Future Stock

Professor Farnsworth · stockholders:Where am I? Move forward! Walk into the light!

Professor Farnsworth:Oh, God! I'm dead! Well, no matter.

Professor Farnsworth:Thank you all for coming. I don't recognize any of you, nor can I recall why I am here.

corporate narrator:Planet Express is on the move! For this hip, young delivery company, tomorrow is today... and today is yesterday! You heard me.

Professor Farnsworth:Watching myself work makes me hungry. Help me find food.

Fry:I'll not only find it, I'll help you do more to it.

Bender:A Bot-Mitzvah! Shalom, hunger. Shalom, free food.

robot · Bender · other character:No shellfish! - That is so unfair. - Tell me about it.

Fry · robot:So you guys don't believe in Robot-Jesus? He was built and was well-programmed, but he wasn't our messiah.

Professor Farnsworth:It's been a terrible year. The company is on the verge of bankruptcy.

Professor Farnsworth:The blue pie slice represents the money we earned. The green slice represents an $8 bank error in our favor.

Dr. Zoidberg:I'll kill you! I own one share of Planet kajiggers, so I'm entitled to some answers.

Dr. Zoidberg:Question: Why does no one visit me in my home?

Amy:Your apartment smells like Polygrip and cat pee!

That Guy:This is perfect for me!

That Guy:You didn't let me finish! I was going to say 'free food'!

Joe:When I was frozen, carrots ruled the earth. But now they don't. It takes some getting used to.

Fry:Bone-itis? That's a funny name for a horrible disease.

That Guy:There was no cure. One drug company was close... but I arranged a hostile takeover and sold its assets. Made 100 mil.

caveman:The hardest thing was seeing my wife on display in the British Museum.

That Guy:That dance wasn't that safe.

That Guy:Awesome. Awesome to the max!

Bender:Come on! I've got a lot of ransom notes to send!

Professor Farnsworth · someone:I move that everyone comes over... to snuggle my cat! - Second.

Amy · someone:I move your cat stinks and is ugly! - Second.

Professor Farnsworth · someone:And my cat smells good and is pretty. - Second.

Fry:I nominate that guy. Because he knows about business and stuff and has a tie.

Dr. Zoidberg:Shares still count if they were washed, right?

Scruffy:Hold on! Scruffy votes his 40,000 shares for the stranger.

Scruffy:Scruffy believes in this company.

Professor Farnsworth:And I'm voting against the cat-hater! Isn't that right, kitty?

Professor Farnsworth:Hey! You ate my change!

That Guy:Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?

That Guy:There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?

Dr. Zoidberg:Excuse me, which one do people like to hug?

That Guy:Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks don't look back... because they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep.

That Guy:Package delivery?! Oh, God!

Professor Farnsworth:Business plan? Yes. I keep it here, right next to my heart.

That Guy · Professor Farnsworth:This is no business plan, it's an escape plan. So long, suckers!

That Guy:Fry, as a fellow '80s dollar jockey, I'm making you my new vice chairman.

That Guy:That's what I call a hostile makeover. Hair gel?

Fry:No, thanks. I make my own.

That Guy:We'll shoot straight to the top and stay there, like Cindy Lauper!

Bender:We can't compete! Her company is big and evil. We're small and neutral.

That Guy:Switzerland is small and neutral. We're Germany, ambitious and misunderstood.

That Guy:Everyone wants to be like Germany. Do we have the strength of will?

Bender:Yes, my liege.

Bender:Look at my butt!

Mom:You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button!

Mom:Any button! They all retaliate!

Fry:Get your stinking trike off me, you damn, dirty ape!

Fry · That Guy:Work really hard? - No. - Oh, thank God!

That Guy:It's time to update our company's image... and give it the sleek, dazzling veneer of the 1980s!

That Guy:Delivery has nothing to do with our business.

That Guy:I don't know what we do. Just kidding. What are we, a bus or something?

Fry:It grows the brand.

Dr. Zoidberg:Sold!

Bender:You got fleeced. I would have settled for a hard roll with ketchup inside.

Mom:I'm sick of hearing about those turtle squirts!

Mom:Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

Fry:Don't worry. Let me worry about 'blank.'

That Guy:Good. I also would have accepted: 'Blank? Blank! You're not looking at the big picture!'

That Guy:You get back to the farm, shift some paradigms.

That Guy:I'll handle this, Fry. You get back to the farm, shift some paradigms.

Fry:Call me a booger-blaster! I'll blast a booger...

Leela:That Guy is a con man, and you've been hypnotized by his bologna!

Fry · secretary:Suz, have I changed? - No, Mr. Fry. - Thanks, doll.

Leela:Right. We're not a traditional family like the Murphys... or the lesbian coven, but we're a family.

That Guy:I don't want ass prints on my new door!

Fry:I had no idea the company would be sold! I was just an innocent suck-up!

Ms. Johnson:I don't know. I'm a program in the intercom.

Fry:I have more important things to do today than laugh and clap my hands.

Old Man:I'll vote it down like a raise for school teachers!

Leela · Professor Farnsworth:Zoidberg owned 51% of the company? - The shares were worthless! He asked for toilet paper!

Walt:The ballot was confusing!

Amy:I'm a millionaire! Suddenly I have an opinion about the capital gains tax!

Dr. Zoidberg:Wait! My sandwich! Has it also appreciated in value? Please!

Amy · Dr. Zoidberg:You didn't refrigerate it, spineless! - You had to drag spines into this!

That Guy:I'm an '80s guy. Friendship means for $2... I beat you till you got detached retinas.

That Guy · Fry:My bones! Oh, my God! His bone-itis!

That Guy:I was so busy being an '80s guy, I forgot to cure it!

That Guy:My only regret is... that I have... bone-itis!

Fry:I'll be whatever I want to do!

Professor Farnsworth:Millionaires nothing! The stock's only worth three kajiggers!

Dr. Zoidberg:Once again, the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio... pays off for the hungry investor!