Larry goes on vacation, but the problems follow him as Hank alienates a series of co-hosts as he anxiously awaits the opening night of Hank's Lookaround Restaurant.
WAR
80.9
Wins Above Replacement
“The Grand Opening” ranks #10 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 91.0 — Elite. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 2.2 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.3 on impact, with Hank landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Hank: Hank: 'I'm gonna take a long fuckin' walk.' [Microphone thuds] [Silence]
Hank Character Comedy Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: Hank warns Seinfeld: 'You know, they put you on Thursday nights, so you've got a little heat going for you right now. Won't last forever.'
Hank Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jerry Seinfeld: I wrote this, Uh, script For your show. Would this be a bad time To give it to you?
Larry: Yeah! Yeah.
Hank: Hank, after the memory blank: '[Inhales] Guess we're not gonna have that, uh, special warm-up.'
Hank Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Burt Reynolds: Like, uh, smokey and the bandit. That was a-- That was a great idea. And, uh, cannonball run. That was a-- That was a great idea.
Hank: [Snobby voice] Ooh. Bravo.
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Hank: Now that sign Says 'applesauce.' No, no. I'm kidding. It says 'applause.'
Hank Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Martin Mull: This is really very, very Close to a thrill for me.
Martin Mull Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Martin Mull: I know how much This show means to Larry And what a stickler He is for quality. At least, to the extent That one can have any In television.
Hank: I've been burning the, Uh, bulb at both ends
Hank: That's not the question. What are you gonna Do this weekend?
Hank Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Martin Mull: Nothing really Aids digestion Quite like Centrifugal force.
Hank: You're A guest host, Guest being the, uh, Operative word here.
Martin Mull: You know what, I think This might fit Nicely up your ass.
Hank: They're reddish-brown, And they-- It completely, um-- It clashes with-- Clashes with The banquette.
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Hank: You put him in the genuine Article, and he locks
Hank: No friday night, No next night! No friday night, No next night!
Hank Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: Did I say Jerry van dyke? I mean joan van ark.
Hank: All my celebrity friends-- And they're just sitting In all these booths, And I get to say To them, 'hey. Hey! This one's on me,' To some of them.
Artie: Larry's on vacation! He's not To be disturbed.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Burt Reynolds: No, actually I don't Live in the big house. I... I live back there in The guesthouse, you see. 'Cause I can't Afford the big house Because of the--
Larry: Yeah, is it that thing You're going through? Divorce.
Burt Reynolds: What does it pay?
Hank Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Hank: 3 times, I heard.
Burt Reynolds: I've been divorced 4 times.
Hank: 4 times?
Burt Reynolds: Yeah. Who gives a shit?
Burt Reynolds: Course, If you're a smoker, You'd have to smoke And then stop And then light up Again when you came In your section.
Hank Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Burt Reynolds: Like, uh, smokey and the bandit. That was a-- That was a great idea. And, uh, cannonball run. That was a-- That was a great idea.
Hank: [Snobby voice] Ooh. Bravo.
Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Artie: It's beginning to smell Like a goddamn locker room.
Hank: Oh, boy, Another ego trip. Yeah. Give a guy A couple of car chases, And all of a sudden He thinks he's An incredible wit.
Hank: My restaurant, At this moment, Has a very specific odor That is not conducive To the art Of fine dining...
Hank: I don't think Anybody's gonna... Come to The grand opening. [Sobbing]
Hank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Hank: Even my own wife Is not coming Because there's, You know, 'Sorry, honey, there's A death in the family,'
Hank: You drink water, Arthur. You drink Through your ass!
Hank: This fucking Electrical engineer! You know! This-- This-- this guy, He-- he comes in, He fills in at The last minute, And i-- I'm supposed to-- I'm supposed to think That this guy Knows fuck-all About anything!
Hank: Oh, shit, If I had a gun! If I had a gun, Artie!
Phil: He's telling me About his troubles At the restaurant. But you're Not in there. He doesn't know that.
Hank Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: well, he's been in the men's room for an hour now... vomiting and weeping.
Instead of Saying 'hank's Look-around cafe,' It says 'Look-round cafe.'
Hank Artie Cringe/Discomfort Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Hank: Ah, that's ok.
Artie: It is?
Hank: Mm-hmm.
Artie: You sure? 'Cause I could try To go out and buy an 'a.'
Hank Artie Awkward Silence Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Artie Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: And it's called, uh-- Uh...
Hank Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hank: I'm gonna take A long fuckin' walk.
Hank Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jerry Seinfeld: Hey, is this How things usually Work around here?
Larry: Yeah.
Artie Hank Visual Gag Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jerry Seinfeld: I wrote this, Uh, script For your show. Would this be a bad time To give it to you?
Larry: Yeah! Yeah.
Larry: If this fucking booth Starts to rotate, I swear to god...
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Larry: I'm gonna shove it Up Hank's ass If he ever gets here, The son of a bitch.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Jerry Seinfeld: He's just weird.
Larry: That's exactly What ours does.
Larry: Yeah. It's 9:30 a.M. We looked for you All night, Hank. No!
Hank Artie Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: Make it go back. Make it go back. Turn back the world.
Hank: Hank warns Seinfeld: 'You know, they put you on Thursday nights, so you've got a little heat going for you right now. Won't last forever.'
Hank Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Hank: Hank's warm-up: announces he's going to talk about his restaurant, then appears to forget the name of the restaurant mid-speech — whispers frantically
Hank Cringe/Discomfort Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: Hank, after the memory blank: '[Inhales] Guess we're not gonna have that, uh, special warm-up.'
Hank Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Hank: Hank: 'I'm gonna take a long fuckin' walk.' [Microphone thuds] [Silence]
Hank Character Comedy Awkward Silence ★ Rewatch Callback Jerry Seinfeld · Larry: Jerry Seinfeld and Larry watch Hank walk off: 'Is this how things usually work around here?' Larry: 'Yeah.'
Larry · Writer: A writer tries to hand Larry a script he wrote for the show — 'Would this be a bad time to give it to you?' — Larry: 'Yeah.' — 'Oh. OK.' — [leaves]
Larry · Artie: Larry and Artie at the grand opening: Artie threatens to shove the ice sculpture of the Queen Mary 'up Hank's ass if he ever gets here'
Larry Artie Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Larry: Larry: 'I just can't believe I took the time out of my vacation to come here, and the man isn't even here.'
Larry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Larry · Artie: Larry complains he 'can't believe I took time out of my vacation to come here, and the man isn't even here' — while Artie says 'I'm already seasick' from the rotating floor
Larry Artie Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Larry: 'If this fucking booth starts to rotate, I swear to god...' — trail off
Larry Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Callback Larry · Jerry Seinfeld: Larry and Artie discover Hank was found asleep on an empty stage by 'the weird intern' — Seinfeld: 'We got one of those.' Larry: 'What's yours do?' Seinfeld: 'He's just weird. That's exactly what ours does.'
Jerry Seinfeld: Seinfeld hands off passed-out Hank to Larry and Artie: 'I'll send you a bill for the drool.'
Artie · Hank: Artie tells the groggy Hank: 'It's 9:30 A.M. We looked for you all night, Hank.' — Hank's response: 'No!'
Artie Hank Setup/Punchline Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: Hank: 'Make it go back. Make it go back. Turn back the world.'
Hank Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Larry: Larry's closing complaint: 'Hey, you know, I was up all night. I'm supposed to be on vacation. My wife wants to go to Vegas...'
Larry Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
