Larry's chances with Mimi Rogers drop dramatically when a woman from Montana turns up with the claim that she's carrying Larry's baby.
WAR
42.8
Wins Above Replacement
“You're Having My Baby” ranks #29 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.5 — Elite. The episode packs 47 scored jokes at 2.1 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Lloyd: She says, 'one large birthmark with 2 smaller ones above it at the base of the penis forming a mickey mouse head.'
Larry: That is not my penis.
Mary Beth: This is not my cousin. I'm Mary Beth nagler from montana. I'm having Larry's baby.
Artie: There's nothing wrong with a handjob, Larry. In my day, I've had plenty of 'em in far worse places than a parking lot. I remember one time I was visiting St. Patrick's cathedral. It was a Thursday.
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive Larry: why don't I, uh... just come by, and we'll sit in the car, you know, and, uh... talk.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: There's nothing wrong with a handjob, Larry. In my day, I've had plenty of 'em in far worse places than a parking lot. I remember one time I was visiting St. Patrick's cathedral. It was a Thursday. There weren't many people in the pews in the back.
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive All Jokes — 47 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Larry: That's shelley long.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Observational ★ Rewatch Writer: You know, I am prepared to publicly allege that Larry fondles my buttocks whenever I go in to pitch jokes.
Writer Observational Meta/Self-Referential Other Writer: Million, million and 5, depending upon if you can prove your buttocks is a source of income.
First Writer: Not since college.
Paula: No. Baywatch was renewed.
Paula Deadpan/Understatement Observational Larry: Well, thanks for lying through your teeth. I appreciate it.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Larry: His name guy?
Artie: No. He's just a guy.
Larry: I did not sleep with that woman from montana. No? No.
Artie: Just checking.
Hank: Hey, I get some on a nightly basis. I'm still excited about mimi rogers.
Hank Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Larry: Oh, that would explain the lobster.
Hank: How's that?
Larry: Maine. Lobster.
Hank: I got it. You're working on a bit. I'll play along. Maine lobsters...
Larry: Well, that usually happens on Tuesday mornings, doesn't it? That's why it threw you.
Larry Setup/Punchline Observational Hank: I once had a woman, and, uh... do we have time for this? I don't think we need to get into the details of this. She followed me across 7 states.
Hank: Her name was Cindy halloran. Cindy halloran from pensacola, thank you very much.
Hank Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Hank: People are going to think I called her Cindy fuckpot or something. From the philadelphia fuckpots.
Hank Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Hank: OK, I happened to say the word cum. So what? In front of Jessica tandy. Oh, that crybaby. She's heard all this shit before.
Larry: No, well, you don't become nude. He didn't take his clothes off. You become nude. I've heard that about you. No, I don't become... no. What you're thinking is that I'm very becoming nude.
Larry: Would you like a piece of gum?
Mimi: Oh, just half.
Larry: Do you wanna go out sometime?
Mimi: You don't waste any time.
Larry: Well, they're only on for 3½ minutes, so I thought I'd get right to it.
Hank: Boy, do I have a big surprise for you, Mr. Larry Sanders.
Hank Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort Mary Beth: This is not my cousin. I'm Mary Beth nagler from montana. I'm having Larry's baby.
Larry Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Hank: Young lady, am I to understand you are blackmailing Mr. Sanders?
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Artie: Move another inch toward Larry, and I'll take you down hard.
Artie Escalation Character Comedy Larry: Wonderful, Hank. Are you insane?
Hank: Yes, I think I'm insane.
Larry Hank Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Artie: Is she the only one, or did you run across some muslim extremist who'd like to meet Larry?
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive Hank: Otherwise, you end up with, what we call in our business a crap column.
Hank Observational Character Comedy Hank: I was, uh, personally abused as a child. No, not sexually. Physically. I was beaten, and I was kicked. You know, that sort of thing. Well, who do you think did it? The other kids, that's who.
Hank Misdirection Character Comedy Larry: What, you can't get pregnant from saying hello unless you say it to warren beatty.
Larry Observational Setup/Punchline Artie: Me and Tom snyder... shoving match right there in the thrifty parking lot. You're right. You're right, that didn't happen. Roseanne didn't marry her assistant, either. She gets to make up this stuff. Why the hell can't I?
Artie Absurdist Character Comedy Hank: I'm on the one-phay.
Hank Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Hank: Red wine gives me hives.
Hank Character Comedy Absurdist Hank: I got a special thing for, uh, asian ladies.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Hank: I got a special thing for, uh, asian ladies.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Larry: Normally, you can only see to whitney houston's house, but it must be very clear tonight.
Larry Observational Character Comedy Larry: If that's Kevin costner, make sure that we pretend we were just looking at the moon, OK?
Larry Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mary Beth: I loved you in star wars.
Mimi: Oh. I think you're confusing me with Carrie Fisher.
Larry: So did I, by the way.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort Lloyd: She says, 'one large birthmark with 2 smaller ones above it at the base of the penis forming a mickey mouse head.'
Larry: That is not my penis.
Artie: Jesus, Larry, she knows all about little mickey.
Artie Callback Character Comedy Callback Larry: No, she was one of the top people in the space program. Yeah, she was a waitress, Artie.
Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Larry: She gave me a handjob in the parking lot at Denny's.
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Artie: There's nothing wrong with a handjob, Larry. In my day, I've had plenty of 'em in far worse places than a parking lot. I remember one time I was visiting St. Patrick's cathedral. It was a Thursday. There weren't many people in the pews in the back.
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive Artie: There's nothing wrong with a handjob, Larry. In my day, I've had plenty of 'em in far worse places than a parking lot. I remember one time I was visiting St. Patrick's cathedral. It was a Thursday.
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive I know the television industry has more than its share of pathetic types, but Kingsley has taken the prize.
Larry: I didn't say anything about Denny's. I think you did.
Lloyd: No, I didn't, did I?
Artie: Yeah, yeah. I heard Denny's.
Cindy Halloran: Hank, Cindy halloran from pensacola. I heard you mention me on the show.
Cindy Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: Call security. Call security now.
Hank Reaction Beat Character Comedy Larry: why don't I, uh... just come by, and we'll sit in the car, you know, and, uh... talk.
Larry Callback Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
