When Marge begs Homer to find Selma a husband, he sets her up with Principal Skinner... who falls in love with Patty instead.
Principal Skinner's romantic subplot drives 81-joke opus with absurdist edge throughout.
Directed by Mark Kirkland · Written by David M. Stern
WAR
49.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Principal Charming” ranks #152 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.4 — Elite. The episode packs 65 scored jokes at 4.6 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Homer: You bought those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: If you knew how to learn-- Sit. Wait a minute, you did it!
Bart Setup/Punchline Escalation Training instructor: We do not need another college graduate who doesn't know how to sit!
Student · Training instructor: Is my dog dead, ma'am? You don't know how often I'm asked that.
Bart: Lisa, you wasted chicken pox. Don't waste the mumps.
Bart Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 65 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer: No! No! Bad dog! Let go!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Homer: Bad Santa's Little Helper! Stop! Not the sports section!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Homer: No! Stay away! This is not for you! This is Homer food!
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Lisa: I'll make it, Mom. Just tape my lunch box to my hand.
Lisa Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Dr. Hibbert: Not that I'm angry, but how did you get my home number?
Dr. Hibbert: Well, Mrs. Simpson... I'd like to rely on your diagnosis, but it'd be derelict of me to do so.
Bart: No way, she's faking. If Lisa stays home, I stay home.
Bart Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Lisa: If Bart stays home, I go to school.
Lisa Character Comedy Escalation Bart: Wait. If Lisa goes to school, I go. But if she stays, I stay, so... Lisa goes to school...
Bart Absurdist Character Comedy Marge Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: Lisa, you wasted chicken pox. Don't waste the mumps.
Bart Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart · Otto: Bart-dude! Hey, Otto-man! Yo, hairy bro.
Apu: Wandering mongrel. Get out of my mom-and-pop operation.
Apu Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Mrs. Winfield: Your canine is in my pool again. I'm calling the dog warden.
Homer: You go ahead and call your precious dog warden, you old axe... because my dog is tied up!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Escalation Homer: I am looking at him right--
Homer Visual Gag Reaction Beat Ned Flanders: Well, how-doodlie-do. Getting some exercise? Good for you.
Ned Flanders: Look at this rascal. He's a wet boy, isn't he? You're a water monster.
Ned Flanders: Well, well, 'Mr. Universe' takes a walk.
Homer: 'Mr. Universe,' I wish.
Homer: They've got Velcro, a water pump, built-in odometer, and vanity plates.
Homer Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Ned Flanders: My heart rate's dropping. Better skedaddle-y-do.
Dr. Hibbert: Before you know it, you'll be back among your polygons... and your Euclidian algorithms.
Homer: Oh, the kissing disease.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: My little girl is growing up.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Teen Dream, Teen Scream... and Teen Steam magazine?
Homer Absurdist Escalation ★ Rewatch Lisa Observational Wordplay/Pun Marge: The memory of a million drop stitches flows in your veins.
Marge Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Marge: Now that's a sewing finger, honey.
Marge Visual Gag Character Comedy Homer · Store clerk: They're for my daughter. Sure. Wise guy.
Homer · Mr. Burns: Simpson! I order you to buy those shoes! You're the boss!
Homer: 'Keep On Truckin'?' What does that mean? I didn't know then. I don't know now.
Homer Observational Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer · Lisa: How many of these guys are Corey? Eight.
Lisa · Bart: Phonics, functions, vocabulary, remedial reading? Do your own homework, Bart!
Homer: You bought those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Training instructor · Homer: 'Satan's Little Helper.' Santa's Little Helper.
Training instructor: Nonsense taught by charlatans and learned by bloody twits!
Training instructor: I'll tell you the most important words you'll ever hear... choke chain.
Training instructor: The dog's eyes will cross, and his tongue will protrude slightly.
Student · Training instructor: Is my dog dead, ma'am? You don't know how often I'm asked that.
Marge: I don't know. I just dip in and out. I'm only watching because Brandy knows the body is hidden in the boathouse.
Marge Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Training instructor · Homer: The other, like a hose without a fireman. Which way do you think that was? Like a hose, you wrinkled queen.
Homer · Store clerk: My dog was bringing me my shoes, and they fell apart in his mouth. Our warranty doesn't cover fire, theft or acts of dog.
Vendor · Homer: If you'd like to buy, they're $1. So that's your little plan! Get us addicted, then jack up the price!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Lisa: He taught that the noblest concerto can be drained of its beauty.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Lisa: He taught me that music is a fire that comes out your mouth. So you better stick an instrument in front of it.
Lisa Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Marge: My quilt! Six generations, ruined!
Marge Character Comedy Escalation Homer Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Homer: We never did this before. We never had a family member we can give away.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Bart: I'll set fire to my hair, rip my clothes!
Bart Character Comedy Escalation Bart: I've suffered at the paws of this dog... but when I look into his vacant eyes, I can't bear to let him go.
Bart Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Lisa: We can question his disposition, but we can't question his heart.
Lisa Character Comedy Observational Homer: If they're ever going to pull the plug on me, I want you in my corner.
Homer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: You moldy old maid.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Homer: Free to loving home, world's smartest dog. Says 'I love you' on command.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: Take a walk. Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I say.
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Farmer: He'd be happy at my farm. People think only mules can pull carts. Impatient people think that, patient people know better.
Farmer Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Training instructor: Heavens to murgatroid. Perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well-chewed shoe...
Training instructor: We do not need another college graduate who doesn't know how to sit!
Homer: I'm sorry. You can't help being dumb.
Homer Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Marge: This patch commemorates the destruction of the old quilt.
Marge Observational Character Comedy Bart: If you knew how to learn-- Sit. Wait a minute, you did it!
Bart Setup/Punchline Escalation Bart: You son of a bitch! Good show!
Bart Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — The Simpsons