Homer The Moe

Homer:Oh, that south. You never know what he'll do next.

Homer:He's like an unfunny version of me.

Homer:Probably digging for drugs.

Homer · Bart:What are you doing? / Digging. Why? / To make a hole. / A hole for what? / More digging.

Homer · Bart:So, I guess you wouldn't mind if I was to dig a hole of my own? / Go for it. Maybe I Will. / What's stopping you? Very little.

Homer · Marge:I'm having chest pains. / Where's the defibrillator? Clear! / This thing pays for itself.

Bart:My dad's always yelling that whitey's keeping him down.

Bart:If it happens, it happens.

Chinese person:Those inscrutable Americans. What are they up to now?

Barfly · Homer · Other barfly:We all know you're the great humungus! / Well, I'm just saying... / Oh, you're always 'just saying.'

Homer:Well, I just naturally assumed.

Moe:And I've read the entire sweet valley high series.

Moe:Sorry, shaggy.

Barney · Homer:And calling us 'dumbasses.' / Which we're so not.

Homer:Don't do that.

Moe · Homer:I ain't smiled for real since I nailed that rat with the ice pick. / Remember that? That was an amazing throw.

Homer · Barney:What do you call it? Human feeling. / Yeah. Maybe you should... What's the expression? / Go back there. / What's the word I'm searching for? Uh... / Yeah.

Carl:I'm an urban Lenny!

Moe:Look, I don't want to start a tinkling contest here. / Or do I?

Moe:Oh, don't look so proud. That was wind-assisted.

Homer:No, moe. You've got it all wrong. People buy beer from you.

Patron · Homer:Hey, what happened to the music? / Don't worry. You got to hit it just right, like fonzie. / Eh! / Oh! Whoa! / Hemorrhage-amundo!

Moe:None. A Cosmopolitan is made with cranberry juice.

Professor:Moe szyslak, you old glasswipe.

Bart · Homer:Yeah. I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger. First name Ollie. / Ooh! Bart! My first prank call. What do I do? / Just ask if anyone knows Ollie tabooger. / I don't get it. / Yell out, 'I'll eat a booger.' / What's the gag? / Oh, forget it!

Moe:When I first saw the movie ironweed, I thought, you know, this is for me.

Moe · Professor:Is 'crap-hole' one word? / Yes, if it's hyphenated. / Then I'll stick with crap-hole.

Moe:Do you have a cure for cancer? Because that would be great!

Moe:Hey, don't you want to take your shoes off before you go swimming? / Professor? / Oh.

Homer:You dirty teen!

Formico · Homer:I am formico, the Dean of design. / Hi, formico. / Uh-uh-uh. My name must never be spoken. / Sorry. He seems Nice.

Homer:Cecil is a girl's name.

Lenny · Moe · Homer:This place looks like it's from the not-too-distant future. / Yeah. You like it, homer? / Um... the rabbits are cute. / That one ain't moving.

Moe · Homer:It's po-mo. / Postmodern. / Yeah, all right. Weird for the sake of weird.

Moe:We don't serve duff no more. We got a Malaysian beer that's better than duff. It's made out of soy sauce.

Lenny:I'm trapped. This is creative design run amok.

Russian model · Moe:After chernobyl, my penis is falling off. / And 'penis' is Russian for...

Moe:Hey! Nobody calls moe St. cool a phony!

Moe:You'd be having a great time if you'd stayed in your dark spot.

Homer:It's not about spite. It's about petty revenge and getting back at that traitor, moe!

Homer:Father, give me legs.

Homer:Father, give me legs.

Moe · Patron:Oh, you got one of them cell phones, huh? / Yeah. No cord at all on those.

Hipster patron:Unless you're being ironic, turn that off now.

Homer:I won't drink at moe's! Because moe's a big jerk and a she-male, too!

Patron · Homer:how did you get r. E.M. To play in your garage? / I told them it was a benefit. They think they're saving the rain forest! / Suckers!

Homer:I told them it was a benefit. They think they're saving the rain forest! Suckers!

Homer:Bar? I see no bar. This is a hunting club.

Michael Stipe:That's not the r. E.M. Way.

Michael Stipe · Other REM member:That's not the r. E.M. Way. / You're right. / Let's recycle those shards and get out of here.

Lisa · Homer:It's not fair, dad. Why should an animal die just because you and moe are fighting? / It's the law. My hands are tied.

Homer:Lemons.

Lisa · Homer:Do you really think the Turkey's just gonna climb onto the plate? / I would.

Marge · Homer:Do you really think the Turkey's just gonna climb onto the plate? / I would.

Homer:Turkeys, the only animal smarter than man.

Moe · Homer · Bart:My leg! Oh, geez! / Got that cat right in the leg. / Dad, you shot moe! / Oh, no! This time I really am gonna faint!

Moe:It's like my dad always said, 'eventually everybody gets shot.'

Homer:All right, I'm sorry. But I Will not save the rain forest!

REM member · Bart:Tofu and gluten. / I'm thankful I ate before I came.