George Bluth Sr.:George Sr. hiding in Lucille 2's apartment — then Michael points out he's in the wrong Lucille's apartment.

George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth:George Sr.: 'I just came back to get some suits, you know, so I can look like the uptight, dishonest, cheating boob that I am.' Michael: 'Well, I never said "boob."'

Michael Bluth · George Bluth Sr.:Michael's prolonged pause while trying to think of a nice word for how George Sr. will be portrayed in the movie — nearly 30 seconds — before managing 'Nice.'

Kitty Sanchez · Narrator · Michael Bluth:Explanation of why Michael's office ceiling is so low: Brian and Ron wanted taller ceilings, Bruckheimer blocked the building height, so Ron said '(BLEEP) you, Jerry' and lowered his floor. Brian then wanted his ceiling just a few inches taller than Ron's — causing Michael's office to be lowest of all.

Kitty Sanchez · Michael Bluth:Michael's office has even lower ceilings than Ron's, because Brian wanted his ceiling higher than Ron's — an internal competition within the same company.

Kitty Sanchez · Michael Bluth:Kitty accuses Michael of 'starting with the casting couch already' — then: 'This is Imagine Entertainment, not the hot tub at Bruckheimer Tower. We make family movies, you (BLEEP) pig.'

Carl Weathers:Carl Weathers: 'Do you think anybody would be upset if one of these Crinch dolls took a walk?' — pocketing a doll while talking to Michael about the movie.

Carl Weathers · Michael Bluth:Carl Weathers: 'I know what you're thinking. "What part would I play in this?"' Michael: 'I didn't want to waste you on you.' 'In fact, I wasn't even going to talk to you about acting, but if you are game, boy, that would be great. Let's circle back to that.'

Carl Weathers · Narrator:Carl Weathers never got rights for the Scandalmakers episode about George Bluth Sr. — and so he made himself the subject of the final episode when caught.

Carl Weathers · Narrator · DeBrie Bardeaux:The DeBrie collapse on the Scandalmakers set — 'Her heart stopped. She's (BLEEP) dying.' / 'Hey, Dave, you shaved, I like it.' / 'Please get the paddles!' / 'Hey, Mike. How was Ojai?'

Carl Weathers:Carl Weathers: 'Man, you're as green as old lady Crinch. Come on, people don't go to movies to see rights. People go to movies to see actors.'

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Michael: 'Who knows my father better than Warden Gentles?' — hiring the prison warden as screenwriter.

Warden Stefan Gentles:Warden Gentles: 'Give me an old Royal and a glass of Scotch, and I'll give you 250 pages where the lightning hits the tree.' Then self-corrects: 'Where the drop hits the pond.'

Warden Stefan Gentles · Michael Bluth:Warden Gentles: 'Then the yellow robot gets mad at the pink robot...' Michael interrupts: 'Correction. The purple robot.' Warden: 'Sorry, I'm back to back today.'

Warden Stefan Gentles:Warden Gentles: 'You're not charring my tree, and... Yeah, Jerry's not gonna come off the boat for this one.'

Warden Stefan Gentles · Michael Bluth · Conan O'Brien:Warden: 'Might I suggest bringing in someone younger to play the father? A Philip Seymour Hoffman type?' — then Michael immediately cuts to: 'And so, naturally, I thought of you' — speaking to Conan O'Brien.

Conan O'Brien:Conan O'Brien: 'I'm a married man, so I don't really keep a directory of attractive young actresses around.' — responding to Michael asking about actresses.

Conan O'Brien:Conan: 'I mean, are you really planning on using her or is it like Conan with the girl writers?'

Conan O'Brien · Michael Bluth:Conan: 'You came over for a chicken and ham-water dinner that my family threw to raise some funds for itself.' 'And they're finally getting around to making a movie of that, huh?' 'There's more to it than that.' Conan: 'That just saved me 12 bucks. I'm not going to see it.'

Conan O'Brien · Andy Richter:Conan to Andy Richter: 'Just 'cause I look at you when we're doing the show and ask you a question, doesn't mean you have to respond. Sometimes it's funny when you don't say anything, and the audience gets to think, "Hey, Andy really is stupid." Gets a big laugh.'

Conan O'Brien · Michael Bluth · Andy Richter:Conan to Michael: 'Hey, you're new.' Michael: 'I've been here a year.' Conan: 'And you're funny, too. Let's get you set up in a writer's office. You can have Andy's if you don't mind the smell of bologna.'

Andy Richter:Andy Richter: 'I'm in.' — immediately agreeing to leave Conan's show and join Michael's movie.

Kitty Sanchez:The pitch meeting with Kitty's accidental slide show of her granddaughter's graduation: 'I thought that was playing in here.' / 'Sorry, it was a slide show of my granddaughter's... daughter's graduation from college.' Michael: 'Sure.' Kitty: 'High school.'

Ron Howard · Andy Richter:Ron Howard: 'Andy Richter?' Andy: 'I'm out, God damn it, I'm out.' — Andy quits the moment Ron doesn't recognize him.

Ron Howard:Ron: 'Well, everybody's got to start somewhere. As long as I don't end up there.' — re: Warden Gentles' writing credential of multiple episodes of Rocko's Modern Life.

Ron Howard · Michael Bluth:Ron: 'You know, I thought it was Cuba with the perfect Carl Weathers makeup.' Michael: 'No, no, Cuba doesn't have that kind of range.'

Brian Grazer · Carl Weathers:Brian Grazer crashes the elevator meeting, thinks Carl Weathers is Cuba Gooding Jr., and says 'I'm gonna skip this one. Good to see you, Brian.' — then leaves.

Narrator · Michael Bluth:Michael's 'Orange County Imagine' office sign is so similar to 'Imaging' (medical) that the office receives confused medical patients.

Confused Patient:'But can I leave a sample?' — the confused medical patient being redirected to 'imaging down there.'

George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth:Michael and George Sr. tussle over the Mexican porn — 'See, this is the (BLEEP) kayak all over again.'

George Bluth Sr.:George Sr.: 'I live in Mexico now and I don't always know how to ask exactly... for what I want. And that's almost over now.'

George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth:George Sr.: 'Told you so.' — immediately after Michael starts to say his father might say 'I told you so.'

George Bluth Sr. · Michael Bluth:George Sr.: 'Do you know a guy named Herbert Love?' / Michael: 'I know a lot of people, sure, 'cause I'm a big producer now.' / George Sr.: 'He ate a mouse.'

Michael Bluth:Michael: 'I lied about being a big shot to impress this girl whose name I don't even know.' — confessing to his father.

George Bluth Sr.:George Sr.: 'I didn't know it was about lying to a girl. Give me the release.'

Ron Howard · Michael Bluth:Ron Howard: 'The father-son relationship I was interested in was not you and your father, it was you and your son. You're the father.' Michael: 'But that would make my son the son.' Ron: 'Bingo.'

Ron Howard:Ron: 'Maybe the real estate business will come around soon.' Pause. 'I could never reveal that information to a non-producer.'

Rebel Alley · Michael Bluth:Rebel Alley appears at the Ealing Club playing bagpipes — Michael hears her playing and immediately changes his mind about abandoning the producer role.

Narrator:The narrator on the bagpipe music: 'And like all bagpipe music, it was hard to tell if it was good music played horribly or horrible music played well.'

Michael Bluth · Rebel Alley:Rebel: 'She actually dies on camera.' Michael: 'Well, make her mentally challenged and I'll thank you in my Oscar speech.'

Rebel Alley · Michael Bluth:Rebel: 'There's a part like that, too, only she comes in later and she's British, so she doesn't seem... No one could ever tell that she's disabled.'

Michael Bluth · Rebel Alley · Narrator:Age comparison of sons: Rebel: 'Lem's six in August.' Michael: 'Seven in July.' Narrator: 'Michael regretted the lie, so he sort of split the difference.' Michael: 'Teen. 17. In July.'

Rebel Alley:Rebel: 'They grow up so fast, don't they?' — after Michael reveals his son is 17.

Rebel Alley:Rebel: 'Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you had a part for me.' — after they apparently sleep together.

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Michael finally sees Rebel's name — as a tattoo — after sleeping with her. Narrator: 'Oh, my God... I'm dating Ron Howard's girlfriend.' Actually, she's his daughter. 'But that's kind of worse, don't you think?'

Michael Bluth · Narrator:Fake 'next episode' preview: Michael goes to a doctor about a hernia — 'That is a hernia. I'm gonna send you to my guy at Hoag Hospital. They call him the Bulge Whisperer. He does 20 of these a week.'

Conan O'Brien · Rocky Richter · Andy Richter:POST-CREDITS PREVIEW: Andy Richter's identical quintuplet brother Rocky hosts Conan's show in his place. Conan: 'We've got a pilot who crashes planes, and you're an actor who crashes pilots.'

Rocky Richter:Rocky/Andy: 'Yeah, that's really funny. You know what else would be funny? If I ripped that red rug right off your head and turned you into Ron Howard.'