Jurassic Bark

Bender:And nothing in my head.

Fry · Bender:Amazing! That's why they call you Bender the Magnificent. / No, it isn't.

Bender:Interesting. No, wait, the other thing. Tedious.

Fry · Bender:You lived before you met me? / Sure. Lots of people did.

Museum Guide:Truly, they were as gods who built this place.

Museum Guide:Scientists theorize it was used to gently discipline the delivery boy.

Fry:It was also used to move pizzas and crush rats.

Museum Guide:I am a volunteer housewife with 45 minutes of orientation and a Harlequin romance about archeologists.

Fry:Don't wave your fancy degrees at me.

Fry:Pizza delivery for Mr. Seymour Asses?

Customer · Fry:I hope that in time you'll realize what an idiot you've been. / I wouldn't count on that.

Fry:Here. But if Mr. Panucci asks, your name is Seymour Asses.

Fry:You're not constantly judging me, like all the other dogs.

Fry:You call no man 'Mister.'

Fry:Well, goodbye. Live long and prosper.

Leela:That's the least appetizing calzone I've ever seen.

Fry:Ow! Ow! I'm taking him home and I'd like to see anyone try and stop me. Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Ah!

Fry · Leela · Fry:That's like digging up Lassie and putting her in the Louvre. / Lassie is on display in the Louvre. / I know. I was deliberately describing a similar situation.

Leela:Always whining that people don't treat their ancestors' bones with respect.

Fry · Fry:Protesting never works. / You're right. I'll give it a shot!

Crowd:What do you want? Fry's dog! When do you want it? Fry's dog!

Bender:It says here that this part of The Hustle implores the gods to grant a favor, usually a Trans Am.

Fry:Just like that huge mushroom in my shower.

Mr. Panucci:You been swimming in the sewer again? You rascal.

Customer · Mr. Panucci:There's dog fur on my slice! / No, that's vermicelli. No fur in here.

Customer · Fry:He can do two things at one time: eat and swim. / Three things!

Dr. Beeler:You'll come down with a fever of some sort.

Dr. Beeler:Or as some call it, the Beelersaurus.

Fry:He was once intimate with the leg of a wandering saxophonist.

Dr. Beeler:The 29? Interesting.

Assistant · Bender:I was all in this part! It's magic! / You're not fit to wear Fry's leotard!

Professor:And he's looking for a garbage can to put the rock in. Here you go, buddy.

Bender:A little land mammal.

Professor:Look! There's a smidge of toe still in here.

Professor:There's still a creamy core of dog nougat.

Fry:So will Seymour remember how to sing 'Walking on Sunshine'?

Fry:In your face, Grim Reaper! Crappy, ineffective reaper.

Clone-O-Mat · Professor:The dog says: 'Arf.' Oh-Oh. This may take a while.

Mr. Panucci:Like you got squat to celebrate. You're a delivery boy this millennium and you'll be a delivery boy next millennium.

Mr. Panucci:Or he thinks your pants is too short. Which is crazy, because frankly, you look fabulous. Now get going!

Fry:I.C. Wiener? Oh, crud.

Professor:A subscription to the Daily Growl? That's not a reputable journal of opinion.

Bender · Fry · Bender:Why waste time on a creature of inferior intelligence? / Hey, he was smart. He could fetch. / I can fetch!

Fry · Bender:He could dig up bones. / Hello? Charlemagne?

Bender:No one ever asked if Bender would like to live in a tiny little house.

Bender:A tiny little house that says 'Bender' on it.

Fry (answering machine):They're still available for $45 each.

Fry's brother:Hello, first bologna of the new millennium.

Fry's father:I'm telling you, the Y2K computers got him. We'll face burning roads, rivers exploding, calculators transformed into Scud missiles.

Fry's father:It's the Y2K trying to lure us into an ambush. And I ain't buying it. Pass the bologna.

Leela:In case an enemy knocks the laser guns out of our hands and they slide way across the room.

Bender:Of course, after he goes, you have to refill the canisters.

Robo-Puppy:Robo-Puppy preparing to lick cheek. Robo-Puppy commencing cheek licking. Licking in progress. Licking complete.

Robo-Puppy:Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert! Robo-Puppy mistreatment alert!

Professor:I speak, of course, of molten lava deep within the Earth's core.

Fry:Know ye now what feels like to be dog god!

Bender:But if we don't perform, in what sense do we have an act?

Bender:But if you love your dog so much, maybe you'd rather play fetch!

Professor:Indeed. You see, that fossil was made of dolomite, the tough, black mineral that won't cop out when there's heat all about.

Professor:It's dolomite, baby!

Bender:Because I love you. Not in the way of the ancient Greeks, but the way a robot loves a human, a human loves a dog, and occasionally, a gorilla loves a kitty.

Bender:I'm 40 percent dolomite!

Bender:Oh, it's hot. Oh, it's very hot!

Fry · Cryogenicist:You can't solve all your problems by freezing them. / I think you're forgetting our motto.

Mrs. Fry · Mr. Fry:Sorry we're late. We all got sick from eating bad bologna. / Y2K.

Bender:Hey, where'd everybody go?

Professor:Let this abomination unto the Lord begin!

Professor:Oh, sure. Smash the smart guy's machine.

Leela:'Walking on Sunshine' sucks noodles.