The Car Pool Lane

Larry · Jeff:Yeah. How do you work a glue gun? Oh, yeah, like I know how to work a glue gun.

Larry · Jeff:Get the violin out. That's pretty sad, yeah.

Jeff:It is weird to ask a guy, you know his father just died, can we use your tickets? It is kind of tacky to do that.

Larry:Marty, I know you're still in mourning, but is there any... I feel your grief, but are you gonna use those tickets?

Larry:If the subject of baseball comes up, it comes up, that's all.

Marty:Little turkey action today. Turkey today.

Marty:Great course, have you played it? Uh no, I'm a Jew.

Larry:Hey, if you're a little lonely, you need a little companionship at the game, if you want me to keep you company, I'd be happy to do it.

Larry · Marty:What about your dad's seat? It's spoken for.

Larry · Jeff:The tip, remember the weatherman's tip? / The statute of limitations has gotta be up on that, no?

Larry:I'm trying to get out of jury duty today. They hate people in the entertainment industry.

Larry:I would serve if they made me the foreman, but... I can't serve under another foreman.

Cheryl · Larry:That's pretty high up in the alphabet. I'm just joking around.

Nat:Do I look like some kind of beatnik? I'm not gonna... with the marijuana.

Larry:My cousin once stole an Almond Joy from me. It was upsetting at the time, but, um...

Larry:I don't know if I could be impartial, Mr. Condon, given that the defendant is a Negro.

Larry:I'm not looking for a sound system, my friend.

Drug Dealer:Look, you can pay me $200 bucks or go fuck yourself. I don't need to sell the drugs, the drugs'll sell themselves.

Larry:I'm not gonna use the carpool lane by myself. 'Cause l... I don't want to.

Larry:I'm not gonna use the carpool lane by myself. 'Cause l... I don't want to.

Monena:Hey, Daddy. You wanna date with Mama?

Larry · Monena:See, actually, I'm not really interested in any sex, per se. Per... you one of them freaky motherfuckers or something?

Monena · Larry:Exactly, I can give four blowjobs an hour. Four blowjobs an hour? Yes, I'm good.

Monena:Honey, I got a red snapper that talks to you. You know what it's saying? I'm charging way too much.

Larry:Are you familiar with Henry Clay? He was the Great Compromiser. A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied.

Monena · Larry:That's two tickets. I'm meeting a friend there actually. No, I'm gonna go to the game or you're gonna take me back to the corner or I'm gonna call my motherfucking pimp.

Monena:Ow, baseball! I ain't never been to no baseball game. This gonna be cute.

Monena:I know the seats ain't way the fuck up here. You got a problem with the seats? You said we had good seats, club seats and shit.

Monena · Larry:I will pull a titty out in this thing. Don't... I will pull a titty out... Don't you dare do that.

Larry · Marty:Your father's dead. It's a memorial. We used to go to games together. It makes me feel close to him.

Larry:If you're ever looking for a good blowjob at a reasonable rate... she's your gal.

Larry:Hey, Leo, why don't you give him a push?

Larry:I didn't pick her up for sex. I picked her up so I could use the diamond lane.

Marty:Forget everything you've ever thought about golf.

Larry:It's not my marijuana! I was just holding the jacket! This isn't even my jacket! It doesn't even fit me!

Monena:You don't need no damn marijuana. I got the best shit in town. Chronic.

Monena:What the fuck is schwag? You don't even know what you bought.

Monena:Tomorrow? This ain't motherfucking pussy on layaway!

Monena:You trying to be hip all and shit.

Larry:Yeah yeah, which you proceeded to blow.

Monena · Nat:Look what we got for you. Oh, that's a joint. Yeah, this is a joint. Very good, Daddy.

Larry · Nat:It's a reefer. / Yeah, absolutely. You light it up. You go like this. Put it in your mouth... You gotta inhale. Hold it in your lungs.

Nat:Dis chronic is the shizmik. For shizzle my nizzle.

Nat:Gei kucken ahfen yam.

Nat:You're not gonna do a fuckin' thing! TV TV TV, that's all you like to do! Read a fucking book!

Nat:You know something? This stuff? I can see. I swear to you, I'm not lying to you. You're coming through so crystal clear. It's a miracle.

Nat:Oh my God. It's a hooker!

Monena:Mr. Owe-Monena-$200. You said five hours and it was seven, honey.

Judge · Larry:Well, Mr. David, what do you have to say for yourself? Well, you see, Your Honor, my father has this condition.