Bender grows jealous when Fry attempts to clone Seymour, his beloved fossilized dog.
WAR
35.2
Wins Above Replacement
“Jurassic Bark” ranks #122 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 74.8 — Great. The episode packs 69 scored jokes at 4.4 per minute, averaging 6.6 on craft and 6.4 on impact, with Fry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bender: Because I love you. Not in the way of the ancient Greeks, but the way a robot loves a human, a human loves a dog, and occasionally, a gorilla loves a kitty.
Bender Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Bender: But if you love your dog so much, maybe you'd rather play fetch!
Bender Character Comedy Escalation Bender: I'm 40 percent dolomite!
Bender Callback Character Comedy Callback Fry · Bender: He could dig up bones. / Hello? Charlemagne?
Bender: Interesting. No, wait, the other thing. Tedious.
Bender Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 69 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bender: And nothing in my head.
Bender Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Fry · Bender: Amazing! That's why they call you Bender the Magnificent. / No, it isn't.
Fry Bender Setup/Punchline Deadpan/Understatement Bender: Interesting. No, wait, the other thing. Tedious.
Bender Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Fry · Bender: You lived before you met me? / Sure. Lots of people did.
Museum Guide: Truly, they were as gods who built this place.
Museum Guide: Scientists theorize it was used to gently discipline the delivery boy.
Fry: It was also used to move pizzas and crush rats.
Fry Escalation Observational Museum Guide: I am a volunteer housewife with 45 minutes of orientation and a Harlequin romance about archeologists.
Fry: Don't wave your fancy degrees at me.
Fry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Fry: Pizza delivery for Mr. Seymour Asses?
Fry Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Customer · Fry: I hope that in time you'll realize what an idiot you've been. / I wouldn't count on that.
Fry: Here. But if Mr. Panucci asks, your name is Seymour Asses.
Fry Callback Character Comedy Callback Fry: You're not constantly judging me, like all the other dogs.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy Fry: You call no man 'Mister.'
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy Fry: Well, goodbye. Live long and prosper.
Fry Character Comedy Observational Leela: That's the least appetizing calzone I've ever seen.
Leela Visual Gag Observational Fry: Ow! Ow! I'm taking him home and I'd like to see anyone try and stop me. Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ah!
Fry Physical/Slapstick Irony/Sarcasm Fry · Leela · Fry: That's like digging up Lassie and putting her in the Louvre. / Lassie is on display in the Louvre. / I know. I was deliberately describing a similar situation.
Leela: Always whining that people don't treat their ancestors' bones with respect.
Leela Dark/Subversive Observational Fry · Fry: Protesting never works. / You're right. I'll give it a shot!
Fry Fry Absurdist Character Comedy Crowd: What do you want? Fry's dog! When do you want it? Fry's dog!
Crowd Absurdist Setup/Punchline Bender: It says here that this part of The Hustle implores the gods to grant a favor, usually a Trans Am.
Fry: Just like that huge mushroom in my shower.
Fry Observational Character Comedy Mr. Panucci: You been swimming in the sewer again? You rascal.
Customer · Mr. Panucci: There's dog fur on my slice! / No, that's vermicelli. No fur in here.
Customer · Fry: He can do two things at one time: eat and swim. / Three things!
Dr. Beeler: You'll come down with a fever of some sort.
Dr. Beeler: Or as some call it, the Beelersaurus.
Fry: He was once intimate with the leg of a wandering saxophonist.
Fry Observational Character Comedy Dr. Beeler: The 29? Interesting.
Assistant · Bender: I was all in this part! It's magic! / You're not fit to wear Fry's leotard!
Professor: And he's looking for a garbage can to put the rock in. Here you go, buddy.
Bender: A little land mammal.
Bender Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Professor: Look! There's a smidge of toe still in here.
Professor: There's still a creamy core of dog nougat.
Fry: So will Seymour remember how to sing 'Walking on Sunshine'?
Fry Character Comedy Observational Fry: In your face, Grim Reaper! Crappy, ineffective reaper.
Fry Character Comedy Escalation Clone-O-Mat · Professor: The dog says: 'Arf.' Oh-Oh. This may take a while.
Mr. Panucci: Like you got squat to celebrate. You're a delivery boy this millennium and you'll be a delivery boy next millennium.
Mr. Panucci: Or he thinks your pants is too short. Which is crazy, because frankly, you look fabulous. Now get going!
Fry: I.C. Wiener? Oh, crud.
Fry Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Callback Professor: A subscription to the Daily Growl? That's not a reputable journal of opinion.
Bender · Fry · Bender: Why waste time on a creature of inferior intelligence? / Hey, he was smart. He could fetch. / I can fetch!
Fry · Bender: He could dig up bones. / Hello? Charlemagne?
Bender: No one ever asked if Bender would like to live in a tiny little house.
Bender Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Bender: A tiny little house that says 'Bender' on it.
Bender Character Comedy Escalation Fry (answering machine): They're still available for $45 each.
Fry's brother: Hello, first bologna of the new millennium.
Fry's father: I'm telling you, the Y2K computers got him. We'll face burning roads, rivers exploding, calculators transformed into Scud missiles.
Fry's father: It's the Y2K trying to lure us into an ambush. And I ain't buying it. Pass the bologna.
Leela: In case an enemy knocks the laser guns out of our hands and they slide way across the room.
Leela Observational Absurdist Bender: Of course, after he goes, you have to refill the canisters.
Bender Observational Character Comedy Robo-Puppy: Robo-Puppy preparing to lick cheek. Robo-Puppy commencing cheek licking. Licking in progress. Licking complete.
Robo-Puppy: Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert! Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!
Professor: I speak, of course, of molten lava deep within the Earth's core.
Fry: Know ye now what feels like to be dog god!
Fry Character Comedy Escalation Bender: But if we don't perform, in what sense do we have an act?
Bender Observational Character Comedy Bender: But if you love your dog so much, maybe you'd rather play fetch!
Bender Character Comedy Escalation Professor: Indeed. You see, that fossil was made of dolomite, the tough, black mineral that won't cop out when there's heat all about.
Professor: It's dolomite, baby!
Bender: Because I love you. Not in the way of the ancient Greeks, but the way a robot loves a human, a human loves a dog, and occasionally, a gorilla loves a kitty.
Bender Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Bender: I'm 40 percent dolomite!
Bender Callback Character Comedy Callback Bender: Oh, it's hot. Oh, it's very hot!
Bender Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Fry · Cryogenicist: You can't solve all your problems by freezing them. / I think you're forgetting our motto.
Mrs. Fry · Mr. Fry: Sorry we're late. We all got sick from eating bad bologna. / Y2K.
Bender: Hey, where'd everybody go?
Bender Reaction Beat Observational Professor: Let this abomination unto the Lord begin!
Professor: Oh, sure. Smash the smart guy's machine.
Leela: 'Walking on Sunshine' sucks noodles.
Leela Observational Character Comedy