When Earth is jeopardized by global warming, the crew attends a conference in Kyoto hosted by Al Gore's head.
WAR
39.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Crimes Of The Hot” ranks #129 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 74.4 — Great. The episode packs 76 scored jokes at 4.4 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Bender landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Bender: Completely out of ice? This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it. Also life.
Bender Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Linda · Morbo: I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool. Windmills do not work that way! Good night!
Fry · Bender: You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gamblers? No. It's just... neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.
Mom: Crap spackle! We'll just call it a sport utility robot and classify it as a light truck.
Mom Observational Dark/Subversive Leela · Bender: What? I've seen you get up off your back tons of times. Those times I was slightly on my side.
All Jokes — 76 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Zoidberg: Hurry up with the water. I'm steaming inside my own shell, I am. It's that hot, it is.
Fry: Man, it's hot. How hot is it? It's so hot, I poured McDonald's coffee in my lap to cool off.
Fry Setup/Punchline Observational Fry: Johnny Carson said it.
Leela · Nibbler: No, Nibbler! Don't drink the pool water! It's full of chlorine. [Nibbler groaning, burping, coughing]
Bender: Lightweights. Oh, wait, chlorine.
Bender Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Announcer: Global Warming or: None Like It Hot!
Educational Film Narrator: You're probably wondering why your ice cream went away. Well, Suzie, the culprit isn't foreigners. It's global warming.
Child · Narrator: Gwobal wap-po? Yeah.
Mr. Sunbeam · Greenhouse Gases: Hello, Earth. Just popping in to brighten your day. La-la-la-la-la-la-la. And now I'll be on my way. Not so fast, sunbeam. We're greenhouse gases. You ain't going nowhere.
Mr. Sunbeam · Announcer: Oh, God, it hurts! Pretty soon, Earth is chock-full of sunbeams... their rotting corpses heating our atmosphere.
Educational Film Narrator · Child: Ever since 2063, we simply drop a giant ice cube... into the ocean every now and then. Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning. And then he gets mad.
Educational Film Narrator: Thus, solving the problem once and for all. But-- Once and for all!
Nixon: President Nixon here. I'm hiring you losers to deliver the ice. And hurry up. I'm sweating like J. Edgar Hoover trying to squeeze into a new girdle.
Nixon Character Comedy Observational Farnsworth: You heard the good news, everyone. Save the Earth, et cetera, et cetera. Bye.
Leela · Farnsworth: Wait. Where do we get the ice? The what? Oh, Halley's comet, of course. The only sufficient source of ice cubes that don't have bugs in them.
Fry · Farnsworth: Wow. Mining a comet. That sounds fun. Yes. There's no safer occupation than mining. Especially when you're perched on a snowball... whipping through space at a million miles an hour. Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Safe.
Fry · Leela: Wow. That ice dispenser's so big the ice crushes you. Yakov Smirnoff said it. No, he didn't.
Fry Leela Wordplay/Pun Meta/Self-Referential Callback Fry: Oh, my God! It's out of ice! Like some outer-space Motel 6.
Fry Observational Character Comedy Bender: Completely out of ice? This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it. Also life.
Bender Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Morbo: Morbo is pleased but sticky.
Morbo Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Noah Character · Other Character: They called me crazy for building this ark. You are crazy. You filled it with same-sex animal couples.
Noah Character: Hey! There are parts of the Bible I like and parts I don't like.
Linda · Morbo: I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool. Windmills do not work that way! Good night!
Bender: Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle. What have you done with your lives?
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bender: Because I also care deeply about things that remind me of myself. Like poor little Shelly here.
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Leela: What could you possibly have in common with this walking soup mix?
Leela Character Comedy Observational Fry · Bender: You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gamblers? No. It's just... neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.
Leela · Bender: What? I've seen you get up off your back tons of times. Those times I was slightly on my side.
Leela: Maybe we should test this erectile dysfunction of yours, Bender.
Bender: That's what I get for sharing my vulnerability with you.
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Zoidberg · Fry: I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine. You've got a degree in baloney.
Leela: You haven't acted this suspicious since I found the 'ape bones' in the basement.
Leela Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Farnsworth: My hip hurts. I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey. I have warranty cards to fill out. I am not just making excuses.
Reporter: His wristwatch is a Casio.
Reporter Observational Deadpan/Understatement Announcer: The inventor of the environment and first emperor of the moon, Al Gore.
Al Gore: I have ridden the mighty moon worm.
Al Gore: As I discuss in my book, Earth in the Balance... and the much more popular Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth...
Wizard/Scientist: Sure, blame the wizards.
Wizard/Scientist: With those, I could open the gate of Girash.
Character: That's a little bright.
Farnsworth: Absolutely not! I won't speak. I've got nothing to hide.
Farnsworth: I demand the floor! Yes, it's your turn to speak. Well, nuts to me. I'm taking the stage.
Farnsworth: Don't use this memory ray so I can remember what happened back then?
Professor Farnsworth: It was October 17 at 1:54 p.m. and 14 birds were flying by the window.
Early Robot: Oh, dear, might I favor master with a tender kiss on the forehead? Oh, I've failed again. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Characters discussing robot: What was that? A flaming burp. Does it always do that? It's not always a burp.
Mom: Crap spackle! We'll just call it a sport utility robot and classify it as a light truck.
Mom Observational Dark/Subversive Farnsworth: Well... I suppose the environment can take one more for the team.
Fry · Leela: That's awful, professor. Especially the making-out part. Yeah, I didn't need to hear that.
Bender: I got a good feeling about this.
Bender Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Al Gore: We must immediately and permanently... shut down, dismantle and destroy all robots!
Al Gore: I must go now to help collect cans on Jupiter. Peace out, y'all.
Bender: Yes! You tried to trick me into coming out of my chest. But who has the beer now?
Bender Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Leela: Strange. Why would Nixon, an awkward, uncomfortable man, throw a party? One of the most social events imaginable?
Leela Character Comedy Observational Leela · Fry: I don't hear any gasping. We all figured that out.
Fry: We can hide you. We'll pile fruit on you and claim you're a bowl.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy Bender: Fry, as you know, there are lots of things I'm willing to kill for. Jewels, vengeance, Father O'Malley's weed whacker.
Bender Character Comedy Escalation Bender: This mindless turtle.
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Fry: Bender, this world isn't good enough for you. Not even close.
Fry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bender: Don't touch my stuff after I'm dead. It's booby-trapped!
Bender Character Comedy Escalation Fry · Robot: Crummy keg, it's completely tapped-- Oh, you're a robot. Don't stop.
Nixon: I'm going out to pick up some smokes. Really good smokes. Two hours.
Nixon Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Nixon: Very well. Agnew, you belong to Wornstrum now.
Nixon Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Bender: Don't tell anybody, but Nixon's about to shut all the robots off and-- What?
Bender: There ain't no turtles where Daddy's going.
Bender Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Robot: Nixon's not bringing the smokes.
Robot Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Bender: Except perhaps you, Hedonism Bot.
Bender Character Comedy Callback Hedonism Bot: I apologize for nothing.
Robot · Bender: To hell with the turtles! No one insults the turtles!
Professor Farnsworth: By my calculations, we'll need the full force of every last robot. So quickly, everyone point your exhaust vents straight upward.
Professor Farnsworth: Some lazy or polite robot is holding it in.
Bender: At least we'll die on our backs, helpless.
Bender Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Bender · Turtle: What the hell are you doing? Hey, are you trying to make me look bad?
Leela · Farnsworth: Hey, professor? Now that the Earth's orbit... is further from the sun, won't that make the year longer? Why, yes. One week longer to be exact.
Nixon: In that case, I hereby declare it Robot Party Week!
Nixon Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy