Larry hits it off with guest Sharon Stone, but finds he can't cope with her greater celebrity status.
WAR
46.4
Wins Above Replacement
“The Mr. Sharon Stone Show” ranks #23 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 80.0 — Elite. The episode packs 51 scored jokes at 1.9 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Larry Sanders landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Sharon Stone: Are you actually telling me You couldn't get an erection Until you turned Your own goddamn show on?
Sharon: Sharon really Likes Larry, But she feels She needs to be involved With somebody outside Of show business. Somebody who can Nurture her.
Diane Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Heat always passes From a hotter body To a cooler body And never The other way around.
Artie Misdirection Absurdist ★ Rewatch Beverly: Larry, do you know I had this same Exact conversation With both your ex-wives?
Beverly Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: If you're in A show business relationship, And the woman's More famous than you are, She's the one with the dick.
Artie Callback Observational ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 51 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Assistant: Good morning, Sir lawrence.
Larry Sanders: Morning.
Assistant: Bran with raisins, sire.
Larry Sanders: Just a little dinner With the president Of the united states.
Hank Kingsley: Ooh! That's both Hoity and toity.
Larry Sanders: Just, uh, tell her I'm in big bear for the next couple Weeks, ok?
Beverly: Larry, if I use That big bear excuse, She's going to know that You're blowing her off.
Larry Sanders: I'm not blowing anyone. Not till next week at The big network meeting. Yeah, when i'll be Blowing everyone.
Larry Sanders: Oh, Beverly, we're Just boys talk. What the fuck?
Beverly: The grand high-exalted Pussy master here might.
Beverly Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Beverly: Guess whose not getting Any pussy at home.
Beverly Character Comedy Observational Beverly: How would you like it If I talked about pussy, huh? Pussy, pussy, I'm gonna Go get me some pussy. How would you like that?
Beverly Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Hank Kingsley: Well, when you say it that way, It takes the shine off it.
Beverly: Get some of that Drive-through pussy.
Beverly Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Larry Sanders: I wonder if She looks this sexy In real life, 'Cause I know I don't.
Larry Sanders: Oh, that is not the case. I often come down To say hello to the guests Just as a common courtesy, You know?
Phil: You know, If you're going To try something new, You should tell people. You scared the shit Out of me.
Phil Reaction Beat Observational Larry Sanders: We were like locusts. We'd get together Every 7 years and destroy everything For miles And then Split apart again.
Sharon Stone: Larry, You read the article In people magazine, didn't you?
Larry Sanders: What article?
Hank Kingsley: Just know that Things in this life Happen for a reason. Remember that When we fire you.
Sharon Stone: vous etes très gentil.
Larry Sanders: You know, If you married Oliver stone, You'd be sharon stone. Sharon stone.
Larry Sanders: I'd love to talk To that guy, 'cause I think my mother Had something To do with the kennedy Assassination.
Larry Sanders: the courtship blank eddie's father. I was up half the night. "Of." The word was "of." Oh, was it "of"? Damn it. I put "and."
Larry Sanders: Excuse me. You just made Me think of something. Uh, Beverly? Would you do me A favor and see If we've heard from The cadillac dealership yet?
Beverly: There's an emergency. Uh, something fell On bobby on the stage.
Larry Sanders: Oh, my god.
Beverly: The emergency. I have to go.
Hank Kingsley: Hey, Larry, I heard "cadillac," But there was A bottleneck in The kitchenette.
Hank Kingsley: So, um, what did, uh, What did she eat?
Artie: Heat always passes From a hotter body To a cooler body And never The other way around.
Artie Misdirection Absurdist ★ Rewatch Norman: There are some kids In my neighborhood. Who gives a shit?
Norman Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Norman: You have kids? There are some kids In my neighborhood. Who gives a shit?
Artie: No, she's More famous than you.
Larry Sanders: What?
Artie: She's more famous Than you are.
Larry Sanders: She's what?
Artie: More famous.
Artie: If you're in A show business relationship, And the woman's More famous than you are, She's the one with the dick.
Artie Observational Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Larry Sanders: I can show you a list Of women this long That aren't famous That I haven't been able To get it up with.
Hank Kingsley: I know that never In this lifetime Will I enjoy The act of lovemaking With someone Of sharon stone's caliber. I know this, And I accept this. I'm so fat.
Hank Kingsley: Some of god's bounty That he has obviously Seen fit to bestow on you.
Larry Sanders: You sound like you're Quoting scripture now.
Hank Kingsley: Some of god's bounty That he has obviously Seen fit to bestow on you.
Larry Sanders: You sound like you're Quoting scripture now.
Did you hear? Larry is banging Sharon stone.
Hank Kingsley: You shut the fuck up.
Audience member: how's sharon?!
Larry Sanders: The next time you bring Your father to the show, You tell him to keep His mouth shut, all right?
Sharon Stone: I don't think His depilatory problems Are my concern.
Larry Sanders: ♪ Many a tear has to fall ♪ ♪ But it's all ♪
Larry Sanders: I was on The wrestling team In high school, And I can break Any of your holds.
Sharon Stone: Yeah, well I know. I've seen your movies.
Larry Sanders: You're at table 1? Mm-hmm. 1 what? Table 1. Who are you Sitting with?
Sharon Stone: Bill and hillary.
Larry Sanders: Oh, them.
Larry Sanders: Table 1? [Sighs]
Sharon Stone: Are you actually telling me You couldn't get an erection Until you turned Your own goddamn show on?
Artie: If you're in A show business relationship, And the woman's More famous than you are, She's the one with the dick.
Artie Callback Observational ★ Rewatch Callback Larry Sanders: I can show you a list Of women this long That aren't famous That I haven't been able To get it up with. That came out wrong.
Larry Sanders: See, canyon ranch Is the female Equivalent To big bear. She's blowing Me off.
Beverly: Larry, do you know I had this same Exact conversation With both your ex-wives?
Beverly Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Sharon: Sharon really Likes Larry, But she feels She needs to be involved With somebody outside Of show business. Somebody who can Nurture her.
Diane Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: Boy, does he Crave attention.
Beverly: Yeah.
Artie: He's taking it Badly, though.
Hank Kingsley: I vote for a nurse. They can get You drugs, And those girls Really know How to swing.
Larry Sanders: She's not more famous Than I am, is she?
Artie: No!
Julianne Phillips: Table 2.
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