Homer becomes the most popular guy in town when he gets an illegal cable hook-up, but Lisa fears he will go to hell for violating the Eighth Commandment.
Piracy morality play delivers 67 jokes in 22 minutes—solid density masks middling impact scores.
Directed by Rich Moore · Written by Steve Pepoon
WAR
56.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Homer Vs Lisa And The 8Th Commandment” ranks #219 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 79.6 — Elite. The episode packs 67 scored jokes at 3.8 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Homer landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Mr. Burns: The screen door resting off its hinges. Mangy dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Troy McClure: Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard!
Reverend Lovejoy: No. It is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.
Moe: Well, it was either cable or the mechanical bull. I made my choice and I stand by it.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Grampa Simpson: I once watched Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo bare-knuckled for 113 rounds! Back then, if it was less than 50 rounds, we demanded our nickel back!
All Jokes — 67 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Ancient Characters: Evening, Carver of Graven Images. -Homer the Thief. How's business?
Homer the Thief: Been a little slow. Not much to steal in the desert.
Homer the Thief: Do not worry. We'll be wandering out here another two weeks, tops.
Zohar the Adulterer · Another Character: Zohar the Adulterer. My wife sends her regards. -Yes, she's a good woman. Very good. -Thank you, my lusty friend.
Ancient Characters: -Moses is back. -Quick! Everybody, look busy.
Moses: I will read them in no particular order.
Moses Absurdist Deadpan/Understatement Moses · Carver of Graven Images: "Thou shalt not make graven images." -Oh, my God!
Moses · Zohar the Adulterer: "Thou shalt not commit adultery." -Well, looks like the party's over.
Homer the Thief · Moses: Hey, Moses. Keep them coming! "Thou shalt not steal."
Moses Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Ned Flanders: That's the most dishonest thing I've ever heard! I should box your ears!
Homer · Ned Flanders: Boy, what's this world coming to? -That's exactly-- -Gotta go.
Cable Installer reading pamphlet: "Myth: Cable piracy is wrong. Fact: Cable companies are faceless corporations which makes it okay."
Homer: It's funny because it's true!
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Homer: Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer reading pamphlet: "Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies. Fact: Most movies on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseam."
TV Announcer: We'll teach you to lower your bill by making your own Band-Aids.
Homer: This is where Jaws eats the boat. Here, Die Hard jumps through the window. This is where Wall Street gets arrested.
Homer Character Comedy Observational Homer: They think people watch that.
Homer Observational Deadpan/Understatement TV Announcer: Live, from New Orleans. This is the World Series of Cockfighting! Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou tonight.
Homer Reaction Beat Character Comedy Bart: I sat through mercy and forgiveness. Finally, we get to the good stuff.
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Sunday School Teacher: Hell is terrible! Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket.
Student · Sunday School Teacher: -Won't you eventually get used to it? -No. -Yes.
Student · Sunday School Teacher · Bart: -Are there pirates in hell? -Thousands of them. -Oh, baby!
Bart: Hell, hell, hell, hell....
Bart Escalation Character Comedy Callback Troy McClure: Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard!
Homer: A program-length advertisement!
Homer Observational Character Comedy Dr. Nick Riviera · Audience: -Thank you, Troy. Hi, everybody! -Hi, Dr. Riviera!
Lisa: It won't cost you a thing. Except your soul!
Lisa Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Homer: Beats the hell out of me!
Homer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Callback Homer: Thou shalt not.... Covet... graven images. Something about covet.
Homer Character Comedy Misdirection Callback Lisa: Yes. I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them.
Lisa Character Comedy Escalation Store Clerk: I need a price check on two grapes. You heard me, Phil. Two measly, stinking grapes.
Homer: Run for the hills, Ma Barker, before I call the feds!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: How can one little insulated wire bring so much happiness?
Homer Character Comedy Observational Barney: After the fight, we can watch the still photos on the news.
Barney Observational Deadpan/Understatement Mr. Burns: The screen door resting off its hinges. Mangy dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns: The big fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds and the smells of other men.
Moe: Well, it was either cable or the mechanical bull. I made my choice and I stand by it.
Moe Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Apu: The fight! I'll get my brother, Sanjay, to cover for me. He deplores violence.
Apu Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Reverend Lovejoy: No. It is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.
Lisa · Reverend Lovejoy: -Should I have him arrested? -That seems like an ideal solution.
TV announcer: You're watching Top Hat Entertainment. Adult programming all day, every day. Except in Florida and Utah.
Bart · Marge: -Ay, carumba! -Bart!
Marge: It's for mommies and daddies who love each other.
Marge Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Lisa: Sorry, I'd rather go to heaven.
Lisa Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Homer: There's something wrong with that kid. She's so moral.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: I can't afford it. When I can afford to pay for it, I will. But I can't so I'm not going to.
Homer: It's coming down! The cable stays. The foot has spoken.
Homer Character Comedy Escalation Burglar: Would you be interested in this stereo? A $500 value. You can have it for $40.
Bart: The most beautiful women! Just 50 cents! I'm your host, Bart Simpson! You must be at least 8 years old.
Bart Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Child · Another Child: -Gross! -Yet strangely compelling.
Bart: I wish I was an adult so I could break rules.
Bart Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer · Lenny: -Did you swipe those from work? -Certainly not. What are you implying?
Boxers · Lisa: -You can't! -I can! You dedicate the fight to your manager! I want to tell you that I'm not watching this fight.
Homer: Quick! It's Moe. I gotta hide the mugs.
Homer Character Comedy Absurdist Homer · Family member: Hide the stuff I borrowed from work! -Borrowed? -Okay, that stuff I stole from work. -Oh, okay.
Homer · Marge: -Hide the stuff I borrowed from work! -Borrowed? -Okay, that stuff I stole from work.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, the Cheetos.
Homer: It wasn't me. It was my wife's idea. Yeah!
Homer Character Comedy Escalation TV Announcer: Assault. Manslaughter. Stealing cable TV!
Homer: I hate to interrupt your judging me. I've made a couple of important decisions.
Homer: Number two: I'm not very fond of any of you.
Homer Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Apu: Everyone to my place for squishies and microwave burritos.
Apu Character Comedy Observational Grampa Simpson: I once watched Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo bare-knuckled for 113 rounds! Back then, if it was less than 50 rounds, we demanded our nickel back!
Homer: Third time's a charm.
Homer Visual Gag Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Simpsons