A documentary filmmaker who interviewed a group of Springfield schoolchildren 32 years ago has followed up at eight-year intervals to film how their lives have unfolded.
WAR
75.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Springfield Up” ranks #60 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.9 — Elite. The episode packs 68 scored jokes at 3.6 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Moe: Homer gave me a kidney. It wasn't his, I didn't need it, and it came postage due, but still, a lovely gesture.
Moe Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Burns: This is Eduardo, my pool boy. He thinks he's an angry, rich man. I am an angry, rich man. That's the pool chemicals talking.
Homer Burns Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: You can put horseradish on your dead mother for all I care.
Homer Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: Why do you sound so shocked? This is our fifth take.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Barney: - That's an ad for shoe inserts. - What the....? I've been writing creepy letters to that?
Barney Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 68 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Declan Desmond: These children ran the gamut of society: rich and poor, black and white, 'he'll grow into his looks' and 'forever hideous.'
Child: My dad was a circus freak, but my mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them.
Child Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Declan Desmond: dreams dissolve like a muffin in the rain
Declan Desmond: Will he grow up to work in a robot factory? Will she be the receptionist for a robot businessman? And will he be a crusader for robo-sexual rights? I say, 'yes,' 'no,' and 'yes.'
Lenny: My cake will be a picture of a dinosaur and all the guests will say, 'Why, Lenny, that's a fine cake!' Then, 'Yes,' I'll say.
Lenny Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Declan Desmond: I decided not to waste any more film on him after that.
Child: I wish for world peace. I wish for world war. Oh, yeah, that would be cooler.
Child Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Child Homer: I'll own a football team and a basketball team and I'll make them play baseball!
Chief Wiggum · Child: It hurts! It hurts so bad! Please, just put one in my brain! Okay. Uh, bang. Thank you.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, detention bird! Thanks for not running in the hall. Go, Wildcats.
Police Commandant: What did I tell you about pointsy-towardsies?!
Chief Wiggum · Commandant: You seem a little cranky, Commandant. A back rub'll set you right. There we go. Don't be afraid to dig in there good!
Chief Wiggum: If I was Chief, I could give you 8:30 every day.
Declan Desmond: I'm not making fun of you. I'm making fun of your pants.
Chief Wiggum: Well, they're a little, uh... They-they, uh... Oh, they're perfect.
Declan Desmond · Homer: None. You never had any. I'm not a genie. D'oh!
Declan Desmond · Homer: Don't look at me. Look at the camera. Got it. I said, look at the camera. No problem. Now you're looking at a mud puddle. That's your hand. That's the production accountant. That's your other hand. Do you even know what a camera is? Well, of cour... No.
Declan Desmond · Homer: I'm gonna put this squeaky toy on top of the camera. Squeaky! Squeaky! Squeaky, squeaky! Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky!
Homer: Manure for sale! Get your manure! Loamiest in town!
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: Um, I know Super Clean cleans, but does it scrub?
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: The album cover's gonna be a naked girl with stars for boobs.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: And I do open-casket caricatures. Did he have any hobbies? Get out of here!
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Declan Desmond: But Homer had found a peanut of hope in his Cracker Jack box of despair.
Marge · Homer: He can chug a beer and pitch woo at the same time. The light from your eyes could guide a ship at sea.
Homer: Kids? No way! You'll never see a couple of rugrats tying me down!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: You better not put this shot after the one where I said I won't have kids. That would be a devastating edit.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Declan Desmond: You're not English Breakfast, but you're not Lapsang Soochong either.
Homer: Check with me in eight years, Dr. Who. I'll be kickin' your ass with a solid gold boot!
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: Why do you sound so shocked? This is our fifth take.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Homer: That's why rich kids turn out so well.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Observational Bart · Homer: Mine has a cup holder. Bart, that's a blowhole. You're a blowhole!
Marge: Can you edit that? I don't want to say 'chest' in a movie.
Marge Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Burns · Smithers: We pay him in limes That's right, limes.
Homer: You see, Declan, I made my millions with a simple invention: the Condiment Pen!
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Homer: I got the idea from the regular pen.
Homer Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Homer: You can put horseradish on your dead mother for all I care.
Homer Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Title card: Barely Literate, smells Like Feet
Professor Frink: Ah, bullies approaching. Activate cloaking device.
Professor Frink: I've spent my whole life in the lab and never talked to a girl. That's why I built this time machine.
Professor Frink: one where I'll meet a female woman of the girl-u-lar variety
Professor Frink: That was... Hey, I'm still going, but...
Eleanor: Your Honor, I'd like to request a continuance so I can go deliver a baby. I love babies.
Eleanor: So, sometimes-- don't shoot me-- I have a glass of wine with Buster here. He's a real comfort.
Eleanor Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Marge: Aw, crap, my first kiss. You could do a lot worse, my friend
Marge Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: I got a picture of you tattooed on my chest. They had a sale on skulls.
Homer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Marge: so he has time to work on his rock music, his erotic etchings, his Play-Doh Theater...
Marge Escalation Character Comedy Marge: As shocks go, this one's a real zaparoo.
Marge Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Homer · Burns: This is Eduardo, my pool boy. He thinks he's an angry, rich man. I am an angry, rich man. That's the pool chemicals talking.
Homer Burns Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Homer: You can have the boy. Just don't beat him. You can beat him. Just don't leave marks.
Homer Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Burns: Using the suspension spring above the pendulum leader, hang the pendulum on the pendulum guide...
Burns Absurdist Cringe/Discomfort Smithers: Please get me out of here. It's 11:59:59.
Smithers: Shadow and Winston have been fighting a lot. Put Winston in the front. Winston doesn't like the front.
Declan Desmond: 'Why lie?' and 'Lies... why?'
Lenny · Declan Desmond: Did you ever try that new shampoo? Nope, never did. Want to watch me pay my cable bill? I got checks with butterflies on them. - I am interesting. - No, you're not.
Lenny · Declan Desmond: I am interesting. No, you're not.
Homer: Same job, same house, same dirty joke book.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Declan Desmond: Strong words from a dumpy man.
Marge: Wait just a cotton-swabbing minute!
Marge Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Barney: What's the matter, Declan? Did a cop give you a ticket for talking like a fruit?
Barney Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Declan Desmond: I actually feel affection for these knuckle-dragging sub-monkeys.
Barney: - That's an ad for shoe inserts. - What the....? I've been writing creepy letters to that?
Barney Setup/Punchline Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Barney · Declan Desmond: An action movie where I play the Pope who kills the president? No, that's a terrible idea. Yeah, I know. It's stupid. I think it could work, though. I've even got a title: Pontiff No Return. I came up with it, but I don't really get it.
Homer: O, spirit! Are you gonna show me my future? My snow-flecked grave, mourned by no man?
Homer Observational Character Comedy Homer: O, spirit! Are you gonna show me my future? My snow-flecked grave, mourned by no man? Well, it's not too late for me to change! You there, boy! Buy me a Christmas goose! The biggest one in the shop! And then what?
Homer Setup/Punchline Meta/Self-Referential Ned Flanders: He picked the perfect time to lock in his mortgage.
Moe: Homer gave me a kidney. It wasn't his, I didn't need it, and it came postage due, but still, a lovely gesture.
Moe Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Lisa: At bedtime, he tucks me in tighter than anyone else could. And you know what? No monsters have gotten me yet.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: hanging out with my family, drinking with my friends, making friends with my family and hanging with my drinking.
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
