Farnsworth's clone Cubert teams up with Hermes' son Dwight to launch a newspaper delivery business. Farnsworth and Hermes scoff at the kids' efforts - until the delivery boys accumulate enough capital to buy out Planet Express. Meanwhile, Fry and Leela use Bender to brew their own homemade beer.
WAR
76.5
Wins Above Replacement
“The Route Of All Evil” ranks #18 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 83.2 — Elite. The episode packs 86 scored jokes at 4.8 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Professor Farnsworth landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Mr. Blob: Tell you what. I'll accept their apology when they kiss my ass! Which I don't have.
Mr. Blob Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leela · Cubert · Dwight: They'll make the ship go faster. - And what's your scientific basis for thinking that? - I'm 12.
Professor Farnsworth: Tax dodge, nothing! You take one nap in a ditch at the park... and they start declaring you this and that.
Dwight · Fry: I heard alcohol makes you stupid. - No, I'm... Doesn't.
Bender: We're making beer. I'm the brewery.
Bender Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 86 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Fry: Ah, beer. So many choices. And it makes so little difference.
Fry Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Fry: How about Lobrau? It has dots on it.
Fry Absurdist Character Comedy Bender: Overruled! The choice of champions is Pabst Blue Robot.
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Fry: I can't drink that. The metal shavings make my throat bloody.
Fry Absurdist Dark/Subversive Bender: Baby wants a Zima.
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Leela: The kids at the orphanarium used to do it all the time.
Leela Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Professor Farnsworth: Cursed bacteria of Liberia! My own son, suspended from boarding school.
Professor Farnsworth: I cloned you from one of my warts, and I can send you straight back there.
Amy: What's going on? Is this angry yelling, or busted-hearing-aid yelling?
Amy Observational Character Comedy Leela · Professor Farnsworth: I'm afraid it's both. - What?
Hermes: Everyone cool your daiquiris.
Hermes Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Dwight · Cubert · Dwight: It must be hungry. - Black holes don't need food. - Neither do nerds.
Teacher: You've compressed our lunches to a singularity... for the last time.
Teacher Absurdist Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Dwight: When I re-solidify, I'm gonna put you in a world of goop.
Hermes: I warned you not to use those things!
Hermes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Dwight: Well, well, if it isn't my old friends, Stretch Pants, No Pants... and Idiot.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Bender: We're making beer. I'm the brewery.
Bender Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Fry: I heard alcohol makes you stupid. - No, I'm... Doesn't.
Leela: Alcohol is very, very bad. For children. But once you turn 21... it becomes very, very good.
Leela Observational Irony/Sarcasm Professor Farnsworth: A device that lets anyone sound exactly like me.
Cubert: Good news, everyone. I'm a horse's butt.
Cubert Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Professor Farnsworth: I am? That's not good news at all, you little...
Professor Farnsworth: There is no target consumer. Only targets.
Professor Farnsworth: Targets that will tremble in fear as their new masters hand down edicts... in my glorious, booming voice!
Dwight: Wow! A power stamper.
Dwight Character Comedy Observational Hermes: Now look at all the work I gotta do!
Bender: Yeast? You mean I'll have a life form growing inside me?
Bender Absurdist Character Comedy Bender: It's so beautiful.
Bender Character Comedy Reaction Beat Cubert (using voice device): You must deliver a pizza to Dog Doo 8... a planet at the edge of the universe. Sorry I can't come to say goodbye, but I'm busy inventing useless junk.
Cubert (using voice device): And I smell bad.
Amy: When he got home from the Senate.
Amy Character Comedy Observational Leela: The address was on Dog Doo 8. But the universe ends right after Dog Doo 7.
Leela Absurdist Wordplay/Pun Bender: Lies! Lies and slander! Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed? That's the last straw!
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Hermes: Get a job, you lazy kids.
Hermes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Professor Farnsworth: I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself.
Hermes: Perhaps they've constructed a teddy bear hospital.
Hermes Character Comedy Observational Bender: Who's going to use a delivery service with a kicked sign?
Leela: So your delivery company is just a cute, harmless paper route.
Leela Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Professor Farnsworth: What if a paper were to land in a puddle? Civilization as we know it might get splashed.
Cubert: We're practically old enough to find the Fox Network infantile.
Cubert Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Cubert: Voilà! You got a quarter?
Cubert Visual Gag Misdirection ★ Rewatch Dwight: Man! The ad said to allow four to six seconds for delivery. More like seven.
Dwight Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist Bender: I'm really starting to swell up with beer. I must look ridiculous.
Bender Character Comedy Visual Gag Leela: No. You have a healthy glow.
Leela Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Bender: I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an ale... Botwiser if it's a lager. I hope it's a lager. I can take it to a ball game.
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Cubert · Dwight: There's a crack in the hull here. That could cause explosive decompression. Put a sticker on it.
Hermes: Remember we used to call you that, huh? Tinkler.
Hermes Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Professor Farnsworth: Only the Sunday edition can do's that.
Professor Farnsworth · Cubert: That's a big number, 50. - Yeah. If you're an idiot.
Cubert: Take evasive action! It's closing in. You can't avoid it. It's a cheek-seeker.
Cubert Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hermes: Business is down, so I filed papers to have you all reclassified as slaves.
Hermes Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bender: Need some penny rolls for your profits?
Bender Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Cubert: Aren't you impressed now, Pops? Aren't you? Aren't you?
Cubert Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Professor Farnsworth: In a small way, yes.
Cubert Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Reality TV participant · Amy: I'm burning to death! You know how much an apartment that big would cost on the sun?
Professor Farnsworth: Naturally, we're humiliated. That's why we need you, our loyal crew... to make Planet Express 800% more profitable.
Fry · Professor · Amy · Leela: We don't work for you anymore! - What? - Dwight and Cubert made us an offer. - We're paperboys now.
Hermes · Scruffy: I don't even know who this guy is. - I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
Scruffy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Professor Farnsworth: Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg! They've taken over our company.
Professor Farnsworth: Tax dodge, nothing! You take one nap in a ditch at the park... and they start declaring you this and that.
Bender · Unknown crew member · Cubert · Bender: You rotten kids! - Will you be hiring? - No. - You rotten kids!
Leela · Cubert · Dwight: They'll make the ship go faster. - And what's your scientific basis for thinking that? - I'm 12.
Leela: Push, Bender! Push!
Leela Character Comedy Visual Gag Bender: Oh, it feels like it's trying to push a waterbed out of me.
Bender Character Comedy Absurdist Leela: It's an ale. Five gallons, six ounces.
Leela Character Comedy Visual Gag Cubert: This is a delivery company, not a delivery room.
Cubert Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Bender: Hey, wait a second. How did you deliver a million papers in one hour?
Bender Setup/Punchline Misdirection Amy: Don't you sweet-talk me... you wrinkly old tube sock.
Amy Character Comedy Observational Amy: Now, you should be happy that they became successes... instead of following in your food stamps.
Amy Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cubert: We couldn't handle them. We dumped the extras in a crater on the moon.
Cubert Character Comedy Absurdist Hermes · Professor Farnsworth: You ruined us with sleazy business practices... and a complete disregard for human decency. - Of course we're proud of you.
Professor Farnsworth: Good thing I had this net installed for catching giraffes.
Cubert · Professor Farnsworth: Can I use the gun, Dad? - What kind of father would I be if I said no?
Dwight: Run away! That bully, Brett Blob, lives there. He's ugly, mean, stupid, stink mucus!
Dwight Character Comedy Escalation Professor Farnsworth: Oh, heavens, no! We apologize with nice, cheap words.
Brett Blob: I thought I heard the doorbell. But I see it was the 'dork bell.'
Mr. Blob: You shove your apology into the bottom of your one-way digestive system.
Mr. Blob: Tell you what. I'll accept their apology when they kiss my ass! Which I don't have.
Mr. Blob Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Cubert: You are the bravest dads in the entire trauma center.
Cubert Observational Irony/Sarcasm Professor Farnsworth: If I could feel anything right now, it would be pride. - I was wrong! I can still feel pain!
Mr. Blob: They're bringing in computers to improve productivity... and, well, that's no excuse for how I acted.
Bender: Hey, chumps. I heard you were on the ass end of an ass-kicking.
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Professor Farnsworth: Man or blob, it's what's inside that counts.