Mr. Burns becomes distraught at the town's apathetic reaction to the announcement that he has only weeks to live; Bart secretly takes Burns into the family's home.
WAR
63.3
Wins Above Replacement
“The Fool Monty” ranks #88 of 552 The Simpsons episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 83.4 — Elite. The episode packs 57 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.3 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Mr. Burns landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Mr. Burns: I'm leaving all my money to an orchard that will grow inedible 'me'-shaped fruits. They're as addictive as they are poisonous.
Mr. Burns: It wasn't kindness that was keeping me alive, it was bile building up inside!
Mr. Burns: Loathing is my life blood, and rage my royal jelly!
Mr. Burns: You are making a very powerful temporary enemy!
Government Official: Please use your time in line wisely to 'Sophie's Choice' your child.
All Jokes — 57 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Media Executive: NBC, you are here to listen and not speak!
Media Executive: It's like the summer of the shark, except instead of a shark, it's an epidemic... and instead of summer, it's all the time!
Media Executive: He loves being that guy.
Media Executive: The only moral thing to do is release a deadly virus into the general public.
NBC Executive: Get over here, NBC. (chuckling) Well, we certainly believe in testing, but I... Oh! (woozy moan)
News Anchor: that warm body on your lap just might be ready to destroy your tender vittles
News Anchor: mild thirst, occasional hunger, tiredness at night
Homer: We have to burn everything the cat touched, before the virus makes us paranoid!
Homer Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Homer: I thought he was an old clump of rags.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag Government Official: Please use your time in line wisely to 'Sophie's Choice' your child.
Unknown Springfielder: I don't even have a kid that I admit to having.
Bart: Because, you see, I am afraid of needles, but Wolverine is not. Snikt! Snikt!
Bart Character Comedy Visual Gag Mr. Burns: Need... acceptable currency... Ooh... for delicious treat... Ooh!
Mr. Burns: One for me, one for Smithers here and the rest for my hounds.
Mayor Quimby: Give him what he wants. He's the only taxpayer in this town.
Mr. Burns: They'll see me take it and they'll want some. Yes 'oo will. Yes 'oo will, you little jelly belly.
Homer: Hurry, everyone! Roll in the shards! Come on! Like this!
Homer Physical/Slapstick Absurdist Homer: Healthy. Gettin' healthy. Ow! Gettin' healthy... and very sleepy.
Homer Physical/Slapstick Escalation Mr. Burns: I feel as hail and hearty as an eohippus.
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Dr. Hibbert: whooping cough, hectic fever, cancrum otis, Wellington's ooze, the Lambeth plague, and skull collapse
Dr. Hibbert: You might live to see the Wheat-Eared Warbler return to Swinton Park. But I wouldn't count on it.
Comic Book Guy: Whew! I will have to hand-crank my wiener warmer.
Comic Book Guy: Hand-crank my wiener warmer!
Carl: Finally, a break for the black man!
Carl Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Mr. Burns: My days are Roman-numeraled!
Mr. Burns: You are making a very powerful temporary enemy!
Mr. Burns: I'm leaving all my money to an orchard that will grow inedible 'me'-shaped fruits. They're as addictive as they are poisonous.
Mr. Burns: I pay you, Smithers. No kind of love can come from one man paying another.
Mr. Burns: Shred them in the wood chipper, and use the rags to wax my car.
Mr. Burns: crushing as many of those baby sea turtles as I possibly can
Groundskeeper Willie: My poop stick has brought him back to life! But which end?
Mr. Burns: My name Oatmeal?
Bart · Toy: Ah, I'm playing with my Sergeant Activity Doll. DOLL: Why not buy another of me?
Smithers: Because he would inject me with coffee at 6:00 a.m. in the back of the head.
Smithers: Oh, yeah. He likes to stack men naked.
News Reporter: these are among the people who've come today to spit in Montgomery Burns' open grave
Homer: I hope they use that spit for a good cause, like sealing wedding envelopes. Or helping a railroad worker grip his sledgehammer!
Toy: DOLL: Attack during their sacred holiday!
Toy Visual Gag Dark/Subversive Bart: He will do my bidding... at that fantasy football auction.
Homer: Marge, it's the golden rule: treat others the way they mess with you.
Homer Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Bart · Chief Wiggum: Eight-year-old? I always thought you were a midget! We're called 'little people,' and I'm not one.
Moe: Yeah, Seaside Heights ain't Maui, but, uh, you take what you can get.
Moe Character Comedy Observational Dick Cheney: What do you think I am, 1,000 years old? I got a myPod full of Lee Greenwood.
Chief Wiggum: This town can't teach its kids or collect its garbage, but we lead the nation in pointless revenge.
Homer: Don't worry, boy. Another girder always swings in for you to walk on right when you get to the end.
Homer Character Comedy Visual Gag Moe · Apu: Oh, I can't shoot him. I've got him next. Well, that is your bad luck, because he is mine right now. Come back in half an hour. He can be your accomplice.
Moe Apu Character Comedy Escalation Otto: Found a way to use him as a bong.
Otto Dark/Subversive Visual Gag Homer: Yeah, I've done all I can do in that medium.
Homer Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Mr. Burns: And me smell like drugstore cologne the rest of the day? I don't think so. You may hug... my shadow.
Dick Cheney: You realize that every time I don't get what I want, Al Qaeda wins?
Mr. Burns · Smithers: I'm going to cover this town with a dome! It's been done! Really? You don't say. Did you know about this? Mm-hmm. I see.
Homer: Plus we could always dig ourselves out, although that never seems to occur to anybody.
Homer Meta/Self-Referential Observational Mr. Burns: It wasn't kindness that was keeping me alive, it was bile building up inside!
Mr. Burns: Loathing is my life blood, and rage my royal jelly!
Mr. Burns: I won't be Bismarcked into fathering anyone!
Mr. Burns Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Mr. Burns: My son? My son?! The truth is... I don't have a son!
Top Episodes — The Simpsons
