The Hot Tub

How much did you lose by? I don't even know. It was like from now to now. Now to now. Now, now, now.

If I had a pimple, I would have won.

Thirty hours later, lost in the fjord... a welcoming smile. Thank God she spotted the epaulets on my Norwegian ice-fishing vest.

This catalogue is all about how to score in a foreign country.

I always look annoyed. When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.

Think about it.

Yeah, you do. He looks busy. He looks very busy.

Yeah, he's Trinidadian and Tobagan.

You'd think you'd have six alarm clocks... paying off little kids to come banging on your door.

What responsibility? I don't have any responsibility. / Well, you gotta wake him up. / He'll get up.

And the guy just took off. / Don't say anything. / Who am I gonna tell? / I know, it's just something you have to say.

My money's on the snooze. I bet he hit the snooze for an extra five, and it never came back on.

Alarm clocks? No, I never use them. Don't trust them. / What do you do? / I have a mental alarm.

It's based on your body clock. Your body has an internal mechanism. It knows what time it is.

It's got these high-volume accusage jets... oscillating and pulsating, soothing your every aching muscle.

Isn't that the same temperature of the coffee that scalded you? / I think it's a little cooler than that.

He doesn't have any running water? / I don't ask those kind of questions anymore.

Sorry about the Olympics. / Me too.

Catalogue-writer's block? / Yeah, that's funny.

Why separate knob! Why separate knob!

Flight to Cleveland? / It works. / Elaine. / It works.

Singing duo, Captain and....? / Tennille!

There are some reps in from the Houston Astros... and I want you to show them a good time.

Jean-Paul, how was your soak? A good soak? / Oh, man, very good soak. The soak of the year.

I set this thing for 20 seconds. This was for two minutes, see? / Don't say anything.

I'm not taking a soak... in that human bacteria frappe you got going there.

It's like Sweden, man.

Till this bastard over here says; 'Let's call the sons of bitches, go visit them in New York.'

We said, 'That son of a bitch doesn't know what he's got in store for him.'

Well, maybe not as much as this bastard. / I can hold my own.

I'm saying, get the hell out of there!

They sit in a room with a big clock all night long... just waiting to make that call.

That's how they talk. You know, everyone's a bastard or a son of a bitch.

Boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit.

I fell asleep in the hot tub, and the heat pump broke. Water went down to 58 degrees.

Your core temperature? / Here, feel my hand. Yeah, feel. / This son of a bitch is ice cold.

Thirty thousand feet above your head, you bastard.

You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston. Not as long as you bastards are running things.

George! Get ahold of yourself.

Oh, look at that cute little bastard. You are mommy's little bastard, aren't you?

Oh, come on, you son of a bitch, I'm just trying to be friendly.

Sixteen thousand BTU's.

Every wake-up call I make is important. You're no more important than any of our guests.

I think I offended the wake-up guy. / What if he doesn't call out of spite?

Hey, believe me, if I had been with you there in Barcelona... you'd be polishing that medal right now.

I'm exhausted. I've been on this street 1000 times. It's never looked so strange. The faces, so cold.

In the distance, a child is crying. Fatherless. A bastard child, perhaps.

Thank God I took off my heels and put on my... Himalayan walking shoes!

Jean-Paul, the electricity went out! Wake up, wake up, we've gotta go! It's 8:47! / 8:47?

Idiot, I trusted you!

Well, I guess I hit the snooze.

We all get a little cuckoo. I used to be like you. Berating personnel, calling managers on the field during a game.

I've got two words to say to you, George. Hot tub.

You got it in, but it slips out. Put it in again, it slips out again.

You know, we used to talk. I don't think he liked me very much.