When Zapp Brannigan is canceled for crude behavior, Leela takes over as captain of the Nimbus on a critical mission.
WAR
57
Wins Above Replacement
“Zapp Gets Canceled” ranks #83 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 78.1 — Elite. The episode packs 74 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Zapp Brannigan landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Zapp: I now know there's a difference between right and wrong. One of them gets you canceled.
Zapp Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback DOOP Admiral · Fry: What a wimp! Captains need to be ruthless. Women belong in the kitchen, fixing me a sweet durian pie. That's an offensive stereotype. Leela's terrible at baking.
Zapp Brannigan: You expect me to think without a loofah? Where's my loofah? You! You're the loofah.
Kif · Zapp: He made me watch him perform an erotic fan dance with a ping-pong paddle and a no-show sock. - It was a different time! - It was yesterday!
Kif Zapp Escalation Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Professor Farnsworth: Next item of business. We have... one, two, three office chairs for sale.
All Jokes — 74 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Zapp Brannigan: Captain's log. Stardate, National Donut Day.
Zapp Brannigan: Like that ball bearing I once mistook for a mint.
Zapp Brannigan: Pray fetch my travel tub. I do my best thinking in the shower.
Kif: Could you at least close the curtain, sir?
Kif Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat Zapp Brannigan: You expect me to think without a loofah? Where's my loofah? You! You're the loofah.
Zapp Brannigan: Ah-ha! Water! Fire's mortal enemy!
Kif: Your shower depleted the ship's three-year supply, sir.
Kif Escalation Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Zapp Brannigan: I can end this battle with two words. 'We surrender.'
Zapp Brannigan: Sign this certificate of defeat, so I can show my mom.
Zapp Brannigan: Big confident dot on the I.
Zapp Brannigan: Oh-ho. You're juicier than I thought, Kif.
Kif: I have had it! I'm through putting up with your... crap!
Kif Escalation Character Comedy Zapp Brannigan: It's pronounced compliment.
Fry: Do you think it's me?
Fry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Fry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Leela: A recurring dream. That I can't wake up from. Who wants cake? There's one handful left. I'll have it.
Leela Deadpan/Understatement Escalation Leela · Bender: Who wants cake? There's one handful left. I'll have it.
Hyper-Chicken Lawyer: I say, I say, present!
Judge · Hyper-Chicken Lawyer: You're representing both sides in this case? Till my wings give out, Your Honor. I'm going to allow this.
Zapp Brannigan: It was a joke. Literally everyone was laughing except Kif.
Zapp Brannigan · Kif: That was just locker room talk. It was a Halloween costume. It was a different time! It was yesterday!
Kif · Zapp: He made me watch him perform an erotic fan dance with a ping-pong paddle and a no-show sock. - It was a different time! - It was yesterday!
Kif Zapp Escalation Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Hyper-Chicken Lawyer: So you admit it! Your Honor, I have reached a verdict. I find my client, Zapp Brannigan, guilty.
Judge · Zapp Brannigan: Why are you massaging me? You just seem so tense. Also, you should smile more. You're prettier when you smile.
Zapp Brannigan: Dating a woman over 35?
Zapp Brannigan: The second-worst punishment.
Hyper-Chicken Lawyer: Frivolous poultry? You insult me, sir!
Fry: So you're gonna be Kif's commanding lobster?
Fry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Kif: Psst. Stinky needs changing.
Kif Character Comedy Visual Gag Bender: I, Bender, humbly accept this prestigious appointment. Also, it comes with double salary.
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Professor Farnsworth: Next item of business. We have... one, two, three office chairs for sale.
Zapp Brannigan: I'm here for the sensitivity training, and, uh, also, do you have a better-looking sister?
Fellow sensitivity training attendee: Indecent exposure! You all saw it, right? You wanna see it again?
Multiple sensitivity training attendees: I could barely see it the first time. I've seen brighter. Yeah, well, it's not about the brightness. It's about the color temperature!
Zapp Brannigan · Fellow attendee: You're obviously not the type to waste food. You should talk, you family-sized bucket of lard-ass!
Zapp Brannigan: Wow, you're ugly.
Dr. Kind: It feels like this! This isn't some woke-ass seminar!
Fellow attendee: Hm, never been there. Sounds exotic.
DOOP Admiral: Also, we want to show we care about looking like we care about hiring women.
Leela: Wow, it's huge! It's like a Princess cruise ship with laser cannons!
Leela Observational Visual Gag Leela: Dear Captain's Diary. If you're not me, don't read this. We're preparing to make first contact with a primitive civilization. Anyway, G2G. TTYL. PS, Fry looks cute.
Leela Character Comedy Observational Leela: A bucket on a rope. Sorry you can't come, Bender. Your robot technology might scare them.
Leela Irony/Sarcasm Visual Gag Bender: Hope my robot technology isn't scaring you. And now, to stop it.
Bender Character Comedy Visual Gag Airee: But now, we know intelligent life exists, flying among the stars in a bucket.
Airee Irony/Sarcasm Observational Tactillian alien: They have fewer knobs, but not none!
Airee: No kidding. You traveled in a bucket.
Airee Deadpan/Understatement Callback Callback Dr. Kind · Fellow attendee: Brush harder, tubby! You can't yell at me. You're on your short arms. I yell at any height I want!
Dr. Kind: I'm going to take a shower... right here on the bridge!
Dr. Kind Escalation Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Fry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Tactillian alien: Fresh from the hole.
Tactillians: Get out of our air!
Leela: That sounds like a really boring casino.
Leela Deadpan/Understatement Observational DOOP Admiral: Not a lotta air out there, and what we do have is, like, 50% burp.
Fry · Leela: Our captain will gladly engage in the knobbling. - I will? I'd rather not. I said knobble!
Multiple sensitivity training attendees: Let's find out. Man. It does stink. It's like rotten flesh floating in a puddle of vomit. You wish. It's a durian!
Fellow attendee: My God. It actually has stink lines.
Dr. Kind: Now, who's the fat, incontinent moron?
Fellow attendee: Hey, man, that's catchy! What song is that playing on the emergency siren?
Character · Another: What song is that playing on the emergency siren? - It's the emergency siren! We're under attack!
Zapp Brannigan: Jumping Judas. I've never seen a simulation so realistic. Is it 'okay' to hit on a simulation?
Dr. Kind: It was a teachable moment.
Dr. Kind Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fellow attendee: So, our ship was real? And the simulation was simulated?
Dr. Kind: One. Enough to befoul this planet's air supply for centuries!
DOOP Admiral · Fry: What a wimp! Captains need to be ruthless. Women belong in the kitchen, fixing me a sweet durian pie. That's an offensive stereotype. Leela's terrible at baking.
Zapp Brannigan: I now know there's a difference between right and wrong. One of them gets you canceled.
Zapp: I now know there's a difference between right and wrong. One of them gets you canceled.
Zapp Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dr. Kind's recording: Your eight-hour sensitivity training is complete. Please deposit me...
Airee: I declare the groping optional. Where do I sign?
Zapp Brannigan: It's pronounced velour.
DOOP Admiral: What do you think this is, the Peace Corps? Get out!
DOOP officer: What do you think this is, the Peace Corps? Get out!
Fry: No, you have something better. You have what it takes to be Leela.
Fry Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Tactillian alien · Leela: May I slurp your cheek clean with my tendrils? Eh, sure. And thanks for asking first.
Leela: Ew, blech! But also yum.
Leela Setup/Punchline Escalation