Larry's staff prepares for the end by secretly looking for new jobs.
WAR
24.4
Wins Above Replacement
“As My Career Lay Dying” ranks #81 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 69.5 — Mixed. The episode packs 42 scored jokes at 1.7 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.2 on impact, with Hank Kingsley landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Artie: You put your tongue in her mouth.
Brian: I lost my balance. I was falling over, and I stuck my tongue out to break my fall.
Larry Sanders: By things... by things, he means crying, by the way.
Artie: Just like when you hit on Michael landon's wife. He was dead. That woman was sitting shivah.
Hank Kingsley: I thought when Larry announced his retirement from the show, I would wake up, because I have that nightmare almost every night.
Larry Sanders: I'm this close to hitting you.
All Jokes — 42 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Hank Kingsley: Banana liqueur. I needed a drink a couple of hours ago. This was the only thing I could find.
Hank Kingsley: My breath smells like a monkey's asshole.
Hank Kingsley: There's a fire extinguisher there. It has a simple elegance, and yet it has strength.
Hank Kingsley: I thought when Larry announced his retirement from the show, I would wake up, because I have that nightmare almost every night.
Jim Gray: I think the ratings were even higher for the super bowl than they were for the 3rd rock episode. A very special 3rd rock.
Right in between Richard Simmons and jenny mccarthy.
Bob Costas: Everyone knows you're the reason we lost football.
Artie: If you want to sit there and stare like a moron and breathe though your mouth, you can go sit in jenny jones' audience.
Artie Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Artie: You better climb back on board and towel off, because we're gonna finish the show in a blaze of glory.
Artie Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: Just like when you hit on Michael landon's wife. He was dead. That woman was sitting shivah.
Artie: You put your tongue in her mouth.
Brian: I lost my balance. I was falling over, and I stuck my tongue out to break my fall.
Artie: Pure comedy Gold. Melt it, mint it, and ship it to fort knox.
Artie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Artie: Pussy-whipped. Flying right back to St. Louis.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Fred de Cordova: Very talented... basketball player.
Larry Sanders: Your boyfriend was over? Ignoring that.
Hank Kingsley: I saw my face reflected in the, uh, in the cooktop, and I said... 'lemons.'
Hank: lemons. When life gives you lemons, you make things with lemons.
Hank Character Comedy Absurdist Hank Kingsley: Little... little playlets, really.
Hank Kingsley: She stepped on every one of my fucking lines.
Larry Sanders: Oh, I know. I saw that production. And you said you enjoyed it, right?
Hank Kingsley: Yeah.
Larry Sanders: That's what I said.
Hank Kingsley: Move along, chinaman.
Larry Sanders: I hate to be the one to rain on your parade, but doing a play with Ruth buzzi and saying, 'move along, chinaman,' do not an acting career make.
Larry Sanders: Well, there's no shame in doing porno.
Hank Kingsley: Hey, now. We barely know each other.
He cannot act.
I know.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
Hank Kingsley: I think they're gonna want to hear the 'hey, now' when they see me.
Hank: And now I have to sit next to that... that... that... that woman.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Hank Kingsley: Jesus, Sidney, will you please get up, and will you help me here?
Hank Kingsley: So... what, did you hire a black man?
Hank Kingsley: Well, you said you went a different way. I mean, how many different ways are there?
Larry Sanders: By things... by things, he means crying, by the way.
Larry: for those of you who are watching tonight, the unemployment line starts right to the right of pat.
Larry Setup/Punchline Meta/Self-Referential Larry Sanders: For those of you who are watching tonight, the unemployment line starts right to the right of pat.
Pat Sajak: the state of liberty. Uh, Hank? Merv? Pat. And, Hank, it's 'statue.' Statue of liberty.
Jeff: What? Jeff. My name's Jeff. You called me Jim.
Hank Kingsley: I called... I'm sorry. Who's this fucking guy?
Hank Kingsley: The correct title is the new colossus, so I guess you should worry a little less about your name and a little more about these, uh... these questions.
Hank Kingsley: Well, not to worry, debbie, with a body like yours, you don't have to be smart.
Hank Kingsley: Because, in fact, her tits aren't that great. I mean, they're too big for her body.
Larry Sanders: I'm this close to hitting you.
Hank Kingsley: That's down near San diego.
No.
Missouri.
Hank Kingsley: 2 million fucking dollars?
Larry: What about, uh, big Jew jamboree?
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