The family is on a nature walk through “Carl’s Dad Caverns,” when Homer tries to get a piece from a stalactite. This results in the family falling through the cave floor and winds up with Homer getting stuck in the ceiling of one of the lower chambers of the cave. Marge, Bart and Maggie go off to find help, while Lisa stays behind and tells her father a story to pass the time. Her story involves running from a bighorn sheep and into Mr. Burn’s mansion. The pair evades the tenacious sheep by finding refuge in the mansion’s attic, where Mr. Burns tells her the story of how he came to work at Moe’s Tavern by losing a scavenger hunt with a rich Texan. While there he learned (and tells to Lisa) the tale of the Moe’s treasure. The stories within stories culminate in the fate of the treasure being determined in the cave.
WAR
66.7
Wins Above Replacement
“The Seemingly Never Ending Story” ranks #103 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 82.9 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 6.8 on impact, with Moe landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Mr. Burns: Enter password. Damn it! I forget! Forgot password? Enter place of birth. Pangaea. Correct.
Moe: Love had handed me an awful dilemma. Should I rob this guy or rob him and kill him? I decided to do the right thing.
Moe Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns: At my age, that could kill me! How about we settle things with a scavenger hunt?
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns: Mad beast! Liberal midget!
Bart: That load of crap? No, I was just keeping her busy while Nelson stole microscopes.
Bart Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Bart: This is a scam. We're on a nature walk!
Bart Observational Character Comedy Homer: Don't worry, Bart. I brought something that'll keep you interested-- a nickel in a water bottle!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer · Bart: He'll sleep tonight. Where'd it go?! where'd it go?! It's in the cap.
Tour Guide: Local Anahoopi indians believed this stalactite was the finger of Tsisnajini, their god of pointing down.
Homer: Silly indians. Our god made their god.
Homer Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Homer: It's so impressive. I'm just gonna get a tiny chip to put on my desk at work.
Homer Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Homer: Save me, Tsisnajini!
Homer Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Homer: I'm stuck! And I have to pee. Now I'm just stuck.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Marge · Homer: We'll get that fireman who cut you out of that teacup ride. That was two firemen, a crane and snow white.
Homer: That was two firemen, a crane and snow white.
Homer Escalation Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: I hate to be alone! Except when I'm watching TV, then leave me alone. But right now, don't leave!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Lisa: Hello, Mr. Bighorn sheep! I've read about you. You're shy, and you rarely approach humans.
Lisa Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Lisa: And of course you'd never attack a fellow herbivore!
Lisa Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Mr. Burns: Mad beast! Liberal midget!
Mr. Burns: Good lord! A wooly bully!
Mr. Burns: Enter password. Damn it! I forget! Forgot password? Enter place of birth. Pangaea. Correct.
Mr. Burns: So long, sucker! I mean, don't leave an old man to die.
Mr. Burns: No, he's out getting a spray-on tan. He comes back orange and stains the furniture. The man's a walking creamsicle!
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Bart · Lisa: Wait, wait, wait, wait... Now you're telling me Burns's story? Yeah it's like the play within a play in Hamlet.
Bart Lisa Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Lisa: Let's see... it's like when you watch old home movies of you watching TV.
Lisa Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Rich Texan: Who's this dried-up ol' apricot?
Mr. Burns: I make money using my brain, not sticking a pole in the ground and praying for goo.
Rich Texan: You need to get your hands dirty, poindexter! Dip 'em in a little Texas crude!
Rich Texan: Down in Houston, we call that a fort worth shampoo!
Mr. Burns: At my age, that could kill me! How about we settle things with a scavenger hunt?
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Rich Texan · Mr. Burns: I'm gonna win me a nucular plant! Dream on, bitch.
Children: It's the boogeyman's grandfather! He's gonna drink our bones!
Children Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Moe: Hey, bar-boy, this table's wobbly. Come jam your foot under it.
Moe Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Moe: Hey, bar-boy, write a play where I meet Henry Ford and captain Kirk.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Moe · Mr. Burns: Hey, bar-boy, dance around like an idiot. Like this! I'm so stupid! I'm a little busy. Can I do it later? Sure! You're gonna be all I'm so stupid! I'm so stupid!
Mr. Burns · Lisa: Treasure?! Moe has a cappuccino machine?!
Lisa: So to contin... ...ue with the sad sto... ...Ry of Moe's treasure.
Lisa Visual Gag Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Moe: She had gossamer hair, limpid eyes and the rack of an angel.
Moe Character Comedy Escalation Moe: Me? Well... I, for a living? Well, there's, all kinds of things a fella can do, such as hemming and hawing and, but me, I'm a highly respected... therapist for alcoholics.
Moe Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Moe · Barney: Barney, how do you keep getting back in? I'm a drunk. I don't know nothing about how I do anything.
Moe Barney Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Moe: As a result of which, Krabappel was letting me do her.
Moe Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Bart · Lisa: Lab partners don't treat lab partners like this! Shut up and attract lightning.
Barney · Carl: Don't pigeonhole us. We have other vices. I dress up like a baby.
Moe: Listen, boozebags, I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up, I will out the one of you that is gay.
Moe Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Moe: And if they're interested in wife-swapping, who am I to say no? Hey, I'm just the new guy.
Moe Character Comedy Escalation Snake: I totally have a donation for them. Coins money gold!
Snake Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Snake: could you be any more pre-columbian?
Snake Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Moe: You can't donate that gold to the museum today, because, it's closed, so they can clean under the wangs on the statues.
Moe Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Moe: Love had handed me an awful dilemma. Should I rob this guy or rob him and kill him? I decided to do the right thing.
Moe Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Snake: And who would suspect me, professor Jailbird?!
Snake Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Moe: Back in a flash, my sweet little gargoyle!
Moe Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Moe: But fate likes to play a little game called up yours, Moe.
Moe Character Comedy Observational Bart: That load of crap? No, I was just keeping her busy while Nelson stole microscopes.
Bart Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Edna: sweet, misunderstood boys, who just need someone to recognize the basic goodness that's trapped inside them and is desperately trying to get out.
Edna Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Moe: I just sat there playing our song on the jukebox, one gold... coin at a time.
Moe Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Rich Texan: I'm obsessive-compulsive! One, two, three, four. No nucular plant without a photo. One, two, three, four.
Mr. Burns: Take me, a barren old thistle, and spare this sweet young flower.
Lisa: The sheep was no danger at all. I sacrificed my gorgeous body for nothing. This must be what it's like to have a baby.
Lisa Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Homer: Well, it was very moving, but the thing is, bats are chewing my legs!
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Homer: Not long ago, it was my day to take care of the baby, so I was out in the forest, hiding.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: I figured he'd never miss two or three pieces... money which we could use to pay for Bart's operation.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Bart · Homer: I need an operation? That's a story for another day.
Rich Texan: Texas left, which is your 'down.'
Fat Tony: Coolest entrance gets the gold.
Fat Tony Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Criminal · Jeremy: Is it okay that I brought my son? This is my day with him. Jeremy, there's a boy over there you can play with. Do you like XBox?
Rich Texan: Looks like we got us a mexican standoff.
Lisa · Moe: Moe, will the gold bring back Edna's love? It could. Definitely.
Fat Tony: Lady, I oughta fill you full of... gratitude!
Edna: At this point, all I want's a man with a healthy libido.
Edna Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Rich Texan: Moe can't catch a break! One, two, three, four. Can't catch a break. One, two, three, four.
Rich Texan Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Simpsons
