Homer becomes the most popular guy in town when he gets an illegal cable hook-up, but Lisa fears he will go to hell for violating the Eighth Commandment.
Piracy morality play delivers 67 jokes in 22 minutes—solid density masks middling impact scores.
Directed by Rich Moore · Written by Steve Pepoon
WAR
56.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment” ranks #115 of 226 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.6 — Elite. The episode packs 67 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
The screen door resting off its hinges. Mangy dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard!
No. It is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.
Well, it was either cable or the mechanical bull. I made my choice and I stand by it.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch I once watched Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo bare-knuckled for 113 rounds! Back then, if it was less than 50 rounds, we demanded our nickel back!
All Jokes — 67 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Evening, Carver of Graven Images. -Homer the Thief. How's business?
Been a little slow. Not much to steal in the desert.
Do not worry. We'll be wandering out here another two weeks, tops.
Zohar the Adulterer. My wife sends her regards. -Yes, she's a good woman. Very good. -Thank you, my lusty friend.
-Moses is back. -Quick! Everybody, look busy.
I will read them in no particular order.
Moses Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement "Thou shalt not make graven images." -Oh, my God!
"Thou shalt not commit adultery." -Well, looks like the party's over.
Hey, Moses. Keep them coming! "Thou shalt not steal."
Sorry, Homer.
Moses Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat That's the most dishonest thing I've ever heard! I should box your ears!
Boy, what's this world coming to? -That's exactly-- -Gotta go.
"Myth: Cable piracy is wrong. Fact: Cable companies are faceless corporations which makes it okay."
It's funny because it's true!
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy "Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies. Fact: Most movies on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseam."
We'll teach you to lower your bill by making your own Band-Aids.
This is where Jaws eats the boat. Here, Die Hard jumps through the window. This is where Wall Street gets arrested.
Homer Character Comedy Observational They think people watch that.
Homer Observational Deadpan/Understatement Live, from New Orleans. This is the World Series of Cockfighting! Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou tonight.
Oh, pizza.
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy I sat through mercy and forgiveness. Finally, we get to the good stuff.
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Hell is terrible! Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket.
-Won't you eventually get used to it? -No. -Yes.
-Are there pirates in hell? -Thousands of them. -Oh, baby!
Hell, hell, hell, hell....
Bart Escalation Character Comedy Callback Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard!
A program-length advertisement!
Homer Observational Character Comedy -Thank you, Troy. Hi, everybody! -Hi, Dr. Riviera!
It won't cost you a thing. Except your soul!
Lisa Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Beats the hell out of me!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Thou shalt not.... Covet... graven images. Something about covet.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Callback Yes. I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them.
Lisa Character Comedy Escalation I need a price check on two grapes. You heard me, Phil. Two measly, stinking grapes.
Run for the hills, Ma Barker, before I call the feds!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness?
Homer Character Comedy Observational After the fight, we can watch the still photos on the news.
Barney Observational Deadpan/Understatement The screen door resting off its hinges. Mangy dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch The big fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds and the smells of other men.
Well, it was either cable or the mechanical bull. I made my choice and I stand by it.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch The fight! I'll get my brother, Sanjay, to cover for me. He deplores violence.
Apu Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy No. It is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.
-Should I have him arrested? -That seems like an ideal solution.
You're watching Top Hat Entertainment. Adult programming all day, every day. Except in Florida and Utah.
It's for mommies and daddies who love each other.
Marge Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Sorry, I'd rather go to heaven.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline There's something wrong with that kid. She's so moral.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy I can't afford it. When I can afford to pay for it, I will. But I can't so I'm not going to.
It's coming down! The cable stays. The foot has spoken.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Would you be interested in this stereo? A $500 value. You can have it for $40.
The most beautiful women! Just 50 cents! I'm your host, Bart Simpson! You must be at least 8 years old.
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive -Gross! -Yet strangely compelling.
I wish I was an adult so I could break rules.
Bart Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy -Did you swipe those from work? -Certainly not. What are you implying?
-You can't! -I can! You dedicate the fight to your manager! I want to tell you that I'm not watching this fight.
Quick! It's Moe. I gotta hide the mugs.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Hide the stuff I borrowed from work! -Borrowed? -Okay, that stuff I stole from work. -Oh, okay.
-Hide the stuff I borrowed from work! -Borrowed? -Okay, that stuff I stole from work.
It wasn't me. It was my wife's idea. Yeah!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Assault. Manslaughter. Stealing cable TV!
I hate to interrupt your judging me. I've made a couple of important decisions.
Number two: I'm not very fond of any of you.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Everyone to my place for squishies and microwave burritos.
Apu Character Comedy Observational I once watched Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo bare-knuckled for 113 rounds! Back then, if it was less than 50 rounds, we demanded our nickel back!
Third time's a charm.
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons
