The Futurama Mystery Liberry

LeVar Burton hologram:Oh! Hi, kids! I'm an unlicensed hologram of LeVar Burton.

LeVar Burton hologram:So, throw another book on the fire and settle in...

Granny character:Don't look for clues! Look for the damn thimble!

Granny character:It's daytime, you big stupid.

Dad character:You know she's got severe dementia.

Dad character:You never had a chair.

Dad character:I carefully hid it along with my emergency vodka.

Lancy · Dad character:What time is it now? / I don't know! The clock was stolen!

Andi:Why can't you just call me your friend Andi?

Andi · Lancy:It's just called the baseball team! / Because you're on it. / Before that, it was called the boys' baseball team.

Boy character:So she's the boy who took my spot.

Andi · Boy character:Why don't you just say I've got a great curveball? / I don't know. 'Cause I'm insecure?

Boy character:I'll handle this immediate area right around here.

Biff · Unknown Smardy Boy:The Smardy Boys! / The Smardy Boys!

Chud:Why can't you just call me your pal Chud? You somehow feel obligated to comment on my weight?

Other boy:I call him Chubbo.

Andi:Why?!

Smardy Boy:Step on it, Chubbo! I mean, if your jalopy can even go uphill with you in it.

Chud:Ah! That's it! I can't go on living. I'm driving off the cliff!

Chud:And... here we are at Lancy's house! I must've made a wrong turn at the cliff.

Smardy Boy · Chud:Chud, did you eat Andi's mitt? / Yes, but not the other stuff!

Character:Shploikees! The whole house is gone!

Tom Snift:Why can't you just call me the inventor?

Tom Snift:A little sound can get out, but that's it.

Dad character:Hurry! We can still save my emergency vodka! And my daughter.

Chud/Andi:You can count on your bitter, degraded sidekicks.

Chud/Andi:Enjoy the hole!

Bender as mailman:Ah, oui! Alcoholism.

Professor Farnsworth:Or perhaps perpetrator. I could never get a straight answer.

Fry:Do you accept Belgian waffles?

Zoidberg:They say it can crank anything!

Professor · Bender:Also, how's our fuel supply? / Delicious.

Gray Warbler:I addressed it to the wrong professor.

Dr. Geology:Ooh, I love it when you speak European.

Professor:Zoidy, no! You stupid lemming!

Gray Warbler:Where in butt's ass is my fiancé?

Professor:You're a priceless fossil dating to geologic antiquity!

Professor:I shall call it, 'the theory of Plate Tectonics!'

Gray Warbler · Professor:Uh, which one are you again? / I don't remember. / Eh, whatever. Who cares?

LeVar Burton hologram:Oh, wait. I read them out of order. Anyway...

Character · Wikipedia Brown:Here's your bike back! / That solves the mystery of the missing bike!

Wikipedia Brown:That's me, lady. Gimme 25 cents!

Lolly:And I'm his bodyguard Lolly. I like to punch people.

Claws Pinchy:O-On the surface of the sun! W-With my girlfriend!

Wikipedia Brown:The girlfriend part doesn't ring true! Arrest him, Lolly!

Wikipedia's Dad:Two murderers and one unlicensed hotdog vendor.

Dad:In your garage, talkin' to you, you id-jit!

Character:loiterin' in an alley with the other local toughs, smokin' a lollipop.

Dad · Character:He went to the chair for that taffy caper. / That's the way to go. Sittin' down.

Wikipedia Brown:Hell no! I don't know you! I'm not lendin' you my magnifying glass!

Neil deGrasse Tyson:So, that's where it came from. The Big Bang.

Wikipedia Brown:Of course! It was so obvious!

Characters:It was the Big Bang guy! Get him!

Neil deGrasse Tyson · LeVar Burton hologram:You got a place I can hide where no one ever goes? / Sure! Right over here.

LeVar Burton hologram:And remember, in space, no one can hear you read.