I Dont Wanna Know Why The Caged Bird Sin

Bart:I am not an Fdic-insured bank.

Homer · Marge:Think. Think. / I'm not thinking. You think. / You have to think, it's your job!

Bart:To be fair, the millennium just started, so it's not that big a deal.

Homer:What?! Name 12.

Marge:Lisa, if you like, I'm certified to conduct a mock father daughter conversation.

Homer · Marge:American sober or Irish sober? / Point zero eight sober. / Point one five. / Point zero nine. / Point one zero with a stomach full of bread. My final offer. / Deal.

Homer:Ooh, an awesome accident. Easy, easy... I'll just take three seconds to gawk. Aw, everyone's okay.

Homer:'Make way for Superman,' said Superman as he punched everyone at the Coffee Bean. Chapter Two...

Unnamed characters:I did both your grandmas. / Shut up!

Homer:Darn these long bank lines. Although it does give me a moment with my thoughts. Ooh... Darn these long bank lines.

Homer · Old man:Where's Dr. Kevorkian when you need him? / Well, if I know doctors, he's probably golfing.

Bank robbers · Homer:Uh, not a separate robbery we're together. / You mean like a couple? / No! / Yes! / Oh, great. We're being robbed by Johnny and Clyde!

Bank customer:We're being robbed by Johnny and Clyde!

Bank robber · Gil:We didn't plan for this, man. We didn't plan for this. / Ol' Gil's here for his first day as security guard. Oh, boy...

Lou · Chief Wiggum:Come on, Chief, you know this. / Oh, a shooty-stealy.

Homer · Marge:Homer. / I'm a hostage in a bank robbery. / What?! / Oh, my God, my sweet Margie! Okay, listen very carefully. Don't do anything they say, remain panicky, and above all, try to be a hero.

Marge:If I don't make it, feel free to remarry from anyone on the list in the bulletin board in the closet. Lindsey Naegle, Booberella, Blythe Danner. Also, feed cat

Krusty:I was voted America's least funny clown. Worse than Scuzzo, Scummo, Oopsie, Carlos Mencia, Stinko, Blumpy. Even worse Sergeant Serious! How could I do worse than him?! I stole all his jokes!

Chief Wiggum:Maybe you should take over, cause I got no stake in this. This isn't even my bank. I'm over at First Federal.

Lou:Finally, the help we need a DVD of The Negotiator.

Lou:Which chapter should we skip to? 'Meet Danny Ron', 'Trouble Brewing,' 'Off the Case', 'My Baby's in There,' 'Enter Niebaum,' 'Take the Shot,' 'Sabian's Choice,' 'Check and Mate,' 'Friends At Last,' 'Closing Credits'?

Homer:I shouldn't die. I just came here to check the date!

Krusty:Hey, if I can say yes to Chinese toys that kill kids, you can say yes to him.

Marge · Homer:You said you visited him every night. / Moe the tavern, not Moe the person.

Homer · Marge:Moe was in the hospital for three weeks, and I didn't visit him once. / You said you visited him every night. / Moe the tavern, not Moe the person.

Homer:Ooh! Shlomo's Judaica is having a blowout on dreidels.

Dwight:I'm so nervous it feels like I keistered a bunch of butterflies.

Dwight:My real mother abandoned me in an amusement park. All I have left is a caricature from that day.

Fat Tony · Wife:Listen carefully. Someone's been editing my biography on Wikipedia. I want you to kill him. / No problem, sweetie. I'll dump his body in the same lake as your lousy lawyer. / Then when you get out, we can have a picnic there! / Aw, that's so sweet.

Unknown prisoners:I want you to kill him. / No problem, sweetie. I'll dump his body in the same lake as your lousy lawyer. Then when you get out, we can have a picnic there!

Marge:I really shouldn't show up without an apple pie for Dwight. In fact, I really shouldn't show up without an apple pie for everyone at the prison.

Ted Nugent:Hello, this is Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman, urging you to vote no on Proposition 87. If we outlaw crossbows in our public schools, who's gonna protect our children from charging elk?

Ted Nugent:Hello, this is Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman, urging you to vote no on Proposition 87. If we outlaw crossbows in our public schools, who's gonna protect our children from charging elk?

Johnny Stabbo:I ain't afraid of old sparky, the hot seat, the kilowatt couch, the death davenport, the electric lap, the crook cooker, the scorch stool!

Itchy · Scratchy:Steroids cause health problems / Sluggers make millions.

Marge:Who can it be knocking at my door? Make no sound Tiptoe across the floor If he hears, he'll knock all... Oh, hey, oh. Oh, wait, this ain't where I go to vote.

Marge:They're so buggy, I can't.

Dwight · Marge:I'd like to, but then you'll leave like she did. / Can you at least put it in your jacket? / Fine, but I'm still gonna make that pointy shape.

Krusty:Sorry I offered your life for my safety.

Comic Book Guy:I saw it, I just didn't feel like talking to you.

Chief Wiggum · Lou:Can't a man spend one minute with his stuffed monkey? / One minute? / A monkey would make a better chief. / What did you say? / I said monkey would make a better chief!

Chief Wiggum:I'll show them which monkey would make the best chief!

Krusty · Homer:Instead of a carnival ride, what if he was run over by a Zamboni with a moustache? / I don't see how. / Then I got nothing.

Dwight · Marge:You chat up the guard at the gate, while I knife the guard behind me. / I can't do that, Dwight. / I figured you'd say that.