Godfellas

Fry:Space pirates? You know, pirates, but in space.

Space Pirate:Afore I send thee to Davey Jarg's locker!

Bender:Hey! Keep it down, you kids! I'm trying to take a nap!

Leela:That's not torpedo three! Not at all! Damn you, Fry and Lee... la!

Space Pirate Captain:Too late I realize that me children are me only real treasures.

Fry:We can't catch him even if we rub the engine with cheetah blood?

Leela:I don't know how to say this... But Bender is doomed to drift through space. Forever.

Fry:He always wanted to drift forever... But through the American Southwest.

Bender:I'm gonna spend eternity alone with barely any swag. Ooh!

Bender:Wow, ostentatious. Except what good is a candelabra without...?

Bender:Oh, cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee.

Bender:The only thing that keeps me sane... Is the thought that I have all eternity in which to perfect my art.

Bender:Now, when I'm found in a million years, people will know what the score was.

Bender:It could hurt slightly.

Malachi:Holy frijoles. All bow before the great Metal Lord.

Bender:Those peewees think I'm God, huh? Hard to blame them.

Bender:It means 'He who really loves the Metal Lord.' Listen here, time for a religious donation. Hand over your wallet!

Malachi · Bender:But we are a poor and simple folk. Poor? Oh, crap!

Bender:Gag unto me with a spoon. It's time I laid down a few commandments.

Bender:Behold, the one commandment: Make it a double!

Fry:Hooray! People are paying attention to me.

Leela · Helper:His name is Helper. He is eager to be your new best friend. Hello, chum. Miss your buddy?

Helper:No. I just thought you would enjoy that for a moment.

Bender · Malachi:Yes, tonight is kind of special. Did you rip off your arm as a joke?

Malachi:Nay. Like most of your followers, I was maimed building the great brewery.

Malachi:And, of course, the liquor industry attracted organized crime.

Bender:This looks like a job for God.

Bender:That was a practice miracle. Who's next?

Malachi:When you're writing the Bible, you might want to omit that last miracle.

Father Changstein el Gamahl:We could join together in prayer. But is there anything useful we can do? No.

Gypsy · Fry:I am your friend, Bonder. Bonder? Is it really you? Yes. I am fine. Give the gypsy $10.

Gypsy · Fry:You want false hope or not? Only if there's no real hope.

Father Changstein el Gamahl:They'd let me use it to find Bender? What am I, psychic? I mean, yes. I'm sure they will. Yes.

Bender:How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass?

Bender:What part of nay doesn't thou understand?

Fry:You can't give up hope just because it's hopeless. You gotta hope even more and cover your ears and go, 'Blah, blah!'

Bender:Now that's one Bible that doesn't disappoint.

Malachi:Convert them? To radioactive vapor!

Malachi Jr.:Look, Daddy, I'm hugging God.

Bender:Hello? Is anyone still alive? How about in the porno theater? Don't be embarrassed.

Bender:Who would have known playing God could have such terrible consequences?

Fry:None of that 'huddled for warmth' crap.

Monk:Please stand to one side to let faster pilgrims by.

Bender:But I only know enough binary to ask for the bathroom. Speak English?

Bender · God Entity:What are you, a galactic computer? Possible. I am user-Friendly, my good chum.

Monk:There he is! No. No, wait. No.

Fry · Monk:Like a giant karaoke machine? Not really. Want to see our giant karaoke machine? Not really.

Monk:He speaks out of love for his friend. Perhaps that love is God.

Monk:Actually, we only practice martial arts as meditation. We are strictly nonviolent.

Bender · God Entity:Do you know what I'll do before I do it? Yes. What if I do something different? Then I don't know that. Cool, cool.

God/Galaxy Entity:You must use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

Bender · God Entity:Or a guy who burns a bar for insurance money! Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing.

God Entity:When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Fry · Monks:Has anyone out there seen Bender? No! Quit asking!

Fry:I know he was evil, and on more than one occasion... He actually stole my blood.

Leela:This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing ever to happen.

Bender:Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack! He pretty much told me so!

God Entity:When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.