Bart and Milhouse are banned from The Android Dungeon after stopping Comic Book Guy from buying a box of priceless Star Wars memorabilia for $5, but are hired as his replacements when Comic Book Guy has a heart attack and is advised to leave his job in order to make friends.
WAR
67
Wins Above Replacement
“Worst Episode Ever” ranks #43 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 85.9 — Elite. The episode packs 59 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Comic Book Guy landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Doctor · Comic Book Guy: Young man, you've had what we call a 'cardiac episode.' Worst episode ever.
Ned Flanders · Lisa: Well, in that case, my neighbor Homer released a radioactive ape in my house. It's taken over the whole top floor. It wasn't Dad's fault. The ape tricked him.
Narrator · Crowd: Springfield will be bombed at will by all friendly nations to calibrate their missiles. [All] Yea!
Comic Book Guy: Her sneer just lights up my day. And we're always finishing each other's insults.
Doctor: Oh, dear Lord! We call that profession 'the widow-maker!' Or we would if any of the proprietors were married.
All Jokes — 59 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bart · Marge: Mmm, good pancakes, Mom. Well, thank you, honey. They come in a squeeze bottle now.
Homer: [Flatulence Sound] Whoo! [Clears Throat] I better put on the silencer. [Silenced Blasts]
Homer Physical/Slapstick Absurdist Marge · Homer: How long has this baking soda been in here? I don't know. It came with the house.
Homer: The absorbed odors of a million meals. Oh, so many flavors! All those tasty memories flooding back.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Bart: Uh-oh. Dad's having an antacid trip. And I won 50 bucks.
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Milhouse · Bart: My doctor says I'm not supposed to go on sprees. What about jags? Jags are fine. Wonderful.
Store clerk · Bart: Our wide variety of gum comes in both stick and ball. I'm not really about gum. But I like the whole chewing thing.
Milhouse: My mom doesn't believe in fabric softener. But she's not around!
Milhouse Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Comic Book Guy: It is in perma-mint condition. If you spill soda on it, the drops fly off harmlessly onto lesser comics.
Comic Book Guy: Film reel labeled 'Alternate Ending: Luke's Father is Chewbacca'
Bart · Milhouse · Woman: Don't do it, lady! That stuff's worth thousands! Yeah! He's ripping you off! Well, if this is valuable, then back to the leaky basement it goes!
Homer: Son, I know it hurts. I still remember my first lifetime banning.
Homer Callback Character Comedy Callback Gallagher · Young Homer: And you are banned for life from all of my performances and TV specials! But I can still see your movies, right? [Groans]
Homer: Hello. I'm Shaquille O'Neal.
Tom Savini: Sorry, I had a really big dinner. Whoo! Dinner! But I'm sure one more french fry wouldn't hurt.
Comic Book Guy: Oh, please. I saw Paul Lynde do that same hackneyed trick on Bewitched.
Comic Book Guy: To the gag, I will give a D-plus. As for the workmanship on the hand, it- Oh. [Groaning]
Comic Book Guy: Stop your laughing! You're all banned! Banned I tell you!
Comic Book Guy: Can't go on describing symptoms much longer. [Groans]
Comic Book Guy: Can't go on describing symptoms much longer.
Doctor · Comic Book Guy: Young man, you've had what we call a 'cardiac episode.' Worst episode ever.
Doctor: I'm just kidding. But you would be dead.
Doctor Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Doctor: Oh, dear Lord! We call that profession 'the widow-maker!' Or we would if any of the proprietors were married.
Comic Book Guy · Doctor: Well, the Super Friends. Well, you should get some friends who aren't printed on paper. What? You mean action figures?
Comic Book Guy: Two 10-year-olds running my store? I mean-Wait. What is this? Bizarro World?
Bart · Milhouse: A carton of malted milk balls, one box confectioner's sugar, a can of chocolate frosting- That's just his shopping list. No. It's his instructions.
Bart · Kid: Uh-uh. You gotta be 40 inches tall for the adult section. Please? Okay. But get on your tippie toes.
Bart: Mark down the Poochie crap. Then unstick all the Supergirls.
Bart Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Moe: Get out and take your Sacajawea dollars with ya. I'll give you till three. One- [Body Thuds]
Moe Character Comedy Escalation Moe: Hey, Homer, who's the manatee?
Moe Character Comedy Observational Comic Book Guy · Moe: Very well. I will have a shot of cranberry schnapps. [Chuckles] Uh, these, they're just painted on there.
Comic Book Guy · Barflies: Beer is the nectar of the nitwit. Hey, you knockin' beer? Nobody bad-mouths Duff! Ah, a piece a crap.
Barfly: Oh, now he's ragging on air conditioners. Hey, they keep us cool in the summer, pal.
Comic Book Guy: If I wanted to hear mindless droning, I'd befriend an air conditioner.
Comic Book Guy · Himself: Is there a word in Klingon for 'loneliness.' Ah, yes. Garl dack!
Eric Reynolds: Tough break, toots. I need a man who answers to no one. A full manager. Hotchie-machie.
Bart · Eric Reynolds: A superhero with glasses! Oh, yeah. Thick glasses. Kinda like yours.
Eric Reynolds · Bart: So how many you need- 500, 600? 600 sounds good. Aw, that's too bad. There's a price break at a thousand. Oh, man! I'll take 2,000.
Comic Book Guy · Agnes: Well, pardon me, Oldie Hawn. Why, you ill-mannered sack of crap! Oh, goody. Now I know whatever happened to Baby Jane.
Comic Book Guy: Oh, goody. Now I know whatever happened to Baby Jane.
Comic Book Guy: Biclops? Who's his girlfriend, Lois Lame?
Milhouse: How could you spend all our money on a comic book published by LensCrafters?
Milhouse: Birds won't even use them in their nests.
Bart · Milhouse: Oh, look. You're getting cranky. You haven't had your juice. Well, my straw broke off in the carton.
Milhouse · Bart: I have feelings! I'm a human boy, just like you! It's a vacuum cleaner, Milhouse. Whatever!
Bart · Milhouse: Alien Autopsy. Illegal Alien Autopsy. Godfather III: Good Version.
Comic Book Guy · Agnes: Good Lord, Mother! I can see your... figure. Oh, you see a lot more when you do my daily mole check.
Ned Flanders · Lisa: Well, in that case, my neighbor Homer released a radioactive ape in my house. It's taken over the whole top floor. It wasn't Dad's fault. The ape tricked him.
Mister Rogers: [Drunkenly] Well, what do you mean I can't take off my sweater? I'm hot!
Comic Book Guy: Her sneer just lights up my day. And we're always finishing each other's insults.
Agnes: Sunsets. Thank God there's only one of these a day. Could it be any more orange?
Agnes Character Comedy Observational Narrator · Crowd: Springfield will be bombed at will by all friendly nations to calibrate their missiles. [All] Yea!
Narrator · Cameraman: Now for total security, I will terminate the cameraman. - [Groans] Thanks a lot, Steve!
Bart: No, sir. We were just exhibiting them for profit without permission.
Bart Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Chief Wiggum · Lou: But the owner is in more hot water than- A Japanese tea bag? Why don't you lay off the Asians, Lou?
Agnes: Nobody'll buy those. Your store smells. Now kiss me, funny face.
Agnes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Lou: But we'll reduce the sentence if you put your pants on... fast!
Lou Cringe/Discomfort Visual Gag Comic Book Guy · Agnes: Will you wait for me? Are you crazy? My bones are half dust.
Homer: Look, if you want me to turn, just point. Ow! It's one way! Ow! Now what was that for? Ow! Ow! Ow!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Escalation Callback Top Episodes — The Simpsons
