Larry Loses Interest

Larry Sanders:It sounds like Most of those Become sidekicks, Announcers, That kind of thing. They're almost Intelligent enough.

Larry Sanders:Joel, are you an ape Or a monkey?

That's the clip We'll use.

The koala bear Peeing on Larry Is much funnier.

Artie:Classic, my ass! People are tired Of seeing hosts Being pissed on. Joe franklin did that 30 years ago.

And what They want to see Is Larry Sanders getting Hit in the nuts by a monkey.

Larry Sanders:Good thinking, Larry. I agree. We'll use The monkey as a bumper And the koala bear For the clip package.

Artie:Well, let's get rid Of the fucking blue curtain. Jazz things up a little. Let's get a red curtain, Maybe with a stripe.

Larry Sanders:How could I forget, Joan? That was my last Intimate relationship.

Joan Embrey:She doesn't do this At home. She only does it With you.

Larry Sanders:Ever since I started working On this movie, I'm telling you, I feel like I've been wasting My life doing that show.

Beverly:He's not in yet. I know he's not in yet. Hank wants to know Where Larry is. He's not in yet. Is he sick? I don't know. Where's Larry? He's not in yet.

Artie:I suppose she prefers The cinema and the ballet.

Artie:I'm afraid our boy Is getting pussy-whipped.

Hank:Artie, ix-nay On the ussy-whipped-pay.

Artie:Quite right, Hank. Inexcusable.

Artie:Forgive me, ladies.

Artie:If he's not At his house, Try yoko's place.

Larry Sanders:I'm fluish.

Hank:I don't think those were His real fingers.

Hank:People probably Won't remember Who Oprah winfrey is. Michael jackson Is timeless, you know?

Hank:Like those moments During the commercial When he asks if anything's Hanging from his nose?

Hank:Remember, you can't spell Smart ass without a-s-s.

Hank:The cone of silence Is coming down.

Phil:Who isn't?

Hank:You're going to see A re-energized Hank Kingsley-- On, with a capital 'o' And a capital 'n.'

Suzanne Somers:It's really hard.

Larry:Pardon me?

Suzanne Somers:Yeah, It is hard.

Larry:Yeah, very.

Suzanne Somers:It's hard. It really works.

Larry:Boy, it is hard.

Larry:Oh, That lucky thing.

Larry:Her boobs were falling Out of her blouse. And all I did was Make lewd innuendoes About having sex With her. I'm very, very proud.

Artie:Leno couldn't flirt. It would Make people sick. Yech.

Hank:Recently I was dating a solid gold dancer, and she was... everything to me.

Larry:I didn't know solid gold was still on.

Hank:It isn't. She was a solid gold dancer in 1979. I'm sorry. It was '80.

Larry:I didn't know solid gold Was still on.

Hank:It isn't. She was A solid gold dancer in 1979.

Larry:I'm sorry.

Hank:It was '80.

Larry:Well, still The peak years.

Larry:You trying to tell me You're pregnant, Hank?

Hank:Sometimes, When kenny g is on, I get a little sleepy.

Larry:Was that a curtsy? Did you just curtsy?

Larry:Thumbs, Hank.

Larry:There's no reason For arthur to hate me.

Francine:He doesn't hate you.

Larry:Oh, good.

Francine:I just typed 'He doesn't hate you.' Yes, he does.

Francine:Sweat becomes you.

Larry:Surround sound will bring this to life.

Francine:I like it rough.

Larry:Well, nevertheless. Surround sound will Bring this to life.

Francine:There's oxygen In the kitchen.

Larry:I like the sound Of the banging And then the bell. Or do you prefer The bell and then The banging?

He's typing? What does that mean?

He'll be doing His own stuff, And we're not gonna Get anything on.

Artie:We'll be right in. Hank, would you do me A favor and say... [Whispering]

Hank:I am very concerned About Larry's lack Of interest in the show.

Artie:Not now, Hank.

Artie:Excuse Hank. Hank sometimes Forgets his boundaries.

He's tired of getting hit In the nuts by monkeys.

Artie:That monkey gave A lot of people pleasure With that Inappropriate act.

Artie:Movies, is it? Oh, movies.

Larry:You guys hitting on My ex-wife?

Executives:How do you feel About... Harrison ford As lyle?

Larry:Well... I think, you know, I'm really lyle. Or gerard depardieu.

He went insane. He was killed in a gun battle With the police.

Larry:That's a little heavy For me.

No, no. Actually, It's funny.

Executive:You wouldn't be Playing Hank.

Larry:she's a female, all right.

Artie:Don't take this show For granted. You insult me And everyone Who works here.

Artie:Go ahead And see how you like Spending 14-hour days In a trailer Playing gin rummy With your hairdresser.

Larry:You and Hank Eating pie.

Artie:Hear that live audience Laugh? You won't get that Making movies.

Audience member:I was just wondering-- You being so funny, How come you don't do movies?

Artie:Hear that live audience laugh? You won't get that making movies.

Larry Sanders:I just want to say we have very little time left. Thanks for sticking with us for six years. And folks, we love you. Good night. Let's hope it's another six.

Larry Sanders · Audience Member:I rarely talk to the audience after a show, but this was special. You're special, that you come here. Any questions? Yes, sir. / I was just wondering — you being so funny, how come you don't do movies?