The Soup Nazi

Yes, I'm a very lazy eater. That's why I like soup. First of all, it looks half-digested when they put it down in front of you. So you feel like half the work is done already.

I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with an IV line of soup... that you could just jam right into your arm, you know? Campbell's tomato intravenous. Mainline gumbo.

How's yours, Grandpa? Oh, chunky style.

You called me 'Schmoopie.' You're Schmoopie. - You're Schmoopie. - You're Schmoopie.

You can't eat this soup standing up. Your knees buckle.

He's secretly referred to as the 'Soup Nazi.'

It's French, armoire. Armoire.

But you got a nice face. Two even.

Too late. I think he picked up the scent.

I didn't get any bread. - Just forget it. Let it go.

Bread, $2.00 extra. Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread. - You want bread? - Yes, please. Three dollars! - What? - No soup for you!

Can't you just make an exception? Please? I've got a nice face.

I gave you a taste. What do you want? - Why can't we share? - I told you not to say anything. You can't go in there, flout the rules, and then think I'm gonna share.

This is what comes from living under a Nazi regime.

Hi, Schmoopie. - Hi, Schmoopie. - No, you're Schmoopie. - You're Schmoopie.

Boy, he's a weird guy, isn't he?

Ahoy, there.

Well, a hot bowl of mulagatani would hit the spot. - Mulagatani? - Yeah, it's an Indian soup. Simmered to perfection by one of the great soup artisans in the modern era.

He's not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. You know, most geniuses are.

Let me ask you something. Is it just me, or do you find it unbearable to be around Jerry and that girl? - Oh, I know. It's awful.

I had to listen to a discussion on which one is actually called Schmoopie.

You're pushing your luck, little man.

What is that there? Is that lima bean? - Yes. - Never been a big fan.

Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent of a Woman.

You know something? No soup for you! - What? - Come back, one year! Next!

Look, you wanna get hurt? I don't think you wanna get hurt. If you wanna get hurt, I can hurt you. Now, just back off.

Street toughs took my armoire? Yeah, it was very frightening. My life was in danger. You should've seen the way they talked to me.

What is this? You're kissing in my line? Nobody kisses in my line.

You just cost yourself a soup. - How dare you? Come on, Jerry, we're leaving. - Jerry?

So essentially, you chose soup over a woman? It was a bisque.

So did these thieves want any money? - No. - They just wanted the armoire? - Yeah, they were quite taken with it.

I don't think George has ever thought he's better than anybody.

All right, I am happy. And I'll tell you why. The two of you were making me and every one of your friends sick. Right, Elaine?

With all that kissing and the 'Schmoopie, Schmoopie, Schmoopie.' Out in public like that. It's disgusting.

You reneged. - All I did was shake your hand.

You are the only one who understands me. - You suffer for your soup. - Yes, that is right. You demand perfection from yourself, from your soup.

Gazpacho, por favor. - 'Por favor'? - Oh, I'm part Spanish. Adios, muchacho. You heard him. Get out.

I can be a little sweetie-tweetie-wheetie-wheetie.

You want a little tuna fishy? - Yeah, a little tuna fishy. Fishy.

The Soap Nazi gave it to you? Why? Well, I told him the whole story, and he just let me have it.

Because you love your little Kiki, don't you?

You? If I knew it was for you, I never would have given it to him! I would have taken a hatchet and smashed it to pieces.

I said, are you talking to me? Well, maybe he was talking to me. Was you talking to him? Because you was obviously talking to one of us. So what is it? Who? Who was you talking to?

'Five cups chopped porcini mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, three pounds celery.' That is my recipe for wild mushroom.

You're through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!

Now that his recipes are out he's not gonna make any more soup! He's moving out of the country! Moving to Argentina! No more soup, Jerry. No more for any of us!