Jim The Psychic

In my country, they wear nothing. [...] No skates. [...] No ice. Gravel.

No skates. / What do they do, slide around the ice? / No ice. Gravel.

You call my-my stupid stuff is stupid stuff? Yeah. I think is not. I think your stupid stuff is stupid stuff, and you calling my stuff is not stupid stuff.

Because you cannot knock me out. Because, if you do, nobody is going to like you, because I am weak and defenseless and-and cute.

See? I am winning this argument.

Latka draws a low card and loses the bet to stay quiet, then immediately starts celebrating how great it will be not to hear from Tony

Hey, Jim, how you doing? Uh, I-I'll get back to you on that, Bobby.

I didn't tell you guys about it before because I didn't want you to think I was offbeat or something.

You'll drink a glass of water very quickly. Somebody is going to mistake you for a girl. You'll do the cancan in a green shirt, wearing a catcher's mask. And then comes the crazy part.

The worst part is that between now and the end, you're going to be at Mario's, and a beautiful, sexy blonde is going to fall into your arms. You'll be dating each other right up to the end.

After you, my lady.

To you, he gave smarts. Banta's got muscle. Nardo's got knobs.

God gave me the power to spot what everybody else has got.

When you first look at Ignatowski, you figure this guy must have caught God on a bad day.

Louie gives Alex a blessing by making random gestures and mumbling

Yeah, well, so far, the only sexy blonde in here is me.

Latka repeatedly tries to communicate while under his vow of silence, getting increasingly frustrated

I saved up enough money after quitting drugs. [...] Jim, that's a dollar, 35. I quit drugs for a dollar, 35?

Maybe this guy can see into the future. He definitely can't see anything in the present.

I'm terribly sorry. That's okay, we were expecting you.

Testing. Abby-dabby, icky-bicky, abby-dabby, icky-bicky.

How is your career coming along? Well fine, as a matter of fact... Sorry to hear that, Bobby.

Sunshine Cab. He just walked out the door. Can I take a message?

You got a 104 degree temperature and projectile vomiting? He's had worse dates.

Hello? No, this is not Mary. Do I sound like a Mary? You have the wrong number. [...] Mary?

It's happening!

If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die as I lived. Dancing the cancan in a green shirt and a catcher's mask.

Ignatowski's a boob.

Now you did it! I almost apologized!

Reiger, did you see it? It was hideous!

Louie, it was a little girl selling sugar cookies. My favorite.

Oh my God, a ghost. [...] A talking ghost. [...] A reasonable ghost. [...] A working ghost. [...] A courteous ghost!

A reasonable ghost. / A working ghost. / A courteous ghost!