When Moe discovers a hidden talent for judging contests, he is approached by a television agent to join the AMERICAN IDOL judges' panel. Moe flies to Los Angeles where he tours the Fox lot and receives some sage career advice. Meanwhile, Homer drives Marge crazy when he begins hanging around the house.
WAR
19.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Judge Me Tender” ranks #486 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 72.5 — Solid. The episode packs 54 scored jokes at 2.9 per minute, averaging 6.7 on craft and 6.0 on impact, with Moe landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Barney: I'll have to go home and drink better beer at half the price in natural lighting!
Barney Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Ned: At least in hell, the heat still works.
Ned Observational Deadpan/Understatement Moe: I don't wanna say it's ugly, but PETA called and said we should kill this one.
Moe Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Moe: There is one bright side: I'm also forbidden from ever watching Fox. / You can't even show it in the bar? / That's right, and business has never been better.
Moe Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Moe: It's like somebody stepped on New York and scraped it off on the beach.
Moe Observational Setup/Punchline All Jokes — 54 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Homer Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Homer: Hello, boy. Why, you...!
Homer Character Comedy Reaction Beat Homer: I want something that looks like this... had a baby with this, and it got sat on by this.
Homer · Bart: You never fail to nauseate me, boy. / Just call me 'Barf Simpson.'
Homer: I wanted to, but your mother said kids might tease you.
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Bart · Homer: Dad, do you realize we've put more time into this than all my schoolwork combined? / But if we win this, we get a gift certificate. / For what? / It doesn't matter.
Zoo Customer: I need a diaper for my chimp that won't upset my tiger's stomach if he eats the chimp.
Pet Store Employee: Fear not. Our chimp diapers have that nutty cinnamon taste tigers love.
Tiger: Mmm! It's a great time to be a tiger.
Tiger Absurdist Character Comedy Lisa · Ned: So that natural selection was the origin of this species? / Yup, that's exactly... Whoa-oa-oa! You almost got me.
Lisa Ned Character Comedy Misdirection Ned Character Comedy Escalation Moe · Comic Book Guy: This seat taken? / Uh, yes, I'm saving it for... this soy sauce packet.
Moe: Aw, man, you know you're a loser when they don't even work hard on the excuse.
Moe Observational Cringe/Discomfort Moe: Thanks a lot, everyone. Choke on yourselves.
Moe Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Krusty: Whoa, that one's so ugly, it reminds me of my ex-wife! Hah!
Krusty Setup/Punchline Observational Krusty: That one reminds me of her lawyer. Congress... elderly drivers... commercials... Bella Abzug...
Audience Member: Hey, clown, we've heard your stand-up! Now how about some shut-up!
Krusty · Audience Member: Everybody's a comedian. / Except you!
Moe: Check it out. Two train wrecks connected by a strip of leather.
Moe Setup/Punchline Observational Moe: I don't wanna say it's ugly, but PETA called and said we should kill this one.
Moe Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Moe: Even the Koreans wouldn't touch this dog!
Moe Dark/Subversive Setup/Punchline Homer: Humble faces, kids! Humbler! Lisa, too humble.
Homer Escalation Character Comedy Moe: Wow, they love me for my bile. And I got a spleenful!
Moe Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Moe: No, no, no, I don't need your fair-weather friendship... is what I'll say tomorrow morning!
Moe Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Moe · Barney: Can you make it sound like girls askin' me? / Oh, Moe, please do it! Oh! Please? Moe, please? / Okay, you crazy dames, I'll do it!
Barney: I'll have to go home and drink better beer at half the price in natural lighting!
Barney Irony/Sarcasm Observational ★ Rewatch Moe: Yeah, that's right! Scatter, ya cockroaches!
Moe Character Comedy Visual Gag Girl Scout: I can see that down deep is a decent man.
Homer · Marge: Oh, can't a guy rush home from work to see his beautiful... / Moe's is closed, huh? / Yeah.
Homer: Even in the thought bubble, I gotta buy band candy?
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Moe: Looks like you ate a Rastafarian, and he's comin' back up on ya!
Moe Setup/Punchline Observational Moe: You talk like my ass plays harmonica.
Homer: After the title page, it's Bob Dole's memoirs.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Moe · Assistant · Moe: Can I have another corpse? / They weren't corpses. / Uh-oh.
Agent: you're mean, you're funny and you're not British!
Agent Observational Character Comedy Moe: Don't let this pasty face and bad teeth fool ya.
Agent: America's Ripest Bananas, So You Think You Can Judge, Who Wants to be a Welder? Poodle Versus Elephant... Leg Swap, Old People Try to Figure Out Computers
Moe: Did you just say 'Armenian Idol'? 'Cause that's my favorite show!
Homer: I mixed all the spices together into one super spice!
Homer Absurdist Character Comedy Bartender: I think you want the gay bar across the street.
Moe: It's like somebody stepped on New York and scraped it off on the beach.
Moe Observational Setup/Punchline Homer: They charge you for parts and labor? Pick one, buddy.
Homer Observational Character Comedy Ned: At least in hell, the heat still works.
Ned Observational Deadpan/Understatement Simon Cowell · Moe: I'm here, I'm gone. I'm here, I'm gone. I'm here. I get it. I get it. That-That's your thing.
Simon: Well, that was a truly a remarkable version of 'Happy Birthday.' Because when it was done, I actually felt like I had lost a year of my life.
Simon Setup/Punchline Misdirection Moe: you should be on Broadway chargin' a hundred bucks a ticket.
Simon: But even more objectionable were Moe's insipid comments, a desperate plea for affection, which fell as flat as the hair on my head.
Simon: Why would I try to sabotage a new judge who just might do what I do for $48 million less?
Simon Observational Meta/Self-Referential Homer: I feel like the Tiger Woods of sex. In the mood for another round?
Moe · Barney: Legally, I can't say. / To a drunk man, that's a yes.
Moe: There is one bright side: I'm also forbidden from ever watching Fox. / You can't even show it in the bar? / That's right, and business has never been better.
Moe Meta/Self-Referential Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Jay Leno: The president says Iran has gotten ahold of the most dangerous weapon known to man: The BP oil rig. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. But I know how to make that leak disappear: put it on NBC.
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