With Planet Express in financial trouble, Fry nominates a flashy businessman from the 1980s to replace Professor Farnsworth as CEO of the company.
WAR
70.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Future Stock” ranks #24 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.8 — Elite. The episode packs 85 scored jokes at 4.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with That Guy landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
That Guy: My only regret is... that I have... bone-itis!
That Guy Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Dr. Zoidberg: Once again, the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio... pays off for the hungry investor!
That Guy · Fry: My bones! Oh, my God! His bone-itis!
Scruffy: Hold on! Scruffy votes his 40,000 shares for the stranger.
Scruffy Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch That Guy: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks don't look back... because they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep.
That Guy Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 85 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Professor Farnsworth · stockholders: Where am I? Move forward! Walk into the light!
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, God! I'm dead! Well, no matter.
Professor Farnsworth: Thank you all for coming. I don't recognize any of you, nor can I recall why I am here.
corporate narrator: Planet Express is on the move! For this hip, young delivery company, tomorrow is today... and today is yesterday! You heard me.
Professor Farnsworth: Watching myself work makes me hungry. Help me find food.
Fry: I'll not only find it, I'll help you do more to it.
Fry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Bender: A Bot-Mitzvah! Shalom, hunger. Shalom, free food.
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy robot · Bender · other character: No shellfish! - That is so unfair. - Tell me about it.
Fry · robot: So you guys don't believe in Robot-Jesus? He was built and was well-programmed, but he wasn't our messiah.
Professor Farnsworth: It's been a terrible year. The company is on the verge of bankruptcy.
Professor Farnsworth: The blue pie slice represents the money we earned. The green slice represents an $8 bank error in our favor.
Dr. Zoidberg: I'll kill you! I own one share of Planet kajiggers, so I'm entitled to some answers.
Dr. Zoidberg: Question: Why does no one visit me in my home?
Amy: Your apartment smells like Polygrip and cat pee!
Amy Observational Cringe/Discomfort That Guy: This is perfect for me!
That Guy: You didn't let me finish! I was going to say 'free food'!
Joe: When I was frozen, carrots ruled the earth. But now they don't. It takes some getting used to.
Joe Absurdist Observational Fry: Bone-itis? That's a funny name for a horrible disease.
Fry Wordplay/Pun Observational That Guy: There was no cure. One drug company was close... but I arranged a hostile takeover and sold its assets. Made 100 mil.
That Guy Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback caveman: The hardest thing was seeing my wife on display in the British Museum.
caveman Dark/Subversive Observational That Guy: That dance wasn't that safe.
That Guy Observational Deadpan/Understatement That Guy: Awesome. Awesome to the max!
Bender: Come on! I've got a lot of ransom notes to send!
Bender Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Professor Farnsworth · someone: I move that everyone comes over... to snuggle my cat! - Second.
Amy · someone: I move your cat stinks and is ugly! - Second.
Professor Farnsworth · someone: And my cat smells good and is pretty. - Second.
Fry: I nominate that guy. Because he knows about business and stuff and has a tie.
Fry Character Comedy Observational Dr. Zoidberg: Shares still count if they were washed, right?
Scruffy: Hold on! Scruffy votes his 40,000 shares for the stranger.
Scruffy Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Scruffy: Scruffy believes in this company.
Scruffy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Professor Farnsworth: And I'm voting against the cat-hater! Isn't that right, kitty?
Professor Farnsworth: Hey! You ate my change!
That Guy: Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
That Guy: There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
Dr. Zoidberg: Excuse me, which one do people like to hug?
That Guy: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks don't look back... because they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep.
That Guy Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch That Guy: Package delivery?! Oh, God!
Professor Farnsworth: Business plan? Yes. I keep it here, right next to my heart.
That Guy · Professor Farnsworth: This is no business plan, it's an escape plan. So long, suckers!
That Guy: Fry, as a fellow '80s dollar jockey, I'm making you my new vice chairman.
That Guy: That's what I call a hostile makeover. Hair gel?
Fry: No, thanks. I make my own.
Fry Visual Gag Character Comedy That Guy: We'll shoot straight to the top and stay there, like Cindy Lauper!
Bender: We can't compete! Her company is big and evil. We're small and neutral.
Bender Character Comedy Observational That Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral. We're Germany, ambitious and misunderstood.
That Guy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch That Guy: Everyone wants to be like Germany. Do we have the strength of will?
That Guy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bender Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Mom: You call that a pressed ham? Walt, hit the retaliate button!
Mom Escalation Character Comedy Mom: Any button! They all retaliate!
Mom Escalation Character Comedy Fry: Get your stinking trike off me, you damn, dirty ape!
Fry Observational Visual Gag Fry · That Guy: Work really hard? - No. - Oh, thank God!
That Guy: It's time to update our company's image... and give it the sleek, dazzling veneer of the 1980s!
That Guy: Delivery has nothing to do with our business.
That Guy: I don't know what we do. Just kidding. What are we, a bus or something?
Fry Character Comedy Observational Bender: You got fleeced. I would have settled for a hard roll with ketchup inside.
Bender Escalation Character Comedy Mom: I'm sick of hearing about those turtle squirts!
Mom Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Mom: Jam a bastard in it, you crap!
Mom Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Fry: Don't worry. Let me worry about 'blank.'
Fry Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential That Guy: Good. I also would have accepted: 'Blank? Blank! You're not looking at the big picture!'
That Guy Escalation Meta/Self-Referential Callback That Guy: You get back to the farm, shift some paradigms.
That Guy: I'll handle this, Fry. You get back to the farm, shift some paradigms.
Fry: Call me a booger-blaster! I'll blast a booger...
Fry Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Leela: That Guy is a con man, and you've been hypnotized by his bologna!
Leela Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Fry · secretary: Suz, have I changed? - No, Mr. Fry. - Thanks, doll.
Leela: Right. We're not a traditional family like the Murphys... or the lesbian coven, but we're a family.
Leela Observational Absurdist That Guy: I don't want ass prints on my new door!
Fry: I had no idea the company would be sold! I was just an innocent suck-up!
Fry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Ms. Johnson: I don't know. I'm a program in the intercom.
Fry: I have more important things to do today than laugh and clap my hands.
Fry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Old Man: I'll vote it down like a raise for school teachers!
Old Man Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Leela · Professor Farnsworth: Zoidberg owned 51% of the company? - The shares were worthless! He asked for toilet paper!
Walt: The ballot was confusing!
Walt Observational Character Comedy Amy: I'm a millionaire! Suddenly I have an opinion about the capital gains tax!
Amy Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dr. Zoidberg: Wait! My sandwich! Has it also appreciated in value? Please!
Amy · Dr. Zoidberg: You didn't refrigerate it, spineless! - You had to drag spines into this!
That Guy: I'm an '80s guy. Friendship means for $2... I beat you till you got detached retinas.
That Guy Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch That Guy · Fry: My bones! Oh, my God! His bone-itis!
That Guy: I was so busy being an '80s guy, I forgot to cure it!
That Guy Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch That Guy: My only regret is... that I have... bone-itis!
That Guy Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Fry: I'll be whatever I want to do!
Fry Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Professor Farnsworth: Millionaires nothing! The stock's only worth three kajiggers!
Dr. Zoidberg: Once again, the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio... pays off for the hungry investor!